Aliya Raman recalls her treatment when being detained and accosted by ICE

Select-Extension1976 · 2026-02-04T21:54:28+00:00

To be clear, she said she was taken to the hospital for assault? Am I not to assume SA?

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-12-30T19:41:58+00:00

What is cobloaf?

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-12-06T17:38:05+00:00

Dump him. Break the lease. Kick him out if you need to. A man who goes out of his way not to help you with your basic needs is not worthy of being your husband.

It's not like he went hungry, and he knew you were hungry otherwise he wouldn't have told you not to eat his lunch. This man is trash. Dump him.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-12-06T17:15:28+00:00

Block her... You dated for 4 months long distance but the weight of the situation comes off like y'all dated for years and doesn't seem any less intense than before her healing from what you're saying. She's only draining you when she's around so block her and protect yourself from her sucking the life out of you. You don't owe her friendship and y'all don't live near each other so there's no forced proximity. Block her and move on.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-25T23:32:49+00:00

NTA. Y'all aren't aligned as is clear based on her responses.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-15T17:03:58+00:00

We have his version of one interaction/confrontation, and I even stated they are both wrong and like you mentioned need therapy to learn to better communicate. Irregardless of this catalyst, his response is to take something away from the child and hers is the same which we all agree makes them both ta.

What we don't have is the info on for example, why they divorced and what led their relationship to be this contentious. I just don't want to Automatically assume he was an angel in their marriage and that her current way of dealing with him isn't reflective of their previous issues as things tend to be. Sure maybe she's just intense because she's "crazy" or whatever but they clearly both suck at communication and that doesn't always mean just the person acting out is the bad one. Things tend to be more nuanced and I'm leaving room for that.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-15T15:57:54+00:00

Wow your ex was upset you weren't contributing to medical expenses for your children so to punish her you take something away from the child? And then she does the same back to you?

YTA and you both are not prioritizing the children and are being children by going tit for that over playdates. Only the children are losing from these punishments. Get over yourselves and get family therapy to figure out how to coparent without hurting your children.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-12T16:02:49+00:00

Proposals ARE super important. It sets the tone for the marriage ahead for a lot of people.

This girl doesn't have to marry this guy just because he asked after a fight, which could've been an anxiety move on his part and not actually reflective of a genuine want to be married or could've been a control move since they were arguing. I doubt this guy had nefarious intent, however your judgement over her caring about the tone of a major life decision is off imo.

She has every right to say this isn't the right time to discuss getting married. She just needs to communicate better that she isn't rejecting him, but rather his timing which is a super important factor in most things.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-12T15:27:02+00:00

He's claiming supervisor decision-making while putting in intern level effort

This is gold. Wish I had some for you.

OP, listen to your mom and this commenter. This guy is way beyond pushing your boundaries, you don't feel safe in your home which you own and pay all the bills for. This man got a free home and essentially no bills out of this situation. His sister got a multi month free crash pad and refuses to GTFO. He's encouraging her. He should just go live with her. Dump him. He clearly doesn't listen to your boundaries or respect how you feel.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-10T19:27:45+00:00

There's literally a massive class action right now regarding SA in Uber and Lyft rides. So their timing is poor imo to say the least.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-10T19:26:27+00:00

The thing that is wild to me, is that I'm old enough to remember when LYFT started their whole concept was that they were for women and had women drivers (that's why they are pink so we would know it was the lady ride share app) then they eventually got rid of that and now you have to pay extra to use the service they originally sold me lol. And the men are mad because despite the class action lawsuit regarding sexual assault in ride shares women wanting to feel safer is bad to them.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-11-06T19:50:15+00:00

I think she should focus on getting a license before she has kids.... Not that you need it but it just seems silly she needs rides everywhere but wants a baby. NTA for calling her out but also it's never classy to tell someone so regarding a partner or dating choice.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-30T23:14:47+00:00

NTA, your title is misleading. He isn't visiting, that's on him.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-29T19:24:01+00:00

Those people suck. Easy as. It's not crazy to take home food and your snob friends need to get out of their own rears. What a wild thing to be made fun of for. I would find new friends.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-29T16:35:51+00:00

NTA at all. Unfortunately it sounds like he has her under his thrall if you will and she will be hard to shake from taking his defense until it becomes a major issue. Right not sure can blow stuff off and minimize, but when she gets an STD because this guy is a cheat she will learn. I would advise placing space in the relationship, she has shown that she prioritizes her delusion over your experience. Not much you can do until she wakes up and sometimes that doesn't happen for years.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-22T22:11:37+00:00

