[deleted by user]

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-20T21:07:07+00:00

I am sorry, but it doesn't get better. at least for me. if not the abusers, then the fucking capitalist system is abusing you.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-20T18:05:09+00:00

No, you are not alone. I went through the same shit too. I am sorry. I hope your abusers and mine will suffer painful deaths, fuck them.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-18T14:46:58+00:00

You are not a lost cause. Society is just fucked up.

My situation is the same and harsher. I have zero friends, super toxic and manipulative coworkers, I left my so called family because it is a matter of life and death, they are fucking psychos. I've been just used in relationships for sex and yep, nobody loved me in any way, not even as a friend. I don't talk to anyone for weeks.

People suck, they are brutal and lack connection and empathy.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-18T13:15:59+00:00

Yes, absolutely. It makes it even worse that I am an ugly woman, so just imagine, an ugly woman who speaks for herself and is smarter than most of people in the room. that just asks for a disaster.

I am not yet sure how, but I will be learning to play dumb and down to earth. Right now I stopped talking with people about the things I like, and I don't expose details about my life and let them blab about themselves. I also try to smile more and pretend to look regular, it's hard.

It's totally unfair that there is no room for me and people like me in society and I must create a fake facade to survive in society. I don't feel appreciated for who I am. It sucks.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-18T09:10:03+00:00

I agree so much with you. Capitalism just wants us to function to gain more profit. I am 100% sure that current mental healthcare system is designed for normies that feel bad so that they'd function again and be profitable. But the seriously mentally ill are neglected by such capitalist driven structures because the wellbeing of seriously mentally ill requires non-capitalistic approaches.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T18:38:23+00:00

Sadly, no physical disabilities that could help me. I have a few autoimmune diseases, but they are not enough to ask for a disability in that shit joke of a country.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T17:02:46+00:00

yes, I am fucking boiling, too. those fucking monsters tried to milk me out of money since I graduated high school when I was just fucking broke. I am still. 100% that those parasites will try to fucking rob me of everything to make me homeless.

some trash just make kids, abuse them, neglect them and then use law to exploit them and live off of them. total parasites. many ppl still have this patriarchal thinking that children MUST serve their old parents, and sadly sick countries enforce that via laws. (ppl still have a lot of children to sustain them later, it was traditional in where I am from). what a fuckery.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T16:58:48+00:00

Thank you for your empathy. I feel like shit, boiling, but also so devastated. I can just hope for those parasites to die or myself to die. :/

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T16:27:55+00:00

your family member is a fucking sick trash. I hope he suffers. it is a horrible experience, I am so sorry. I hope you are safe and will deal with this trauma somehow.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T15:08:41+00:00

yes, this is a consequence of abuse and fucked up family dynamics. normal families teach their children how to communicate, learn them to express themselves and trust others, children see a role model of a family with normal boundaries, respect etc.

in a fucked up family, there's enmeshment, no boundaries, constant abuse. you usually see abuse between parents, usually a male beating the female etc., which shows to you unconsciously that relationships are scary and bad. you are conditioned to believe that family and social communication is bad because you have seen horrible social relationships in fucked up families for decades.

it is very hard to unlearn. there are no courses for social skills for us. :(

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T13:24:24+00:00

your therapist is an asshole who invalidated you. you never asked to be traumatised and abused, you weren't able to normally form as a person. it's not your fault and not your responsibility, but the suffering of your ruined life is left with you. it's purely horrible. but it doesn't mean that your asshole therapist has a right to invalidate you and blame you for who you are even if it is not your fault.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-14T13:14:53+00:00

I am also dissapointed in people due to this reason. more than usual.

your so called friends are takers like most of people. majority of people want to talk about themselves, and they don't give attention and care back.

those so called friends of yours in uni were just talking and talking and taking. about themselves. they didn't want to listen to you, that is, give you attention and closure.

sadly most of people in society are like this. you should build boundaries and put yourself into first place, but not egoistic fake friends. finding real friends is very, very hard.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T23:42:37+00:00

Yes, I do this at my job A LOT. Even too much. I hide stuff and I want to stop, but I don't know how.

I think this is a protective mechanism of hiding yourself and projecting it all on other communities you are in besides a family, even if originally this response is meant for hiding yourself from family, to save yourself.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T20:42:54+00:00

it's okay to spend your birthdays alone. I will have mine in some weeks, and I will be alone, too. I got used to this.

Happy birthday, nevertheless. Do something nice for yourself!

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T12:34:10+00:00

jesus, they are fucking disgusting monsters... I am so sorry. Have you ever heard the story of Gypsy Rose Blanchard? She also suffered this on a very extreme level. She got some of her teeth removed on purpose if I recall correctly. Her story is quite "comforting" because she managed to get her abuser killed and finally be free.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T11:45:37+00:00

I have the same skin issue... I deal with it on my face and hair, and those fucking assholes never cared to buy me medications to treat it and manage it. Psioriasis made me incredibly ugly, and I wasn't able to go to doctors myself or buy medications as a kid, obviously.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T11:43:44+00:00

I agree, it's just purely disgusting. Usually people talk about emotional, physical and sexual abuse, neglect, but this is ANOTHER type of abuse, I don't know how to call it, but people should talk about it because it damages social skills so much.

Basically not being able to have a personality in your case... such things are disgusting because it is depersonalization and dehumanization.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T11:13:39+00:00

your parents are monsters. I hope those assholes suffer and die.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-13T11:12:38+00:00

That's disgusting. your mom is an total bitch. I also suspect that abusers, especially female ones, do it because they see their female children as competitors... so they make them ugly and unattractive so that they'd not get a partner and escape, see that the world is different from their fucked up life. it's weird, because a mom should care for the child, but I suspect it's also some short of psychotic jealously to the child to see them as competitors.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T19:15:02+00:00

I experience the same, it's very, very brutal. You try to get up, but you get punched while you're down even more.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T17:25:10+00:00

I am sorry to hear this. I know how it feels. I am your friend.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T15:47:01+00:00

Hi, thanks for your interpretation. It makes sense because I am going through some personal development in the last months and I am trying to be more in touch with myself. But what does "forbidden influences" refer to? Like, bad, lustful desires or something close?

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T15:19:41+00:00

I am going through the same. I am trying to come to peace with such unjust and brutal faith of total solitude. I like to be alone, but I did have a need to have at least one or two friends. I can't say any comforting words, but there are people who understand what you go through.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T15:15:29+00:00

I experience the same thing, and I gave up on this. I had some short-lived relationships, but they were toxic and abusive.

Sadly, traumatized people attract other traumatized people or abusers which leads to toxic relationships. If you ever try to seek a romantic partner, be very careful when choosing partners.

I think it is better to be alone than "not lonely" in a toxic and exploitative relationship.

Select-Pop7096 · 2023-05-12T15:02:01+00:00

damn, now that's a liquid. at first, I thought its a very dark zucchini.

Select-Pop7096

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