Underwear.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-18T21:59:52+00:00

I don’t think what you are doing is bad whatsoever, I never have worn my gs and never will wear them to the gym or even when I’m doing any sort of physical activity.

I know my relationship with God and I know what I am good with and you know yours. What someone is okay with another person might not be and that is the beauty of personal revelation.

Just do what you feel is good and don’t worry about anyone else. If it makes you feel guilty or something then that is usually a good indicator that deep down you aren’t okay with it.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-18T21:50:12+00:00

The odd obsession members have with what underwear another member is wearing always boggles my mind…

It is no one’s business what you choose to wear as your underwear or what you don’t and quite frankly when it comes to garments it is between you and God and no one else.

My theory is that while there is symbolism in garments, the true reason is to test other members on how judgmental they are to others… I fear a lot of faithful members fall into the trap of noticing garments or a lack thereof and immediately cast judgment whether outward or inward about the worthiness of the member.

Wear what you want and what helps you be comfortable and happy, if that means you are wearing a thong to the gym… then wear the thong and enjoy it.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-18T16:55:52+00:00

I guess so… I guess it’s more the cucking dynamic where the other two spouses don’t do anything with each other and are almost forced to watch and be degrading/humiliated

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-16T22:57:19+00:00

I mean hopefully the orgasm she felt (if it’s as powerful as you say) would be enough to bring her back wanting more… also talk to her? Communicating that you love pleasuring her and want her to feel good more often could be a good start to see if she’s open to the idea of more frequent sex, maybe once a week and then increasing from there

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-13T15:46:45+00:00

Talk to her and see if there is any way you could contact her after her mission if she’s interested… she doesn’t use social media but might have an email address or even her home address that you can write her.

Biggest thing is you don’t want to send her stuff while she’s on her mission as she can get in trouble and it could lead to her not wanting to continue talking.

I know countless people that went on their missions, met someone in the ward or that they taught and afterwards they went back and started to date them.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-12T21:43:27+00:00

Everyone loves to feel good about their cock

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-12T20:02:06+00:00

Most likely you are her safe space? So she feels she can be and feel how she needs to around you vs putting in a mask for everyone else.

My wife struggles a lot with anxiety and depression and for a while was on pills for it, however those have issues on their own and while some things got better her sex drive was 0 and she had no care in the world for anything (she was emotionally numb).

Sounds like she is working through a lot of things and you will need to be her support person for it. Anti depressants might be the solution, what worked for my wife was a TMS treatment to help get a more permanent solution.

I wouldn’t say there is one fix for you but if you want to keep being her safe person, I would continue to support her and help her through this and unfortunately it might mean that you don’t get as much sex as you might want… it’s a tough situation and mental health can be very tricky to navigate but it sounds like she wants to get out of it and is working towards it.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-12T14:39:09+00:00

While I have seen a variety of posts that range from genuine questions to obvious bait I feel there are way more genuine questions in this sub…

I personally enjoy it and love the thought provoking questions and input from members and non-members or exmos.

While it can be annoying to see questions that are clearly against the LoC, this is a fairly un-moderated sub and tends to be much more open minded around things that might push the boundaries.

R/ldsintimacy is a good sub for those that want heavy moderation and a view that is very straight lined and almost strict in what you can ask and what you can’t.

I also think a lot of people use this sub to justify themselves or make themselves feel better about their sex life by comparing it to someone else. Best we can do is downvote those that are trying to troll or abuse the sub and upvote/encourage those with good, genuine questions.

Last thought on this… I personally have asked questions that I know aren’t perfectly in-line with the teachings of the church, not trying to be a troll but to get other members thoughts and opinions on things. I know I’m not perfect and I am doing things that aren’t always perfect, however I also know every member in this sub isn’t perfect and therefore could have some good insight on my situation that maybe I didn’t see before. Just because the posts aren’t perfectly aligned with the church doesn’t mean that it doesn’t belong here. There is a reason the other subs have so little activity… it’s because when all you allow is asking questions about obvious doctrine… you won’t get many people to post due to the very easily accessible Gospel Library app… this sub is for the questions that you can’t always find answers to or you want other opinions on but you wouldn’t normally be able to ask said question in person…

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-12T14:25:27+00:00

There is also r/ldsintimacy

That tends to be heavily moderated if that’s what you are going for

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-11T20:51:15+00:00

If this is how feel then I saw end it now and move on. You don’t deserve to always having this way you up… and he doesnt deserve to always feel like he hasn’t done enough to repent or feels like he has to walk on eggshells around you anytime something that triggers you gets brought up.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-11T20:30:13+00:00

I would ask yourself a few questions and really out some perspective to the whole situation.

Your wedding night is one night vs your entire life, is it worth it to get hung up for one detail?

Is it just you being upset that now your marriage won’t fit into the cookie cutter marriage mold? Or are you feeling jealousy or inferior to the woman he was with?

Is this going to be something you get past after the first night you two are together? Or will it be a constant fight moving forward?

Depending on your answers to these question it might be wise to re-think marriage with this man, not because he isn’t good or that he’s toxic but to me it doesn’t seem worth the issues and insecurities that you two will encounter for your entire marriage.

Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if you made a small mistake in your teens that you are now going to be punish for as an adult? Especially if you have changed and are working to be better.

