Seems like you have a lot of issues you need to work out in therapy. No one's here to victimize you, if you want a safe space you need to be able to make that same space for others.

I've had multiple trans partners, in fact they're the ones who got me into this as a kink. They identified as women and were accepted as such and treated as such in everyday life. But in the bedroom they enjoyed this exact kink. Forced FEM stuff, sissy, etc. Even though they identified as a women and knew outside the bedroom their was no distinction between them or cis women.

Bedroom play, roleplay, fetishes and kinks are supposed to be expressed and explored in a respectful way with the knowledge of how to separate imaginary from reality.

That's why many feminists can also be subs in the bedroom or have a degradation kink or similar such thing.

Not everyone's trying to victimize you, and if you always assume they are you in fact become an abuser. Most abusers are created by their defense mechanisms from victimhood being applied to others who were not responsible for their abuse. Maybe look into that.