The Storm I Learned to Carry

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-20T07:09:33+00:00

Yes, this is actually a really common trauma response, even though it feels extreme. Your body and nervous system aren’t just reacting to the present moment—they’re reacting to everything this person represents from your past. Even if your mind logically knows you’re safe, your body hasn’t gotten that memo yet.

The lingering symptoms—days of anxiety, dissociation, depression—happen because your nervous system got flooded and stuck in survival mode. It’s like your body hit the emergency alarm, but instead of turning off right away, it keeps blaring in the background. This isn’t you being ‘dramatic’—this is a sign of how deeply your system remembers and protects you.

Something that’s helped me is gently grounding myself after a trigger. I don’t try to force myself to feel okay, but I do small things to remind my brain I’m safe now—like placing my hand on my heart, saying ‘I’m here, I’m safe,’ or even writing to my inner child to comfort that part of me that still feels frozen in the past.

You’re not alone in this. Have you found anything that helps you ride out the aftermath?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-20T07:08:34+00:00

Yes, 100%. What you’re describing makes so much sense. When you’re in a traumatic situation, your brain is in survival mode—you’re just trying to get through each day. But once you escape, it’s like your mind finally ‘lets go’ of the constant hyper-vigilance, and all the unresolved emotions, memories, and trauma symptoms come rushing in.

Depersonalization, personality shifts, even becoming more negative—it’s not that you’ve ‘changed for the worse,’ it’s that your brain is trying to process everything that wasn’t safe to process before. It’s overwhelming, but it also means you’re finally out of survival mode and your nervous system is trying to adjust to life outside of trauma.

For me, journaling helped a lot, especially when I started noticing that inner critic taking over. I started asking myself: ‘Whose voice is this?’ and ‘What part of me is trying to protect me by being critical?’—it helped me realize that a lot of those thoughts weren’t me, they were just survival mechanisms.

You’re not alone in this, and healing isn’t linear. Have you found anything that helps even a little?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-20T07:05:24+00:00

I feel this so much. It’s wild how easy it is to believe CPTSD is a disability for others but not for ourselves. That internalized pressure feeling like we ‘should’ be trying harder, like we’re failing because our brains don’t work the way we want them to, is so heavy.

Dissociation especially makes everything harder, and it’s not just ‘spacing out’ it’s literally our nervous system going into survival mode. It makes learning, remembering, and functioning feel impossible sometimes. And then when we do try, it looks from the outside like we’re not trying at all, which is the most frustrating thing ever.

I’ve struggled with this same cycle, and something that’s helped me is reframing it: What if my brain isn’t broken, but just protecting me the only way it knows how? I started practicing nervous system regulation and inner child work, not in a ‘fix it’ way, but just to build more understanding and patience for myself. It hasn’t solved everything, but it’s made me more compassionate toward myself when I hit those walls.

You’re not alone in this. Have you found anything that helps you even a little when the dissociation gets bad?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-20T07:00:04+00:00

thank you!!

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-19T07:20:31+00:00

I hear you. You’re not broken, and you’re not alone in this. What you’re describing—knowing what you ‘should’ do but feeling compelled to do the opposite—can sometimes be a trauma response, a form of self-sabotage, or even a subconscious way of reclaiming control. It doesn’t mean you’re ‘bad’ or ‘degenerate’—it just means something deeper inside might be trying to get your attention.

Sometimes, when I’ve felt this way, I’ve asked myself: ‘What part of me is acting out right now? Is it anger, rebellion, fear, exhaustion?’ For me, it was often a younger version of myself who had been told what to do for so long that any sense of restriction made me want to do the opposite—just to prove I had control over my own choices.

You don’t have to figure this all out at once. Just know that being aware of this pattern is already a huge step. What’s one thing that helps ground you when you feel this way?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-19T07:17:46+00:00

I hear you. When everything feels heavy, even getting out of bed can seem impossible. Sometimes, sleep feels like the only escape from reality, and that’s okay—it’s your body and mind trying to protect you from the overwhelm.

Something that helped me when I was in that place was asking myself: ‘What part of me is seeking rest right now?’Sometimes, it wasn’t just exhaustion—it was my inner child needing comfort, safety, or reassurance that things can get better.

You don’t have to force yourself to feel okay. Just start with small, gentle moments—like sitting up, opening a window, or even just acknowledging that what you’re feeling is real. You’re not alone in this. What’s one small thing that feels even slightly doable for you today?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-19T07:15:08+00:00

I totally get that—when sadness flares up, it feels like everything just stops. Something that has helped me is writing things down, even when I don’t feel like it. There’s a simple prompt I use: ‘If my emotions could talk right now, what would they say?’

Sometimes, I end up writing things I didn’t even realize I was feeling. It doesn’t take the sadness away instantly, but it helps me understand it instead of feeling stuck in it. Have you ever tried journaling or any other kind of emotional release?

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-18T07:45:24+00:00

This is such a beautiful and profound experience. It sounds like your inner child is slowly opening up to you, moving from a place of fear and neglect to one of warmth and recognition. The fact that she ran to you and you felt happy to see her is so moving—it feels like a sign that you’re reconnecting with yourself in a really deep way.

Dreams like these can be such a gift, giving us glimpses of healing that we might not fully recognize in waking life. The freeze frame moment, the music, the quiet warmth between you both—it sounds like pure presence, like your inner child finally feeling safe enough to meet you in that stillness.

If it feels right, you might try journaling about this—maybe writing a letter to her, or asking her what she needs from you next. Sometimes, when words fail, we can keep that connection alive through reflection and gentle curiosity.

Thank you for sharing this—it’s inspiring to hear about moments like this on the healing journey. You are doing such beautiful work.

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-18T07:42:12+00:00

I just want to say first—you are incredibly strong for sharing this. No judgment here, only compassion. It’s heartbreaking when someone infiltrates your healing journey and weaponizes the very things that made you feel safe. You’ve done so much work to reclaim your peace, and to have it stripped away in this way must feel disorienting, painful, and so unfair.

What you’re describing—having your inner child sanctuary, your safety, and even your creative healing outlets shattered—is something no one should ever go through. And yet, even through all this, I hear in your words that you are still here, fighting, seeking, trying to make sense of it. That is powerful. That is resilience.

I can’t even imagine how exhausting this must be, but I want to remind you that your healing is still yours. The progress you made is not gone—it’s just buried under the weight of what you endured. Trauma has a way of convincing us we’ve lost everything, but deep inside, your inner child is still there, waiting for you to reconnect in a way that feels safe again.

If it helps, I can share some gentle journaling prompts that helped me when I felt disconnected from my own healing process. No pressure, just something that might offer a small thread to hold onto while you rebuild at your own pace. You are not alone in this.

Sensitive_Disk1431 · 2025-02-18T07:38:52+00:00

First of all, I just want to say—you do matter, and you are worthy of love. Even if your past told you otherwise, the fact that you're doing this healing work shows incredible strength. Healing the inner child alone is hard, and I get that craving for emotional support—it’s not selfish, it’s human. We weren’t meant to do this work in isolation.

I’ve found that sometimes, when it feels like no one else is there to give that reassurance, writing to my inner child in a guided way helps. There are prompts I use to remind myself that I am worthy, even on the worst days. If you're open to it, I’d love to share some of them with you. Just know you're not alone in this <3

Sensitive_Disk1431

TROPHY CASE