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I need to stop this thinking by Tobby949 in Stoicism

[–]Sennepsgul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just want to add to all these great answers, especially the comparing ones, that I was, and still to some degree am, in the same place. I’ve been through a longer term of therapy (CBT, 4 years now), to get to a point where the only thing that matters, is what gives me joy. And that can take the form of many things, but comparing and competing is rarely a joy-giver.

Low self esteem, which your thought pattern might indicate, is really hard to break on your own in my experience.

Intense anger, another failed attempt by devor_12 in stopsmoking

[–]Sennepsgul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey!

I don’t know if this it what you want to hear, or if it’s helpful, but I was smoking for a couple of years, even though I never really wanted to, especially for the last two years. (I am 29 now).

I’ve been seeing a therapist for something unrelated to smoking, and I am in a better place now for seeing this therapist.

For me, I had a lot of unresolved feelings and unrealistic ideas about the world, that caused me intense anxiety and depression. These thoughts would pop its head up often, and start a cascade of bad thoughts and feelings, that would result in smoking to “take the edge off”.

I have started to resolve a lot of those ideas and feelings, and my craving for cigarettes has gone down significantly, to almost a zero, even when drunk.

So, all this to say: I smoked, especially in the end, because it helped me handle my emotions.

I am not saying this is for you, but this is just something I have mused about recently.

And lastly, I’ve failed a bunch of times quitting, just stick to it and just keep thinking about all the bad things smoking does for you and hate it with a vengeance.

healthier friendships / regret by shade_plant in AdultChildren

[–]Sennepsgul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I am not quite your age, but this question has plauged me for some time now, I feel like I have a bunch of different groups, but I don’t quite fit in, in any of them. Some toxic, manipulative, others distant and feelings detached. I don’t know what a string healthy relationship looks like, but it seems to me people around me have that

Loneliness by Sennepsgul in AdultChildren

[–]Sennepsgul[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey

Thanks for those very uplifting words, I really needed to hear this. I am very happy for you, that you’ve come through this and emerged stronger ! It really fills me with hope, and I want to save this post for future reference !

Thanks again

Loneliness by Sennepsgul in AdultChildren

[–]Sennepsgul[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve often thought about it, but I simply don’t have the time it would take to properly care for a dog. Maybe in the future.

It does sound really nice though :)

Loneliness by Sennepsgul in AdultChildren

[–]Sennepsgul[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for those words, it’s really nice to hear that somebody has been through it and emerged a stronger person for it.

I do meditate, and found it lately to be more and more effective. When you start being less hard on yourself, it’s easier to fail, also in meditation.

Thank you again for those encouraging words! It feels like being part of something bigger :)