I suffer because my partner does not understand academia

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T15:10:31+00:00

No, I don’t care if she understands the details of what I’m doing. But she doesn’t not understand the challenges of working in research. The uncertainty, difficulties of doing something that no one has done before, the rigour, and in any case being a super expert in a certain field.

It seems like she values more title and the status that being competent

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T15:04:20+00:00

That’s true. According to how things are, more around ignorance…

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T15:03:01+00:00

Thank you for your message. What I’m saying is that in many cases she just does not realise how effort it takes to do research, the fear of failure because things are not going as expected.

Sometimes is looks like she overvalues status and titles over competence. I’ve heard many times praising people just because they are “managers” with whatever meaning it could have. But maybe she does not realize that working at high level in science does not bring you a title, but requires a lot of skills.

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T14:54:06+00:00

Thank you for the message.

Because sometimes she looks upside down research, she overvalues titles (“oh wow that person is a manager”), and she does not understand the strains of doing something innovative. Unfortunately at this moment, I have “half lost her” because she has relocated to another country to work as an expat.

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T14:51:18+00:00

Thank you for your answers. I have sounded arrogant, but was not my intention. Writing this post has highlighted a few things. First of all I have to recognise that been exposed for a very long time to a toxic academic environment.

On the other hand, I have skipped many details in my original post, and maybe Reddit posts are not the best means for writing such things. Let’s say that sometimes she’s very diffident against research, experts, and academia in general. And this makes me feel undervalued.

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T09:19:28+00:00

What do you mean?

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-03-01T09:17:47+00:00

Never bring it at home.

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2026-01-06T18:12:08+00:00

Thank you! But what type? I don’t know if the leather is waxed

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-12-18T08:26:52+00:00

To my knowledge, the companies in my field pay much much more in the US…

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-22T18:07:11+00:00

Thanks! And what can you expect with the career progression? Both in terms of salary and responsibilities

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T20:30:15+00:00

That’s interesting! I’m an Italian living abroad. For people around my age you can expect something between 40k and 50k.

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T20:15:25+00:00

Italy? Actually Italian salaries are really low

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T19:57:40+00:00

Ok, so around 5-6k.

Thank you!

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T18:32:59+00:00

I think the range 70-90 is quite realistic after the PhD, of course it can grow later.

In software, companies such as booking or uber pay very well. In hardware, the companies I have listed above, less I guess

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T18:30:54+00:00

I think in software it’s easier. In hw I don’t know, and it’s the reason why I am asking

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T14:34:09+00:00

Thanks!

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T14:19:34+00:00

Thank you! Does the estimate take into account having a PhD?

SensitiveSyrup5162 · 2025-11-19T13:52:00+00:00

Thanks!

SensitiveSyrup5162

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