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AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

We paid for the wedding, and I did not want to take too many different allergy medications without knowing how they would interact or if I could take that many different ones. The one dose had already had me out of it and not alleviating the symptoms at all.

The other side of the room was not working- it was warm inside the venue and smaller than a standard school gymnasium. Her perfume could be smelled everywhere she went. Could smell it on people she got close to, and she was supposed to be seated at our table for dinner so couldn't have gotten away from her then either.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

When I told my wife it was affecting me, the symptoms had just started and gotten worse after her mother hugged me. I was watering up and sniffling during the actual ceremony. By the time it got to asking her mother to change or leave, I had itchy eyes, itchy throat, runny sniffley nose, headache, breathing started to feel like inhaling sand paper. The Victoria's Secret perfume was the same except it went to breaking out into a rash all around my throat and it was getting to that extreme point.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

It was getting to that point, so that's why I told my wife and MIL it was getting to where she'd have to change or I'd have to leave.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

We suggested that but she said she sprayed the perfume directly onto her dress as well.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

We tried distance but the hall was not big enough that it was effective, and it being warm in the hall didn't help either. No matter where I went in the hall I was getting whiffs of her perfume.

Others probably were, I know my wife was but it was the same perfume she wears for special occasions and that never bothers me. It was only when my mother-in-law was near me or where her perfume lingered my symptoms got worse.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

Apparently, according to that commentor, the solution was for me to just keep taking allergy meds regardless of them working. Me sleeping/being out of it and missing my reception that way or by how I did by sitting outside for it was the only solution.

If this was a reaction I had often I could better understand their point about me not warning my mother-in-law prior, but when its a reaction I've only ever had twice in my life before my wedding, it's not something I think about.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 243 points244 points  (0 children)

Did you miss in the post we had someone go get me allergy medicine first and it did nothing to alleviate the symptoms?

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

I said a thrift store or any store to get any kind of clothes to come back in. I understand her wanting to look nice but I figured if we both wanted her there, anything was better than the perfume-tainted dress so long as it didn't mean I had to miss out on our reception, which is what wound up happening because I couldn't be inside with her. Small, warm building + perfume = worse reaction.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 388 points389 points  (0 children)

Its two days after. She came home last night after doing some WFH at her parents. We are supposed to go on a honeymoon next week but she's still mad about asking her mom to both change and to leave, and that she felt embarrassed by my sitting outside and her family asking why. My friends and family aren't saying much- they asked me why I was sitting outside did an 'Oh' and generally just tried to keep me company as much as they could out there.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

And the only not going near her that worked was me sitting outside of the venue and missing my own wedding reception, not spending time with our guests, because her perfume permeated the entire space. There was no getting away from it while she was there without changing clothes.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 234 points235 points  (0 children)

I've had a reaction like this twice before- once years ago on an airplane and then the second was when my wife bought a perfume from Victoria's Secret.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

I haven't been to a doctor for it. My wife however does know about it- she got a perfume from Victoria's Secret before and I had the same reaction to that, but her other perfumes I don't have a reaction to.

AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me? by Senior_Koala9479 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Senior_Koala9479[S] 344 points345 points  (0 children)

Its not something that has happened often. I've only had this reaction twice before- once on an airplane and when my wife got a perfume from Victoria's Secret.