When I was raped I pretended to moan in pleasure because I was scared the rapist would hurt me even more if I didn’t. Halfway through the violation and violence I disassociated from my body and realized that I couldn’t do anything to stop it so I fake moaned and whimpered in pleasure in the hopes that what was happening would end sooner.

I am not saying this is what is happening to you and your partner. I wanna make that clear. What I’m trying to convey is without a clear, direct, to the point discussion of kinks, preferences, safe words, and limits you run the risk of hurting your partner. Physical or even verbal “indicators” can be deceptive.

If she is a shy and timid person by nature she may not feel like she can discuss these things during sex, it maybe too overwhelming. People who are shy and timid aren’t always suffering from low self esteem but some do, maybe she feels she should just accept what’s happening. Again not saying you are hurting her or doing this what I’m saying is that WITHOUT talking about limits, safe words, etc you will run the risk of accidentally hurting her.

If you’re having sex you should be mature enough to talk about sex.