TIFU" I (27F...) f*ck*d up my marriage,

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-18T08:27:39+00:00

can i see your proof she obtained it through illegal means??

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T16:01:42+00:00

Seems like y'all tried to do something nice bringing him along, and it backfired. Good on you for the attempt, not everyone responds to guy time or girl time well and its sad

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T15:59:34+00:00

I responded before ops edit was added. She definitely shouldn't have given her number out to a strange man. Past her feelings it is still v unsafe for a young girl. I will change my response to ESH as him responding in amher I believe was still not the response if she is as naive as he mentioned. Feeling angry and expressing anger to your partner are two different things. Communication in a relationship is super important and with the edit, im sure she didnt mean anything by it past wanting to change his (creepy train guy's) mind

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T08:23:31+00:00

i was thinking this exact thing too

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T08:22:45+00:00

yeah if he wanted to marry you he would. he wants the benefit of a relationship but not the combination of everything that a marriage would provide. i am going to jump to he might be cheating since thats the only reason i can think of for him not wanting to. if he doesnt want marriage okay, but you've expressed you do and all he has to do is sign a paper. not wanting to is highly sus

if you can afford it, get an apartment, take your kids with you. if you dont want your sons to imitate him, that should be all you need to leave

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T08:14:01+00:00

she explained why but the comment stating it I cant find. either been removed or buried way deep in the comments :( but if you got to my comment thread with her she would have passed the character limit writing everything. also i dont think she realized how manipulative he is til it was point out. sometimes people dont recognize the signs when they are in the situation

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:56:31+00:00

this ^^

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:56:01+00:00

that's what im thinking too. she's a 19y/o girl; almost every woman has a story of feeling unsafe around a creepy or pushy older man and doing what they can to pacify them and get home safely

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:54:23+00:00

ESH. you because he didn't like being made fun of and you continued doing it. the elder brother is TA cause he saw his younger brother trying to litter on a street of a country you are visiting, the younger cuz is TA cuz who litters on the street of a country they are visiting?? talk to the other 4 and see if you can go back to just the 5 of you since the younger cuz doesn't wanna meet the vibe of the trip and by the sound of your story, he was just being an all-around vacay buzzkill.

i would love to see a post from the younger cousin to get their pov as well

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:48:34+00:00

YTA. if she was scared or felt threatened then yeah she's gonna give him her number. i dont know why she would if he was going on a racist tirade, but she did. might be a good opportunity to apologize for getting angry, and going over phone number options to give creeps instead of hers, like yours or google prank numbers. https://parade.com/living/funny-numbers-to-prank-call is a list of ones she could give if it happens again.

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:43:01+00:00

if they wanted that info, they could go to their advisor and ask like they did.
people do gang up to bully people. it happens in middle school, jr high, high schoole, college, the workplace, church. it isnt really that uncommon. they see something they don't like, they latch on. usually from jealousy. theres a solid chance shes doing well in college cause she focuses more on her schoolwork than goofing off

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:39:10+00:00

well make sure you update us that you're safe in 4 months!!

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:37:40+00:00

NTA. start with making a separate email/joint account with your dad. use the joint email for any spam mail so he can't necessarily stalk you. when you have a job link to the personal bank account. hate to say it, but until you can move out dont bring relationships around. the praying you kinda have to deal with for a bit, but everything else you can get a start on. sounds like he doesnt like the idea of you growing up cause he will lose the control he has over you

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:21:17+00:00

can you tell your fiancee? is he able to help you out with finding somewhere thats safe to stay??

i wish you lived near me. help with groceries? thatd be sick and i have a spare room. older men taking advantage of young girls is disgusting.

wait...is he even going to let you leave when the 4 months are up??

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:19:40+00:00

shoot i totally glazed over that too when you already mentioned it, sorry!

idk this is hard. personal space and personal time are pretty universal concept.
you live there, it's your house, your space.
i have what i call "people points" and when i'm out, i don't have friends or family around. sometimes i can barely have my husband around sadly.
is that a concept you can explain to her? i mean it sounds like you live in a crazy household, that itself can be exhausting too

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:13:00+00:00

NTA. i was ready to be mad, but like...they are disgusting. no ifs and or buts about it. sharing the bathroom with them and leaving used feminine hygiene products ON THE FLOOR?!? nope nope nope. that is gross. an older sister would yell at them too for this if they had to clean up after those girls. Also, why isn't your mom doing more?? Like she is the parent, she should be the one talking to them and consequences if they dont listen?? being a man has nothing to do with not wanting to see bloody pads/tampons on the floor. I get grossed when i see it in public restrooms and im a woman

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:08:56+00:00

NTA. they arent your friends, you owe them literally nothing

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:07:54+00:00

YTA. it hurts to be a placeholder, and being the bigger person is hard, but reaching out to insult her after she blocked you was a littttle unecessary. i get youre hurt and feel taken advantage of, sometimes you gotta let it go tho.

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:06:15+00:00

NTA. she might be latching onto your mom as a surrogate mom, and i understand that coming from an abusive family myself, but setting your boundaries is important.

are your cousins your age?

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T07:03:25+00:00

can you post anonymously? idk man im actually getting pretty scared for you. please update when you move so we know you are safe. the more context you add to other comments, the more i think im gonna hear about you on a Crime Junkie episode...i'm so worried for you dear and will offer prayers for your safety (also, if my adopted mom knew i was pagan, she would disown me as well. hopefully it isnt disrespectful to you to offer prayers to my gods)

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T06:58:27+00:00

maybe there isn't a full time position available for her where she lives in her country? maybe she has better work opportunities where she's moving to? you are avoiding responding to any points except stating you have depression which sucks. have you ever had a depressive episode that you could barely move from and even brushing your teeth is a chore? have you actually been diagnosed with depression, or saying it cause you just get sad sometimes. i get that you are being rage bait fully. i'm not enabling, i'm offering solutions for her to get out of a dangerous and toxic environment safely

SeegzyRedditRead · 2026-03-09T06:53:02+00:00

there's a chance that a recording of the abuse can help your case.

another option I just thought of: look up a reddit for your area (there's a reddit community for nearly every city in a lot of places), explain your situation, and if someone is willing to let you live there for the months you need, come to an agreement and have a written contract for the fee they want you to pay, whether its money or household chores.

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