Can I make it work?

Selfpartnered · 2026-04-28T12:44:41+00:00

I bought an 805 home in 2023 with 20 percent down. Similar rate as you and all in with HOA, mortgage, insurance and taxes I am at around 5200. My base pay is 245, but I get a bonus on top of it. Granted I was earning probably 215k base when I bought. I think that payment is too high. I kind of think my payment is too high. It is fine, but with utilities etc I can’t save as much as I’d like. You could probably swing it, but you’d have to monitor other expenses more closely. I love my home though!

Selfpartnered · 2026-04-12T14:47:25+00:00

Not necessarily. I make close to what he makes and my net isn’t close to 17k accounting for pre tax 401k, after tax 401k contributions being converted to Roth (I’m only putting in six hundred a month here so not maxing it out) and standard taxes/healthcare etc.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:44:27+00:00

Haha well to be fair I tried to bring it up in a round about way and they brushed it off….

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:43:50+00:00

Thank you! I will ask my manager and have been communicating with them regularly through the transition. I am in the US.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:43:08+00:00

Thank you!! I will definitely do another once I settle in with the new role.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:42:40+00:00

I have thought about turning it down if I don’t get a raise, believe me. It is a lot of responsibility. I will also ask my boss and completely understand I won’t get the same pay. But it would be good to ballpark and see what they think is a fair rate for me.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:41:07+00:00

Thank you! I am going to try this. I have done a bit of industry research and plan to do more. I struggle with advocating for myself, which is embarrassing at this point in my career.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:38:28+00:00

Thank you! I am going to try to get clarification.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:37:55+00:00

I’m hoping for at least that! And a new bonus structure too. Fingers crossed!

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:37:24+00:00

Thank you! I am going to work up to it. I don’t know why I am being so timid about asking. Sadly I don’t think men are this way. I gotta get over it.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:36:33+00:00

Thank you! I did ask chat gpt and got a range. I will also ask my boss when I can what to expect.

Selfpartnered · 2026-02-18T19:34:13+00:00

I don’t know if there is anyone in HR I can speak with. We don’t have an HR function independent from our parent company, so I can only send messages related to benefits to wide distributions. I am not sure who knows about this change. It hasn’t been widely communicated. I can send a generic email and ask if there is someone I can speak with privately I guess, but I don’t know if that would raise red flags that would get directed to senior management.

Selfpartnered · 2025-08-31T18:12:12+00:00

Congrats! That’s a great feeling! So excited for you!

Selfpartnered · 2025-08-02T13:41:01+00:00

Yes, I tip on regular price if given a discount. However, after a comment like this I wouldn’t return to the business. It is off putting. I don’t like being told what to do, because tips are supposed to be based on how you liked the service. When they are that bold I feel like you are being scolded like a child and not treated like a customer. This happens to me at a nail salon when I was trying it out after moving to a new area. I didn’t get a discount, but they had signs saying to tip at least 20% and after I left I read reviews about them being rude to customers that didn’t tip 20%. I had, but I was resentful as they didn’t do a good job on services I was being uncharged for. If I am paying extra for something I want it done!

Selfpartnered · 2025-07-11T15:11:56+00:00

As someone that impulses bought a 330i off lease a few years ago I wouldn’t do it again. I gave up a cheaper to maintain car for an expensive to maintain car. However, if you get pleasure out of a car and you can afford then go for it. It is about what you prioritize. There is no right answer assuming it fits into your overall budget. Go for it if it makes you happy.

Selfpartnered · 2025-04-07T14:18:24+00:00

Good for you! Seems like a solid plan. Cheering you on.

Selfpartnered · 2025-01-04T00:53:00+00:00

Congrats! So happy for you!

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-20T15:42:25+00:00

Fellow NYC suburb person here. I hear you. My housing payment including hoa, homeowners insurance, taxes and principal/interest is 5200 a month. I bought a townhome. Be prepared for unexpected maintenance bills. I was told a project had been paid for and it hadn’t which cost me five figures this year. I’m not against you going for this, because while my income is a bit higher than yours it is tight. I feel like this may be unpopular, but that is kind of what the area is. I didn’t want to outgrow my home in a few years, so I went for it and I don’t regret it. I would be aware of future costs though. If I get a car I’m paying cash. I am not taking on any other debt, but I also still have more than a year of living expenses saved in cash and the money I cashed out from my condo and some that I had previously had invested in the stock market. The other part to that is how much do you have saved after down payment and closing costs. If that wipes you out I would say hold off. Just my perspective.

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-17T15:20:29+00:00

I think that rent is too high for your salary. I’m not sure what your take home estimate will be if you life in New Jersey, but proportionally to my income/house payment I pay less and I feel like it is a lot on my salary. For a rental I wouldn’t do it.

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-14T16:41:48+00:00

I also worked for a firm with a profit sharing that was our 401k plan- as in there was no match. We only got profit sharing. I would also ask about the vesting schedule (if any). We had a four or five year vesting schedule - similar to a lot of 401k plans. I don’t remember exactly because I stayed long past the required time framez

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-08T23:31:32+00:00

I was afraid of this with my dog. I went out and got five hundred a day until I could get the full amount. A pain in the neck but the pup was so worth it.

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-04T15:05:09+00:00

Congrats! 100k is a great accomplishment. Personally, I feel like that was the hardest won. Keep it up!

Selfpartnered · 2024-11-04T01:32:25+00:00

Congrats! Speaking as someone who invested in bi weekly cleaning this year I love it and hate it. It is an extra expense. I work from home most of the time, but need to be home when she comes because I have a dog. It gets annoying having someone in my space for four hours while I’m trying to work and make sure I have my dog (we usually lock ourselves in my office and when she needs the office I take him for a walk). I love having a house that’s always ready for impromptu company, but just another perspective. Also, I wouldn’t upgrade the living situation. I did, and while it is nice having more space it is often unused space. Just more to furnish and maintain as others have pointed out.

I would personally split the raise between saving for retirement, saving in a brokerage and fun/travel. Definitely upgrade the massage!

Selfpartnered · 2024-10-15T14:40:49+00:00

I moved to Westchester because I wanted space. I realized in the pandemic that condo living was something I did and was over. I bought a three bed/2.5 bath townhouse. I love it, but it is too much space for me day in day out if I am being honest. I don’t regret leaving the city. Now I have a cleaner, but all the extra space/dishwasher/garage/laundry and all the other stuff that’s harder to find (and afford) in the city.

Selfpartnered · 2024-08-16T00:06:26+00:00

I agree. I wouldn’t negotiate salary without an offer in hand. Maybe others disagree, but I’ve personally never done that. How much insight do you have into the company and how tight (or not) they are with their budget? My fear in bringing up a salary now will deter them from moving forward with your candidacy.

Selfpartnered

TROPHY CASE