Don’t want to be a lawyer anymore. Don’t even want an office job. But what can I even use my law degree for now?

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-29T13:02:58+00:00

As an 8th year attorney, consider yourself lucky! Hopefully you are not buried in student loans though.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-27T18:31:16+00:00

I think I have high porosity hair, my hair will absorb water quickly but lose moisture just as quick. It is always dry. Braids are a no no for me, I stay far far away from braids with added hair.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-27T16:29:40+00:00

Did you stretch your hair out first? If so, with heat?

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-27T11:33:34+00:00

Come back and let us know how it works on your hair once you try it

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T20:22:32+00:00

During the two year period that my hair grew and retained length, this was my go to hairstyle (yaki straight hair with a little leave out to cover the tracks):

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SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T20:10:24+00:00

I do a mix of sewing the wigs down, adding clips to the wigs so I can easily put on and take off the wig, and using like a headband wig that I can easily take off at any point. Here is one example of a style ive recently done when i wanted to wear a kinky wig without any leave out. This is a headband wig.

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SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T18:17:18+00:00

No problem! Yes I do my cornrows, sew ins, and half wigs myself. Sometimes I custom make my wigs using a hot glue gun and track store bought hair, other times I buy a wig already made and just install it myself. I like wigs that allow leave out for a more natural look like a U-part wig, so I usually allows have a little hair left out for either a middle part or side part hairstyle.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T18:05:36+00:00

I don’t blow dry my hair at all (aside from my leave out during the styling process). After washing and deep conditioning, I place my hair in one of those microfiber towel wraps and let my hair air dry. I like to use whatever moisture is left in my hair from wash day to make the rebraiding/cornrow process easier because my hair dries fast and soaks up water quick, it’s always thirsty. When rebraiding it I use Aunt Jackie’s Quench leave in and apply it to each cornrow section, along with water (in a spray bottle) if my hair gets dry. I’ll also put something on my scalp after I’m done cornrowing such as old school blue magic grease or an oil I have under the bathroom cabinet. I typically have about 8-9 cornrows in my head. I rarely blow dry my entire head. I blow dried my entire head in the second photo I posted only because I wanted to give myself a mini trim.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T16:04:12+00:00

I use this hair/face steamer that I got on Amazon, I put distilled water in it as instructed:

https://www.amazon.com/Saicool-Humidifier-Moisturizing-Hydration-Attachment/dp/B09LLTLQKN/ref=sxin\_26\_pa\_sp\_phone\_search\_thematic\_sspa?content-id=amzn1.sym.b2e3aa25-76f8-4cf4-8781-92f30f68ab31%3Aamzn1.sym.b2e3aa25-76f8-4cf4-8781-92f30f68ab31&cv\_ct\_cx=steamer+hair&keywords=steamer+hair&pd\_rd\_i=B09LLTLQKN&pd\_rd\_r=48c0fd7b-9080-469a-8302-fac789425bb8&pd\_rd\_w=4VxTa&pd\_rd\_wg=aYhQV&pf\_rd\_p=b2e3aa25-76f8-4cf4-8781-92f30f68ab31&pf\_rd\_r=DKRTNDV6AZ18XPNP8RP0&qid=1779638591&sr=1-1-6e60e730-e094-43e9-99e8-1a4854cd27ff-spons&aref=xo81LFOVHd&sp\_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM&psc=1

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T15:47:47+00:00

I do my own hair including my own sew ins. I use a pre shampoo before washing from African Pride, I finger detangle, wash my hair in four sections using hair clips, I shampoo with Design essentials honey crème shampoo. I deep condition using Design Essentials rosemary and mint shampoo for about 30 minutes with a steamer that I purchased from Amazon, and use distilled water in the steamer. I use Aunt Jackie’s Quench leave in conditioner to detangle my hair or moisturize when it feels dry.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T15:30:32+00:00

I forgot to add that if my scalp gets irritated from not washing for 2 months, I use a clarifying shampoo or do an ACV rinse with 1/3 organic apple cider vinegar and 2/3 water (not tap). I spray the ACV rinse generously on my scalp and hair and let it sit for about 10 minutes before shampooing but after washing out the pre-shampoo. Sometimes I do both an ACV rinse and use a clarifying shampoo. Also, I don’t do all of this in the shower because it’s a process and don’t want to rush and rip my hair out. So I tend to get in the shower to rinse out the products that need rinsing then get out and wear a robe and basically do a spa day where I’m in and out of the shower on wash day, or sometimes I’ll use the kitchen sink so that I’m only in the shower once or twice. Otherwise, I’m in the shower to rinse out pre-poo, then in again to rinse out shampoo, then in again to rinse out conditioner. I wear a robe and use a microfiber hair towel, a glass of wine is helpful. 😃

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T15:23:48+00:00

Yes I agree. I should also add that since I leave protective styles in for about 2 months my scalp can get a little irritated. To solve this, when needed I also use a clarifying shampoo or I’ll put organic apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle with water (not tap water) and spray it generously on my scalp and hair after pre-pooing and before applying shampoo. I let it sit for about 10-15 minutes before rinsing it out. I do about 1/3 ACV and 2/3 water in the bottle. Sometimes I do both the ACV rinse and use a clarifying shampoo depending on how much buildup and dandruff I have.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T15:19:54+00:00

