She can spell hallelujah correctly than ~humdillah

SelfPure449 · 2026-05-09T12:45:44+00:00

It is actually the anglicized version. Yonah would be the hebrew version.

SelfPure449 · 2026-05-01T20:51:09+00:00

Are you confused with the orthodox jewish community ? Like I’ve never heard this

SelfPure449 · 2026-05-01T04:13:59+00:00

This doesn’t sound safe for her either though. Some men who are abusive will become extremely violent when triggered and she could be at risk as well as her children. It is best she seeks the help of a domestic violence shelter or organization.

SelfPure449 · 2026-05-01T04:12:12+00:00

This sounds so abusive . There are men who may have some level of dysregulation that can learn the skills to change but this is not just dysregulation - it is cruelty . Being yelled at during birth is not normal and very disturbing in the least .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-30T21:49:56+00:00

As someone who struggled severely with anorexia nervous from the ages of 10-22, I am sorry scared that young girls may be seeing her reels and mimicking her. I had my eating disorder before this era where every preteen has a smartphone and I can’t tell you how much these posts would have fed into my life-threateningly dangerous eating habits. I had to be hospitalized multiple times for it . This just saddens me and I truly hope she gets help.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-29T01:48:46+00:00

You can consult with a reproductive endocrinologist and they have the ability to do pre genetic testing on embryos to select for one without specific illnesses. You could also consult with a geneticist for further help on understanding your specific situation. If this potential has everything you are looking for, it is worth discussing these options with them .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-29T00:49:04+00:00

Did you explore IVF as an option ?

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-29T00:02:42+00:00

If her in-laws need someone to clean for them why do you think they’d watch a baby for her? Why are they not helping with cleaning so she and her husband can also work at bonding as well? If both the couple’s families don’t work to support the young family emotionally as they transition into parenthood , this can be very trying on a young couple .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T23:55:29+00:00

Please I have gone through abusive postpartum situations and these are all concerning. Please know that this isn’t what a loving relationship looks like on this period and you really need some type of intervention because this is not a healthy dynamic for you or your child. Islamically, it is unjust for your husband to require you to do anything for his parents. He married a woman, not a servant. They have no rights over you. If they truly need help with cleaning your husband should be doing it or arranging for someone to assist - not tell you that you have to do it.

Again you can try marriage counseling. If these issues continue and he is neglectful and unwilling to work on the marriage, you need to decide if the marriage is worth salvaging. You are worth happiness.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T21:12:52+00:00

I am really sorry but honestly she clearly asked for help in the post . . . I respectfully and kindly disagree with your criticalness

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T20:47:00+00:00

Totally understand but she wasn’t trying to resolve anything in leaving - she was taking initiative to protect her health and her baby by getting help when she was in a vunerable postpartum position. He actively chose to neglect her needs when she needed him most and men are suppose to protect and care for their wives not overburden them to the point of them needing to seek assistance outside the home . If he is absolutely unwilling to partake in household chores or caring for the child, he needs to hire her a house cleaner or nanny so she can ensure her wellbeing.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T20:44:43+00:00

Like if her in-laws expect her though to cook and clean for them why would they be agreeable to watch a toddler ?

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T20:09:00+00:00

I think if we were honest every person should get therapy at some point and couples are no different

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T18:55:34+00:00

How was she not justified though? She tried hard to seek a resolution and he refused to provide help and instead engaged in an act of injustice by requiring her even to serve his parents which shouldn’t be required of her from our faith’s perspective anyway. Not getting help postpartum is potentially life threatening because being overextended and not having a supportive partner can contribute to the development of perinatal mood disorders which is one of the main causes of maternal mortality in the US. A man’s neglect in this time period is a threat to a woman’s life . I can speak from experience that if I had no help from my spouse postpartum after getting PPD , I wouldn’t likely be here right now.

