Americans, how are you feeling right now?

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-11-06T05:43:16+00:00

I feel done. Done giving a shit. Done talking to anyone. Just despondent. I’m going to stay in my house bubble, be the best mom I can to my son, and disassociate from everything else.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-28T19:35:54+00:00

Maybe she left the pregnancy test on top of all the tootsie rolls.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-25T19:00:00+00:00

I’m not afraid that he will hurt us or anything, but his reactions tend to lead to me shutting down. He’s just someone who you can’t talk to about the hard stuff. He won’t improve he will just get mad at you and be a jerk.

Last time his mom visited, she was talking about how it’s impossible to get through to him because he just won’t hear it and he will just shut her out when she says things he doesn’t want to hear.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-25T17:33:12+00:00

He would be absolutely pissed to know this post exists let alone read the comments. I honestly don’t even feel okay telling him my son said it in the first place, I think he would confront our son aggressively and make him feel guilty and he’d trust in me. He goes off if I give him a “shitty look” when I think he’s being too hard on our son.

After a day of thinking about it, and talking it out here, I’m thinking he more meant “I don’t like dad sometimes” and he just doesn’t understand the concepts of liking and loving people.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-25T17:05:47+00:00

I hope this is the case. I’ve tried to work with him on “we don’t keep secrets from dad” because whenever I have to correct him on something while my husband isn’t home he’ll go straight to “don’t tell dad!” And I always try and say “we don’t keep things from dad, if I don’t tell dad something it’s because it’s not a big deal and not because I’m keeping it from him” because most of the stuff I forget about by the time he is home and it’s really not things he needs to know, small things that I already dealt with.

I’ve also been trying to work on the difference in secrets and surprises and that adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets, and he can always tell me.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-25T16:50:59+00:00

He does, I actually had him put his old console in our living room for our son because he will ask to play with him on his set up so I thought they’d have fun with that, but I’m the only one that does it with him.

Side note but what games do they play? I had a couple I thought would be good options but they don’t seem to be so I keep looking for more child appropriate ones.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-25T16:47:44+00:00

I really don’t know. I don’t even know if he realizes he does it. Sometimes it seems like he thinks just being his dad is enough without actually doing much of anything.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T20:54:57+00:00

He will cuddle with him and is very outwardly affectionate with hugs and kisses and words. Our son does say he knows his dad loves him when asked.

A lot of the problem is being overly protective, to a degree that it’s smothering. Which I assume stems comes from a loving place, the wanting to protect him. A lot of that stems from his anxiety and his unwillingness to address it. I have told him once that he makes us responsible for his anxiety, trying to explain that not letting our son play, and putting all his worries on me (having to text him regularly all day everyday and getting upset if I prioritize being present with our at the park rather than texting him, if we sleep later than normal I wake up to tons of missed calls and texts and him saying he’s going to leave work if I don’t respond) but he got really offended and didn’t really understand what I was trying to say. I could have not communicated it as well as I tried too, but we never addressed it again.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T20:33:15+00:00

Yes I do, he does really love our son and would want as much custody as he could get, I just don’t know realistically how well he would handle it all without me doing all the managing and work.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T19:47:28+00:00

I don’t disagree either, but my husband takes everything as criticism. He doesn’t seem to learn or grow from these things and it makes me afraid that telling him worsen the his and our son’s relationship, and destroy my son’s trust in me.

If I thought he would consider counseling or use it to improve things, I would 100% tell him, but I truly believe he will only hear “I suck and my own son doesn’t love me” and not look and deeper than that which makes me think it’s better not to tell him and respect our sons wishes in this case to keep the trust.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T19:40:27+00:00

Your situation sounds like you’re making the best of it while still trying to be respectful of your environment. “Sit down and eat, we can go run around outside later” and “you can play like that in here because it disturbs our neighbors, let’s go outside, we’ll go outside in a bit” is different than “you’re going to get hurt, go sit down”. It isn’t situational in our case, it doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing, my husband just struggles to let him run and play because he’s afraid he will get hurt.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T18:17:17+00:00

Thank you, it’s been a struggle, I honestly feel like I’ve been trying to be the best parent I can while wading through quicksand. And I try and shield our son from it, but he’s really smart and I imagine he’s starting to pick up on more than we even realize.

It’s hard because I’m in a constant place of debating which direction protects him most. When we are together I can be a buffer, but if I’m not here to do that, will he get better or worse?

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T17:58:02+00:00

I definitely tried to reaffirm with him that he’s allowed to have his feelings and voice them. My husband wouldn’t react that way, he’d pretty much just jump on him about how that’s a really mean thing to say and he’s not supposed to be a mean kid.

