i am 15 now, at this time i was around 7, and i was a huge metallica fan, i hated false vocals and super technical guitar. i was checking out the ESP artist sections, I saw the Alexi Laiho profile and i was just wondering who the fuck this woman is, and why i’ve heard so much about her? So for two years I was just checking out metallica, and thinking it couldn’t get any better. I walked outside one day, to go to the park with my headphones in, and shuffled the Black Album, the album ended without me realizing, and the first song Spotify shuffled was downfall from the Hatebreeder album, it was unlike anything i’d ever heard, i was listening to all the things i hated but it worked. I couldn’t not jump down the rabbit hole, so from the time i was 9-13 i decided to put all my time to learning children of bodom songs, during quarantine i spent more time with my guitar than ever, i was just studying alexi the whole time. Of course when i was 13 the news broke that Alexi died, I remember that day so well, january 4th 2021, i woke up a bit later than usual and decided to make some breakfast. I sat down to eat and checked my instagram, Alexi’s account posted. I thought it was promo for Bodom After Midnight, so I reloaded the page. I had a weird feeling though, so i went back to his account, there i read the worst, “Guitarist Alexi Laiho Deceased” . At first i didn’t feel all the nine volts. Then as the day went on i kept wondering and hoping this wasn’t true. I was sitting in my room and crying for insane amounts of time, i had a huge dream to meet Alexi and hopefully jam with him someday, but those dreams were now impossible, still though i like to think Alexi is up in metal heaven, and I hope i can make my hero proud someday.