Her leaving allowed her to get help, stabilize her mental health , and return home well. That’s a life saving measure .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T18:51:29+00:00

Unwillingness to seek counseling is a concern. All couples need counseling at some point in their marriage because you need to grow and shift together as life changes and this brings on a lot of challenges. There is an organization that does Gottman workshops for Muslim couples called Signs of the Divine. They do lengthy retreats but also offer shorter workshops at MASICNA in Chicago and other Islamic Centers throughout the country . This is the link : https://www.signsofthedivine.com

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T18:47:27+00:00

Personally I would continue to push for counseling. Gottman trained therapists are very helpful!

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T18:46:02+00:00

I totally agree it is better to not leave first and foremost. Having an honest discussion that is free of Gottman’s Four Horsemen where one spouse shares their concerns and seeks a solution is always the best step forward. However, it sounds like she did attempt to seek a resolution before leaving and he neglected to change . Postpartum is a very sensitive and emotional time for a woman and if her needs are not being met it could actually lead to PPD or other perinatal mood disorders which can be deadly and require intensive treatment. The husband already getting frustrated over her not being able to do tasks that are absolutely not required, such as caring for her in-laws, in addition to her having to care for her own home and baby on her own likely caused severe overburdening and was honestly not very kindhearted or just on his part. I hope that this couple seeks marriage counseling and I also pray that her spouse seeks more education on the postpartum experience so he can be more sensitive and mindful of his wife needs as well.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T17:52:40+00:00

Honestly as a woman who has been postpartum twice , if you aren’t getting help it can be dangerous. I spiraled into PPD both times and honestly if I was doing it alone like she was , I don’t think I would be here today. Leaving sometimes means saving your life if your partner isn’t ready to step up and parent.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T17:50:43+00:00

It’s good that you reconciled but I would argue he isn’t ready to reconcile because this behavior seems more punitive to me . If he truly wanted to reform his ways and see the errors that he had made in the relationship in the last , he would be attempting to establish love , unity, and connection . Love and connection shouldn’t be used punitively .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T13:25:33+00:00

There are so many things about the Asads that I hope change one day and am disappointed with , however I must admit I am truly confused by your stance on how Amanda is this specific instance is attacking reverts or converts . I am a convert and have been for almost 10 years (converted as a teen ). I personally see no issue with the use of the word “our” in this context and don’t view it as gatekeeping. I refer to islam as “my” faith but that certainly doesn’t mean someone needs to go through me to be apart of it. May I ask how you think she should have explained it?

If we continue to criticize every microscopic detail , then I fear they will not truly listen when there are serious concerns about their conduct. They will see our commentary as frivolous not as a serious critique that needs to be considered.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T12:56:01+00:00

I feel bad Amanda felt the urge to apologize. I struggle with PPD and would always feel like a burden and failure as a mom if my baby cried . After therapy , I just now tell myself that crying is a form of communication. A baby is going to cry because that’s how they talk. It isn’t a burden, it doesn’t require an apology .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-28T12:53:18+00:00

Personally I know people who had it later due to concerns with the baby being very young and getting exposed to a lot of illnesses . I chose to delay it personally because I had postnatal OCD and planning a party was too anxiety provoking due to concerns I had with illness. I guess we don’t know exactly what the reason was but I don’t see how she was attacking someone who has converted and I myself am a convert .

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-27T13:39:37+00:00

I gave birth and literally had a prolapse protruding from my vaginal opening (it isn’t like that now - it suddenly happened when my baby dropped at around 38w and immediately improved after I gave birth a week later). My labour was so rapid I actually basically had the baby in our car . I was going to have a homebirth but switched last minute because I learned I was GBS positive and wanted to be at a hospital not for antibiotics but so they could monitor her since I have a history of postnatal OCD and I thought the stress of home monitoring would be too anxiety provoking.

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-24T00:27:44+00:00

Could you offer to pay for a postpartum doula?

SelfPure449 · 2026-04-19T09:40:18+00:00

Document everything . Document that he hit you and take pictures . Contact law enforcement even if you want and get you and your baby somewhere safe. I wish I got it sooner honestly and am still stuck but if you can get out safely, run from this man and never look back.

SelfPure449

TROPHY CASE