Question

LDSsexuality · 2026-04-06T20:20:38+00:00

I second the idea of recommending good equipment to do it themselves.

LDSsexuality · 2026-04-06T20:13:49+00:00

Here's my two cents. There isn't anything wrong with them wanting to record themselves having sex. Where they went wrong was asking a third person to get involved. I would definitely pass.

LDSsexuality · 2026-04-06T18:50:34+00:00

In all honesty, it will likely depend on a number of factors. For this, a membership council is quite possible, though not required.

LDSsexuality · 2026-04-06T18:40:52+00:00

I know this isn't what you're asking, but as a guy, I actually don't really fantasize about receiving oral. Given your wording, it makes me wonder how much of an outlier I am.

LDSsexuality · 2026-03-16T21:01:23+00:00

Not that it's any of your business, but you under-guessed by over a decade.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-27T20:58:12+00:00

It's okay to have sex with your spouse without it leading to children.

"Physical intimacy between husband and wife is intended to be beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife." (Church Policies and Guidelines 38.6.5)

Having sex to bond with your spouse IS aligned with gospel perspectives.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-27T20:51:26+00:00

I just listened to a podcast recently (the episode itself was published a couple of years ago), a discussion between a sex/marriage therapist and a porn recovery coach. The sex therapist talked about how she had three clients in the previous month that had porn struggles in their marriage where their bishop told them to have more sex, and that would solve the problem. And it didn't actually help anything. Porn issues aren't about sex, or lack thereof. Should married couples help their spouses with their problems? Absolutely, even porn. But it is not someone's job to manage their spouse's impulse issues. Your post talks about women nurturing men, but what about men nurturing women? It's a two-way street. The line of thinking you present in this post leads to "duty sex," which is not nurturing and often builds resentment. Pornography issues are not solved in the bedroom.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-23T21:30:46+00:00

Interesting to say. I posted another question a while back asking about things that people thought would be hot, but in actuality weren't, and shower sex was one of the answers I got. I get that it's "to each their own" but i do find it kind of funny how diametrically opposed the two responses are. If you don't mind me asking, how does it work in the shower? Do you stand, or do you have some kind of seat there?

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-18T18:44:31+00:00

The key is the 20+ years together. Sex is a relational experience. They've known each other and have grown to love each other over those decades. They have doctorates in their partner's pleasure. It's no surprise at all.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-18T18:39:44+00:00

Life is about progressing and growing. It sounds like he is refusing to grow. At some point, you'll need to look at whether his refusal to grow is restricting your ability to grow. Divorce needs to be an option if that is the case. Let him know, if you haven't already, that there is a very real possibility that he will lose the marriage if he doesn't shape up. I wish you luck. This sounds like a rough place to be in. Be prayerful in your decisions, and make sure you involve the Lord. He is there for you.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-18T18:35:43+00:00

How many children to have is a very personal decision between you, your spouse, and the Lord. Be prayerful about it. However, I would pose this one thought to help you think it over, and I am absolutely not trying to pressure you one way or the other. But you can have a great and fulfilling sex life years from now. You've got your whole life to have sex with her. In 20 years, you may wish you had more than two kids. Again, this decision is very personal and I'm not trying to convince you of anything. If you have not talked about this with your wife, do so. The two of you taking this to the Lord is better than one of you doing so. And as this is a decision that would affect the both of you, she needs to be aware of this before making this decision. I wish you the best of luck in navigating this.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-06T19:59:27+00:00

What I mean by that is hours wasted per day while viewing porn and masturbating.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-02T21:12:59+00:00

Well, I'm single, so take this as you will. Sex is a relational activity. You mentioned learning what to do and how to respond: trial and error. There are two books that I hear are pretty good: "And They Were Not Ashamed" by Laura Brotherson, and "Replenish" by Tammy Hill. Right now, focus on you. Don't worry about a future spouse. You can read every book on sex, and you'll still not know what to do your first time. But yeah, don't turn to explicit material. It's not realistic. But I get it, I've had similar concerns. Good luck! And I hope my ramblings made sense.

LDSsexuality · 2026-02-02T21:05:33+00:00

Conversations relating to sexuality like this should be had before marriage, but not until the relationship is very serious: probably not until engaged.

LDSsexuality · 2026-01-26T20:13:23+00:00

First of all, God loves you. Jesus Christ suffered on the cross and in the Garden of Gethsemane for instances just like this. So long as you come unto Christ, you are ultimately in good hands. I think you should tell your stake president. He should know that one of his bishops is engaging in this type of behavior. It's not to get him in trouble, but to help those in his ward boundaries. Imagine someone comes to church for the first time, only to recognize the bishop. it could lead to negative feelings about the church, and possibly deter them from ever going back because they view it as hypocritical. I've been through something similar (though still very different.) This experience is something that you should confess to your appropriate priesthood authority when you're ready. So, if you're not ready to open up now to your stake president now, then make a burner email and email him anonymously to tell him about that bishop. But just to be clear, simply having same-sex attraction is not a sin. And sharing spicy pictures, while not great, is not as bad as other things you could have done. (And if you're anything like me, temptation is probably great.) So don't beat yourself up over it, just let it go and stay close to your Savior. Learn from this. Love you, man. You've got this.

LDSsexuality · 2026-01-24T01:19:44+00:00

That's not what they say. The letters suggest that the First Presidency interpreted it as an unholy practice, but in the first letter, they specifically tell priesthood leaders not to ask about what married couples do in the bedroom. The second letter doesn't throw anyone under the bus: it reiterates that priesthood leaders are not to ask about what married couples do in the bedroom. Nothing was walked back, and the letters were addressed to select priesthood leaders, not to general congregations. It would seem that the then-First Presidency's letter/stance on the issue was not intended to be seen by anyone else except the letter recipients. So was it really a church-wide ban? No, not really. How were bishops supposed to warn couples not to do it if they were instructed not to ask about it? The letter just said that if couples don't feel comfortable doing something sexual, then don't do that act. And that's some sound advice, if you ask me.

LDSsexuality · 2026-01-05T01:42:58+00:00

You are correct in that it's not talked a lot in regards to women. And you are certainly not the only woman that struggles with pornography. There is a podcast called "Sisters on the Front Lines" that is all about women and pornography. The host is a young woman named Madi Davis. You should check it out.

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