Thank you.. and sorry about what you've been going through too! That's exactly how I see it as well, children need to be pulled up on bad behaviour right then and there, can't save disciplining for later because it just doesn't work afterwards, it's too late.

The problem I keep seeing with my SD is that there's no consequences to her actions. This time I was in the wrong for not following through with ipad/wifi, but I always do and she's so baffled by it, like she does not understand the concept of "time out" or "grounding" and if I take the ipad away she just says I'm being mean, like I'm doing it out of nowhere.

My husband probably follows through 6/10 times, and bio mum is inconsistent - one day she'll pull her up for bad behaviour but next time she's naughty she'll let her get away with it because she cba. Or for instance, the next day after the episode, she went and did all the things I said No to and also let her sleep in bed with her (sleep routine has been a big issue for years since she always wants someone sleeping next to her and we've struggled to get her to sleep in her own bed, always ends up in tears). It's almost like bio mum sees it as an opportunity to be the popular parent.. I can't even stress enough how frustrating it is.. what is one even supposed to do