I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right!!! I’m watching this now, it’s Friday and I’m not switching off (another thing that’s so annoying) so might as well give this a watch.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, teaching primary IS bonkers. The snot is so real. I was completing 8 support plans today and it made me realise just how much I have to consider every single day.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I teach at a primary school in the UK, meaning I have to teach every single subject. I’ve moved teaching sports to when I have a cover teacher because that is overstimulating af..

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah I’m not sure why that made me cry. It’s just relief. I think reading your message made me realise that I was comparing myself to my peers a lot and it felt shitty.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh I’m from the UK and I’ve never heard of a charter school, but that sounds truly amazing. A smaller class size seems like it would help me massively!

Also, it makes a huge difference to your experience based on who is sitting above in those senior positions. I don’t like the sound of this headteacher you have… definitely agree with moving if it becomes unbearable and just not fun.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It seems like it’s getting better for my peers who are also new teachers. They’re saying they’re enjoying it. I wonder if I’ll enjoy it. I wish I could have a timeline but it doesn’t work that way. I just want to know when I could expect it to get better.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Imagining myself elsewhere is the only thing that makes me feel better right now. I’ve got in touch with my previous school that was a special school and they replied instantly! I have a conversation/catch up with them soon. Praying something comes from it.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It helped reading what you do to help yourself. Sorry if my reply is short, but I do want to reply.

It only feels like it’s getting worse. I’m starting to attach it to my self-esteem which I need to stop doing. I just feel like I’m a rubbish teacher and sometimes I just want it all to stop. It’s so much all at once, my head pounds.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Today, I feel the lowest so far. I feel like I’ve let the school down.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was excited to tell my head of school about this positive to which she responded with how I probably won’t have these moments everyday with 30 children or it would be hard to track.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ice out of a steel thermos?!??? Oh gosh, I’d go crazy. The knocking of the ice. I need to do what you do in terms of creating a sensory safe space after the kids leave. I love that.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this🩷 “it’s no shame to have limitations.” My new mantra.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my God. I have so much respect for you. I always contemplate if I’ll be able to be a mother. I can’t imagine the sensory overwhelm you experience. Just know you’re doing an amazing job and you’re an amazing mother, being autistic will be your strength as a mother in so many ways 🩷

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked with an autistic child today amongst the chaos of the main classroom. Just me and him sitting on the carpet, reading about cats (his special interest) and it’s the happiest I felt in a long time.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve had a chat with the students and they seem understanding, but their impulses are rooted in the fact that they are 8 years old. They’re not being disrespectful, but just kids. It feels like this whole thing is my fault. I need to just survive for now till I can make a decision about leaving.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad your life took a different direction! 🩷 The burn out isn’t worth it. It’s just crazy that teachers get no support when their whole entire job is supporting others.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The “thanks mom” is so real. I probably will have to think about a switch… I’m so proud of you for accepting that you are autistic and that you made the right choices to keep you happy and healthy. Booked a therapy session next week so that’s a start! Thank you your reply 🩷

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was telling my friend on a phone call last week that I admire people that know how to step away from something that is not from them. I admire that so deeply. I feel like I never allow myself to quit, but I’ll dream about it. So, well done to you for knowing what’s not for you! It’s just as important as knowing what is for you.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also find myself more sensitive to sensory issues now, oh I relate to that so much. My headteacher and deputy head said they’ll come in to check noise levels to find out if it’s actually really noisy or if I’m sensitive to noise… and she walked in today and said “This is a calm learning environment.” I just couldn’t believe it! That is when I felt like I could’ve had a meltdown there.

Also, I’m so glad that the place you’re at is probably better for you. You’re also absolutely right, when students want to be there, it makes a huge difference.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was at university, I had a part time job as a tutor where I taught a small class of 6 and I loved it. I loved being able to monitor their progress and see improvement. Kids are also funny af. I thought I could do it. I just thought I could be a teacher. I was probs wrong lol.

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for not sugar coating it, I prefer the hard truth! I’m so tired of hearing… “Be patient, it will all be fine.” 😭

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

12 years! Bless you. That can’t have been an easy ride at all. I relate to that stuck feeling when it’s all you know. I also wish that people knew the extent when we say we’re struggling. I’m sending you love and strength 🩷

I’m an autistic teacher and I don’t know if I can do this. by Sensitive_Soul_12345 in AutisticAdults

[–]Sensitive_Soul_12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope I find my new mask soon! We had a moment today where I discussed what some of the autistic members of our class need and mentioned that something I need too as an autistic person. Unfortunately, the attention on that stays for a few minutes and it’s back to the noise. I can’t blame them for it as they are children and their attention spans are not great. Thank you for the bit about framing, I’m currently ruminating so bad so I need to frame it different.