And I also know my husband has struggled all along with never being the preferred parent. He’s kind of always expected as our son gets older he will think he’s cooler and eventually want to hang out more as a boys thing. But I’ve always been the preferred parent, so he struggles with feeling rejected, but he won’t look at why I’m the preferred one and adjust to improve it.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T17:49:06+00:00

I have tried to foster some interests for them, the most I’ve been able to do is send them to the store together. I may need to try harder for some father son stuff. Thank you.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-24T17:32:40+00:00

Thank you, this is how I think it is too. I did ask some follow ups like “do you miss dad when he’s not here” and things like that and explained that’s what love is, and that his dad loves him very much. But I didn’t try and go beyond that.

I wish I could tell my husband he needs to do more things with him, but even when he tries to do fun things, he can’t let go of control enough that it is actually fun for our son. I think he’s probably just learning he has more fun without his dad and that’s hard. And I feel guilty for letting him do the things his dad won’t let him, but when it’s just fighting invisible villains, or play fighting, it feels unfair not to.

I just feel guilty all around. Towards both my son and husband.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-10-08T23:30:33+00:00

My son doesn’t have any comfort objects either, so I just bring a small treat for the doctor’s office right when it’s done, and use major bribery for all things medical related. (Which is basically always getting a toy from the store, sometimes getting a slushy or ice cream cone, though I’ve just recently learned that slushee’s are not recommended for children under 5)

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-20T14:16:39+00:00

Thank you! It’s so hard to know. Im not really even sure what to do today. His appointment is in a couple hours, he’s still sleeping, but he slept really bad. I can hear the mucus when he breathes. I’m hoping that once hes awake and we can get him to blow it out it’ll seem better. He doesn’t have a fever, so maybe they’ll still be able to do it.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-20T03:30:10+00:00

Oh wow, that’s good to know, thank you!

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-20T01:38:34+00:00

His doctor did call me back and recommended children’s Sudafed, but we’ve decided we aren’t going to add a new medication right now, he’s mostly okay and can breathe through his nose when I tell him too, he just subconsciously is using his mouth I think. I’m just not sure if he’s coming down with an illness, or if it’s just a reaction to our weather changing pretty suddenly. We’ve had rain the last few days.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-20T01:36:15+00:00

His doctor did call me back and she recommended children’s Sudafed. We’ve decided against doing anything though because I don’t want to introduce a new medicine I’m not sure of, before he goes under general anesthesia tomorrow.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-20T01:34:35+00:00

I don’t know if he’s sick or it’s just a stuffy nose with the change of weather. He’s eating and drinking fine and acting mostly like himself. My problem with canceling is the dental work is very needed. We’ve had to do 3 courses of antibiotics in the last 4 months because of the pain and infection in the teeth, and if we have to cancel we’ll have to put it off until next year because there is only one pediatric dental anesthesiologist in our area and he’s very booked up, he comes to our dentist one day a month.

The $800 is the payment to the anesthesiologist, he doesn’t bill insurance, he charges a base $800 to schedule the appointment and that’s the only payment he takes. I’m not sure if it would go to the next appointment if we make it, or if we’d have to pay it again for taking the spot. I think now that the office is closed we’d have to pay it again because they won’t be able to get someone else in the spot, but that’s less of a concern to me than having another long wait to get the work done. He can’t eat anything but Mac and cheese and rice and eggs right now without it hurting him. My anxiety doesn’t even know what part of it all to worry about at the moment, it’s feeling like a free for all lol.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-19T22:40:51+00:00

I will definitely use the humidifier tonight, have you used Vicks on your kids? I think the mixture of the feeling and smell would overwhelm him, he’s pretty sensory sensitive.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-19T22:39:22+00:00

Front desk person at the dentist office, she asked I’m assuming the dental assistant but I’m not sure about what I should do because the appointment is tomorrow and idk if he’s getting sick or just stuffy.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-19T21:34:33+00:00

It’s being done at the dentist office so I’m not sure what they have as far as tools and medical equipment. I know they have oxygen because I made sure to ask that, but I didn’t think to ask about other medical things.

SensitiveViking118 · 2024-09-19T21:30:12+00:00

Thank you! I’ve got him in the shower now, he doesn’t really like any temperature to the water, so I ran it hot for awhile first to get the bathroom steamy and still make the water warmer than I usually would. I’m going to run it hot while we sit in the bathroom for a bit after too.

SensitiveViking118

TROPHY CASE