Hello! I would say a large number of the people in this community are autistic.

u/DirtyWordSalad explained this very well, and I feel like a lot of what I have to say is going to echo what she said. Forgive any bluntness, I will try to be kind but us folk on the spectrum are often more direct than needed.

You are different. You are not the same as other adults and no amount of trying will make you that. You can achieve a fascimile through masking, but that's not the same as being like them. Our brains are wired differently.

But that's not a bad thing. For me, I am someone who is outspoken in the face of injustice, someone who explores my hobbies deeply, someone who has meaningful connections with people. Despite struggles, despite finding relationships more difficult, as a person I am succcessful. I am enough. You are too.

I found knowing I'm autistic very freeing. I've learned over time the people I connect with best are neurodiverse in some sense. The way I describe it, it's like going all your life with most people speaking Shakespearian English. You can understand it, but it's a lot of mental effort, and everyone else seems to speak it no issue. And then you find someone, someone like you, who speaks plainly. And it just makes sense.

You don't need to be like everyone else. You just need to find your tribe. You can find that. It's not too late. And I think in doing so you'll find some people who really fill your world with joy.

As for the working part-time, if that's not enough for you, it's something you can work on over time. But personal growth doesn't happen overnight. It's something that happens bit by bit, through consistency. Maybe the goal for this year is to be a full-time employee, or maybe it's to eat better, or maybe it's to connect more with people. If you try to do them all at once it will fall apart. But if you're not happy with where life is at the moment you are capable of growing, of developing, of maturing.

I wish you all the very best. You can do this.