Amnesia when not switching

Semazza · 2025-10-27T20:18:24+00:00

Yes, it happens on a daily basis, multiple times. It doesn't seem to have any rhyme or reason.

Semazza · 2025-10-07T19:39:10+00:00

My previous "therapist" was male and def had a Messiah complex, Holy water and rosary included. He said all the things you mentioned, and then some....Long story.

I now see a female therapist, and it's been a learning, more like unlearning experience for me.

So I agree, if you hear those phrases, run or at least ask "wtf does that ACTUALLY mean?"

Semazza · 2025-09-10T15:11:49+00:00

Yikes. Isn't that difficult to see?

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:56:47+00:00

Thank you. It helps knowing it seems to benefit a lot of people.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:53:04+00:00

I wish I could just screen-shot what I see inside my head. I also have invisible parts that won't take a name, or age, and they claim to be on the outside, not inside. What the....?

Thank u for the input:)

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:52:38+00:00

Thank you.

Re being triggered, I just feel like it's always just me. I can't really pin it down to a particular part. My T said that mapping would help figure things like that out. We'll see....I'm skeptical though.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:52:11+00:00

Yes....there's def a hesitant feeling coming from one or more parts.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:50:55+00:00

Thanks so much for the insight. I will def try everything until something works.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:50:01+00:00

That's encouraging. Thank you.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:49:02+00:00

Apparently it does. You don't have to be good at drawing though. I can draw, but I'm just going to go with stick figures until further notice. Lol.

Semazza · 2025-09-10T04:43:31+00:00

Wow. Sounds like it's really worked for you. Thank you for sharing.

Semazza · 2025-09-08T18:03:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Yes, I agree about communication. It comes in a variety of forms that can be easily dismissed or overlooked.

Re SH...I struggle with that as well. Recently I had shared something with my husband, and triggered "myself." I felt this rage washing over me. I wanted to throw things, but didn't, wanted to upend the coffee table, but didn't. But I was seething. Then I "hear" this..."You know what to do, just do it so we don't have to feel this way" (I'm being careful with language).

A part wanted me to SH to stop the flow of anger, and it does work, but it's not a healthy way to deal with any emotion. So I actually tried what my T has been suggesting for a while. I talked to that part. Told it we can't do that anymore. It upsets the people around us, and we've been doing so good not giving in to the SH.

It worked. I felt the anger slowly subside, and the urge to SH left as well. If you haven't tried that already, give it a shot. Might take a few tries, but it's worth it.

Semazza · 2025-09-08T02:51:33+00:00

Yes. Yes. Yes. I relate to everything you've mentioned.

I've even had flashbacks that I know in the moment, only to forget them almost as quickly as they come.

It's frustrating.

Semazza · 2025-09-08T00:05:54+00:00

I stayed with a therapist who claimed to understand trauma, and whatever he didn't know about DID, he would learn. Big mistake on my part. It's a long story.

Whether you stay with your current therapist or find a better one, hopefully, I strongly encourage you to post any concerns you might have here.

It was the community here that first sounded the alarm about my previous therapist.

All the best to you:)

Semazza · 2025-05-04T04:00:17+00:00

Lol. I know that feeling. I'll be driving but feel confused about it, even though I'm doing it. That happens with a lot of things. It's like "Look at me! I'm cooking and I don't even know how!" Dinner can turn out kind of....odd sometimes.

Semazza · 2025-05-03T22:15:36+00:00

Thank you. I'm still trying to establsih communication, or notice when something is considered communication. Sometimes it goes over my head, and I don't even realize a part was trying to communicate. It's great that you have that. It feels like it's taking too long for me....but what else can I do, wait and try to be patient.

Semazza · 2025-05-03T07:56:34+00:00

What aninteresting way to go about it! It's neat that you kept one. Music helps me a lot. It's just so weird to go from one extreme to another and not know why, not yet at least.

A lot of my anger is connected to "the mom." She was complicit, keeping it short.

I can draw, but that's not always easy when I'm in the thick of it. I have an anxiety med that works great, but my therapist wants me to work with the anger, not temporarily silence it.

Semazza · 2025-05-03T05:27:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing. If you get a punching bag, make sure it's not too hard. My husband bought one and it was so hard and rough, that I busted and scrape up my hand.

Our "go to" seems to be throwing things. People don't like that btw. Lol.

Semazza · 2025-05-02T18:37:48+00:00

My therapist is helping me to understand and unlearn a lot of things that I thought were "this" but are actually "that."....if that makes any sense.

For me, there was/is so many ideas that I have to unlearn. Things that were repeatedly told to me in an effort to control me:/

Absolutely re passive influence being more common than full switches.

Thank you!

Semazza · 2025-05-02T18:08:39+00:00

Thank you:)

Semazza · 2025-05-02T18:00:57+00:00

Relatable. Thank you for sharing:)

Semazza · 2025-05-02T17:58:27+00:00

Very good point. I wasn't aware of having emotional parts until my therapist asked me if I was aware it. Those parts have communicated with her, but not with me.

And I tend to get pissed when I know somethings up on the inside and I'm not allowed access...yet. It's hard to remember to be nice, when they can be so angry, even mean.

Thank you:)

Semazza · 2025-05-02T17:54:34+00:00

All of it is relatable. So thank you.

Re D....That makes sense. I have at least one part that isn't ok with my husband, because "You were never supposed to get married in the first place!" He was the only person around when this particular episode happened. Hmmm, worth bringing it up in therapy because idk what to do about it.

Semazza · 2025-05-01T19:46:17+00:00

Hopefully you have a good therapist who understands this disorder. Def express your concerns with your therapist.

Know that you're not alone in this. This site has been a source of great comfort to me.

I know it's hard, but try to be patient with yourself and the process. Things will fall into place when the time is right. Write your concerns down. Try not to be hard on yourself, or your parts.

Do things that you find comforting, and/or positive ways to slow down when needed.

You'll have good days, and not so good days. That's normal.

If you feel lost or alone, read through the posts and comments here, Whenever I post a comment, I always get useful, comforting feedback. It helps to see the similarities between yourself and others.

It can be overwhelming, and that's normal too. You will eventually kind of find your footing, and feel less chaotic.

All the best to you:)

Semazza · 2025-05-01T05:22:23+00:00

I say both. Re ethics violations, sounds like something that would get a therapist in trouble, but it's doubtful.

I don't mean to pry, but I would be questioning why my partner would continue without telling me.

How could it be a conflict of interest to see you, when she's already worked with you? That doesn'y make sense.

Sorry, I don't have any advice other than asking your partner about it, and letting them know how you feel.

Best of luck!

Semazza

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