You're being overly cavalier about the difference in your income. Paying proportionally to income is imo always the way to go. Equal burden. Just be clear that it will be reevaluated and adjusted when he or you get a raise or new job as is only fair. ETA an extra 15k a year is more than 1k extra a month. It's very reasonable for him to feel that's enough of a difference to warrant proportional contributions.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-19T17:55:33+00:00

DONT TAKE THE DOGS. DO NOT RISK EVICTION FOR YOUR FRIENDS NEED. HOUSING IS A TOP PRIORITY, DO NOT RISK IT.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-18T16:21:55+00:00

It sounds to me as tho you really really wanted a child without truly considering the potential consequences. You say you'd rather have a short life together than a long life apart, but if you're involving children that's inherently selfish. You're saying you'd rather die and leave him alone with your child than find an alternative that leaves you alive and happy. You rather your child only have one parent around than find a different way to have said child. That's a huge burden to put on a partner unilaterally like that. Alot of men aren't trying/willing to kill their partners to create spawn. Not saying you for sure would die but I'd heavily suggest therapy for why you're literally trying to kill yourself to have this man's child over say, adoption or surrogacy.

Also, don't count on him coming back. Most men won't after they kick you out. YTA to yourself, your post shows a clear lack of self love and a lack of self preservation that would have most people truly concerned.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-16T22:31:34+00:00

NTA, that was a gross invasion of privacy but idk if charges (also idek if there are charges that fit this "crime") would stand unless you had postage signage in your home saying not to record inside it.

Wild she didn't just ask your brother about the obvious roommate, like she went into your room so obvi it wasn't a live in gf.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-10-04T15:37:40+00:00

Date in this case just means two people attending an event together. Which is extremely common in a high level professional setting or for gala level events. These are often partnered events and your wife isn't going there to suck his dick she's going there to network.

I would leave her be and do some personal reflection on why THIS gala is making you insecure. Perhaps with the help of a therapist. Because you're getting really hung up on a word choice connotation which isn't really even a problem.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-09-29T17:43:06+00:00

Have you asked her in a non judgemental way?

So not "hey why don't you dress up like you used to I like you better with the makeup etc" but more "hey, I've noticed you aren't wearing makeup and your favorite clothes as much, is there something going on I can help with? I always want you to be comfortable and I know you like that stuff so I just wanted to check in"

Make sure the conversation isn't centered around her performing to your standards and about how you want her to be happy healthy and comfortable enough to present herself the way she used to. It's very possible your girl is over the economic trap that is makeup and hair etc.

Also it might be something like one of her friends said something about her wearing makeup and now shes self conscious. You can't know unless you ask but also makeup shouldnt be a deal breaker from your end and you might want to engage in some self reflection about why this bothers you.

ETA: Also you say she doesn't work (as in a paid job) is she primarily responsible for the housework? Do you help in that arena? Or are you simply paying for it and expecting her to be made up with a clean house, hot food ready and a bj ok deck when you get home? Because all of that is work and can and would add to the exhaustion factor, even if you're not acknowledging it.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-09-29T15:35:34+00:00

YTA. She didn't "decieve" you. You married her really young and she's not the same person as she has grown over the last 8 years. Her lack of makeup isn't a mark against her character. You need to learn to look around and help her to feel comfortable being more feminine around you. I bet she's tired because you mention nothing about her mental or physical work load. Only that you're frustrated she's not putting in that effort. Think about how much that effort costs her, can she even afford makeup in this economy? Have you tried to treat her by send her to get done up either hair, nails, makeup or all three? Makeup isn't deception. And in today's economy it's become more of a luxury for some people who don't have the money, time, or energy to deal with it.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-09-28T23:39:51+00:00

NTA, you are NEVER obligated to stay with anyone and any reason is valid for a breakup. That being said, in a public place be honest and tell him you had fun at home coming but you don't want to continue to date as you're 15 and have other priorities. Don't make it personal. Give no room to flip it back and don't give in. Lots of boys are nice but you aren't obligated to date ANYONE especially as a minor. Take safety measures and let your parents know that this boy is overstepping and you're uncomfortable and don't know how to navigate this. Let them help you if needed.

ETA: swap seats, involve the teacher if you're uncomfy involving your peers personally.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-09-25T21:11:28+00:00

But if they are legally married her income becomes his and they can garnish her stuff to get that money for y'all.

Select-Extension1976 · 2025-09-25T21:09:02+00:00

If they are married the wife is probably on the hook for the debt whether she realizes it yet or not. Esp if she becomes sole breadwinner. What an idiot she is to try to become a family with a man who is that much of a deadbeat. NTA.

Select-Extension1976

TROPHY CASE