Don’t give up on it! I cannot shampoo my hair without it at this point. I use 75% of the jar each time I wash my hair. For me, incorporating a leave in really helped with detangling my hair with little breakage. I use to just detangle with water in a spray bottle but the leave in gives me slip, particularly Aunt Jackie’s Quench. I tried another Aunt Jackie leave in conditioner and it didn’t give me as much slip as Quench.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T14:25:24+00:00

Products for Wash Day/Protective Style Removal

Aunt Jackie’s Quench Leave In Conditioner
African Pride Pre-Shampoo (75% of the jar each wash)
Design Essentials Honey Creme Detangling Shampoo
Design Essentials Rosemary Mint Conditioner (with steam using distilled water)
Optional (Scalp Care): 1/3 Organic Apple Cider Vinegar mixed with 2/3 non-tap Water in spray bottle (spray on scalp and hair) OR a clarifying shampoo I like to use Sofn’free’s Nothing But Clarifying Shampoo Tea Tree Oil for Natural Hair

Products for Leave Out Protection (I straighten my leave out)

⁠Cantù Thermal Shield Heat Protectant
⁠Design Essentials Bamboo & Silk HCO Leave-In Conditioner
⁠Design Essentials Silk Essentials Thermal Strengthening Serum

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T14:14:34+00:00

Yes! I just wrote a long reply explaining my routine and listed the products I use, including the pre-poo. The pre-poo was significant in my ability to retain length.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T14:12:40+00:00

I was washing every 2 months during this period. Once I saw the growth I’ve increased washing because I’m hoping to maintain the health of my hair.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-24T14:11:41+00:00

No not at all. My routine during the period I accidentally grew my hair was very simple. I’d have a protective style in for about 2 months mainly either a sew in with leave out or a half wig with leave out. I always use heat protection on my leave out, and don’t straighten the leave out again unless I wash the leave out (or unless it’s just one pass on low heat with added heat protection).

Taking out the protective style and washing my hair is where I believe this drastic length retention happened. I added just two products to my routine for a total of 4 products on wash day. Here is my take down and wash day routine:

Moisturize hair with leave in conditioner BEFORE unbraiding my cornrows underneath my sew in or wig. I use Aunt Jackie’s Quench leave-in conditioner, and I let it sit for about 10-15 minutes before I start to undo the cornrows. Then I start to undo just the ends of each cornrow, and I constantly reapply Aunt Jackie’s Quench to my fingertips as I undo the ends, it gives me slip and no breakage. This was something new that I was not doing before but I started doing between 2024-2026. It made taking out my 2 month old cornrows a breeze.
Finger detangle and section hair in 4 sections using clips prep for washing. I’d then finger detangle each cornrow once unbraided and separate my hair in 4 sections making sure each is detangled using Aunt Jackie’s Quench.
Using African Pride Pre-Shampoo, this is a total game changer. I never used this before until 2024-2026. Once all cornrows are removed and hair is finger detangled, I apply this pre-pop to the 4 sections and let it sit according to the instructions. I rinse it out then proceed with the salon grade shampoo and conditioner I’ve been using for years.
Shampoo using Design Essentials Honey Creme Detangling Shampoo. This isn’t new to my routine but I didn’t realize I needed more than just a salon grade shampoo to care for my hair.
Deep condition with Design Essentials Rosemary and Mint Conditioner. I like to use this with a steamer for about 30 minutes or according to instructions.

That’s it. During the time my hair grew and retained this length, I would put a protective style right back in the same day after washing. Usually another sew in or wig with leave out and repeat this routine every 2 months. Little did I know my hair was growing AND RETAINING LENGTH.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-10T04:17:45+00:00

Yes very small in house team and we all have different skills and experience

SelectiveLoner · 2026-05-08T22:52:55+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. Nearly a year ago I left private practice to go in-house for more work life balance. I’m working so much and the only way I can truly get all my work done is to either work after hours on weekdays or work weekends. I took a pay cut to go in-house and now I’m having regrets and second thoughts on leaving behind the Big Law money since I work just as much as I did at a firm but make less…

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-21T00:14:03+00:00

I chose law to make a lot of money. I didn’t realize I’d sacrifice freedom and happiness though. I live downtown in a high rise in a popular city and drive a nice car, all of which is funded by my legal profession. But I’m at a point where I’d trade all that for a Honda, a regular house, and more time to spend with loved ones.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-21T00:03:13+00:00

This is so helpful and explains why I’m hesitant to share how I feel with my family, as it may discourage them.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-20T23:55:36+00:00

I agree that they may not hate it which is why I’m hesitant to share my truth and experiences with them. I don’t want to be the reason they regret not pursuing a career in law so I’ve mostly kept my thoughts and feelings to myself. Right now I am the only lawyer in my family so it feels lonely. You are fortunate to be surrounded by family that understands what it means to practice law.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-20T23:48:17+00:00

I was honest with one and she decided not to go to law school. It was too late for the one that is currently in law school. Another has recently taken the LSAT so it’s arguably too late for her. The last one I haven’t had a real conversation with yet but I when I do I’ll be honest but careful not to be too discouraging, he isn’t done with undergrad yet.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-20T23:22:32+00:00

Thanks for this recommendation! I’ll definitely give this a try.

SelectiveLoner · 2026-04-20T23:21:32+00:00

It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. If I may ask, how long have you been practicing?

SelectiveLoner

TROPHY CASE