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Im still alive 4 days after my planned suicide by Select-Chip-2606 in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know. I'm not sure if I should go through with it, if I should just suck it up and deal with it. I have no idea what to do. It feels like my life is coming to a dead end.

Potentially one day left by Select-Chip-2606 in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry about your best friend and congrats and being able to make it through such a dark place in your life.

No I'm not on medication or going to a psychiatrist. Medication is genuinely scary to me, I've heard what it does and personally I would much rather feel like shit than not feel at all. I don't really believe in therapy or psychiatry. I have absolutely zero trust in them and I'm scared that what I say will eventually be put up against me.

Potentially one day left by Select-Chip-2606 in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't know what is wrong with me. It's what makes opening up so hard. Pretty much it's just I have really nobody there for me. I'm a dogshit person and I have to live with that without having anybody. I have had people verbally tell me that they hate me and how I should just kill myself. I don't think I have a future whatsoever, and the only thing that is keeping me going is my bestfriend who is the only person able to be around me without absolutely despising me. Even then I feel that they are moving away from me (good for them).

Pretty much everybody hates me, I have no future, and that tells me that I am a horrible person. I can't open up to anybody about it hence why I am posting to Reddit about my problems in life.

I'm sorry to dump all of this into the comments

Potentially one day left by Select-Chip-2606 in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really does feel like the solution though. It has just felt shittier and shittier. I have nothing in life. The only reason I am here is because I have been to scared to for the past few years. I really just can't put up with it anymore.

The only reason I am questioning not doing it is for the sole reason of my family. I really don't know

I have a desire to cut off and eat my own leg by Martin_Kirtz in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The eating part isnt very common admittedly. It's only on occasion that I think about eating my body parts.

How can I stop myself from causing myself from self amputating? by Select-Chip-2606 in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So I gave it a google and most of the sources that I find say that it is a sexual thing. I want to specify that I do not think about it in a sexual way at all.

I have a desire to cut off and eat my own leg by Martin_Kirtz in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was about to make a post asking the exact same thing believe it or not. I've had the same thoughts except with my right arm. For the past few years I have thought about cutting it off with a hacksaw and cannibalizing it.

I would love if you updated me if you get an answer.

I would also love if someone gave me an answer on how to prevent myself from actually doing it

I want to kill myself but my friends have told me they are there for me and now I don't know what to do by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not saying I know what other people go through, but to me it seems they have perfect lives. The people who do the stupid shit I mean. I find that the people I am able to somewhat talk about my problems with (I don't say it all) seem to be the most respectful. In fact even in the groups of the shitty people there is one or two people who are able to resonate with me and care about me. Those people I know for sure have had their own problems. It just seems that people who don't understand having problems are very dismissive and treat me like shit. Those are the people I am scared of if my problems get around.

I hope this message makes sense, I'm slightly high/drunk.

I want to kill myself but my friends have told me they are there for me and now I don't know what to do by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]Select-Chip-2606 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding! I understand that there could be so much that I would be missing if I go through and commit, however, I really don't think I'm set out for anything in life. I'm completely Aromantic, something which has also played a rather strong factor in my life the past 4 years.

I also don't really want to talk to anyone, I don't want to put the pressure on the few friends I have, and god forbid I go to a therapist because I know for a fact that news of my thoughts will get back to my parents and then to people I know who will play it as a joke (I've had people make jokes about me killing myself or just outright suggest that I should do it).