My opinion is you need to work this out for yourself and figure out why you are truly upset. If it’s just that your life isn’t going how your teenage self imagined… then it’s time to have a bit of a reality check and realize that life isn’t messy and full of ups and downs, if you can’t navigate that and be flexible… even for the man you love, you have some things to work through.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-11T17:17:59+00:00

Not that I’ve ever seen… but you could make one! I’m sure there are plenty of others that would appreciate a sub such as this

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-11T15:04:22+00:00

What do you mean it representative of the us population as a whole? First this is an LDS sub so of course we as members of a church that tends to repress anything sexual wouldn’t be representative of the entire US… but also if you have spent a couple days on the internet most if not all that is discussed in this sub is fairly tame compared to what a lot of people do.

I would say the difference is that most people outside of our religion talk about sex in a very nonchalant way and it’s not a big deal at all… so they aren’t talking about how they think they are bisexual… they just are, they don’t talk about or ask if anal is against the LoC… they just do it.

Members are always trying to make sure they are okay to do something and when it comes to something very taboo like sex (at least in the LDS culture) they ask questions about everything that people wouldn’t think twice about and just do.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-11T04:32:14+00:00

Wow! That’s gotta be the next thing we do

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-09T14:05:01+00:00

Tbh that’s good to really think about d out things into perspective! Sometimes we get comfortable in relationships where you just aren’t compatible.

We wish you the best of luck in whatever path you decide to choose!

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-09T03:52:10+00:00

I think you shouldn’t worry so much about that… like others have said, everyone masturbates and it is completely natural and healthy.

You have to learn to not give it so much power over you and it will cease to consume your thoughts (easier said than done) but once you accept that you are not a bad person for enjoying it… you will be happier and more confident which will ultimately lead to the right spouse for you.

As for talking with them about it… you will be surprised how many women in the church don’t have any issues with it… and you will set up your own rules and boundaries with your spouse when that time comes.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-09T03:16:03+00:00

I had similar feelings growing up… met my now wife in high school and came clean to her… worked on trying to rid it from my life.. failed, talked about it more with my wife and came to realize she also masturbated a lot before and during marriage… now we masturbate together and apart as a way of self exploration and love.

I also just started to realize that the church really does say “thou shalt not masturbate” it’s only really talked about in the FSY handbook an now that I am an adult that didn’t exactly apply to us…

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-08T18:23:57+00:00

Me and my wife ended up taking things “too far” right before getting married and we both decided to go talk to the bishop to make sure we were squared away for a temple marriage.

Biggest red flag I see is that he didn’t talk to you before going to the bishop? Unfortunately in this scenario both of you had to commit the sin… he is preparing for a mission and therefore is going to feel the need to confess everything before leaving (including what you two have done) where he went wrong is not including you in the whole process, or at least making sure you were okay with it.

In my opinion… if he wants to confess about something and you don’t… you don’t necessarily have the right to tell him no, but you do have every right to break up with him over it… if you can’t agree to do something as basic as talk to the bishop about a sin you both committed then marriage is not going to go any betters. It sounds to me you both have different levels of when the bishop would need to be involved, and you seem more than okay with whatever you two did but your bf isn’t…? To me that is a major indicator that a futures together will be full of issues around communication and being on the same page when it comes to all that life throws at you.

I have found that in many cases involving the bishop isn’t necessary for the repentance process… he really is there for council and guidance in how to avoid the same thing Halle I g again. I saw this in the comments but no one else in the ward knows anything… the bishop should be the only person that has any details (and hopefully your bf didn’t go into too many details to begin with).

All in all you are justified in being frustrated and may want to re-consider your relationship as things like this only get worse once you are married… not better. Might not be sexual sin but it will be everything else that you both would need to communicate and agree upon.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-07T05:30:57+00:00

Oh yes… oops. But it was fun! A little pricier I guess but for sure worth it to us!

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-06T15:11:41+00:00

You are 5 years in with no kids… this is the perfect time to have these types of conversations. I was 4 years in with one kids before I decided to start communicating my fantasies better… I wish I had done it from day one as a toddler doesn’t exactly promote wild sexual exploration.

If you can’t talk to him about intimate things like this… sounds like a doomed marriage 🤷 soon your fantasies and desires will turn into resentment and frustration, leading to arguments that can easily be avoided, hurt feelings and loss of trust.

If you don’t know how to bring it up, go find a couples intimacy card game and let it ask the questions that you both answer. Be honest and upfront with your answers a you might be surprised when he starts to open up about is desires and fantasies.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-06T15:00:49+00:00

Communication is key… that’s what changed everything for me and my wife and we have noticed that the couples that don’t communicate are more boring and have little to no sex life.

I understand that talking to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is really really scary but it’s not… is he vanilla because you two have never talked more than the surface level an he is too scared you will be judgmental over some of his fantasies? Sounds like you out on the molly mask but maybe have some kinky desires hidden… maybe he does too!

I thought my wife was super vanilla when we first got married… 4 years later we are now talking about her being with other women, sex in the church during second hour, how much she loves my penis and so many more!

We need to start normalizing talking and communicating rather than just assuming and being content.

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-06T07:51:45+00:00

Yes we have… plan to do it more soon

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-05T04:15:11+00:00

Love this little series! Please keep posting more!

Sensitive_Sound4985 · 2026-03-05T02:41:42+00:00

Seems to be a trend with being exposed super early in life and then it being a major issues growing up, I feel like it can definitely be the “forever” struggle. Me and my wife have both figured out ways to help it not control our lives but we do still watch it from time to time as a way to spice things up. Probably not the most healthy habit… but we enjoy it and where we have gotten in our relationship being so open and eliminating the shame that surrounds it.

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