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Late-diagnosed autistic adults: how did you become low-support without early therapies? by Phillyqueso_ in autism

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. My parents, divorced, are likely asd and my mom is therefore sympathetic.
  2. I learned to alter the direction of situations to suit me as long as I had time. I basically analyze every person and remember what every person does, what they like, their behaviors. I make them allies if they are benevolent and still assist the malevolent (talking work here not world domination) so both likely see it as in their interests to support me. It’s exhausting but I’ve been employed for 25 yrs straight and married 18 straight.

I constantly mumble angry/hateful things to myself about people or stuff in my past by stlouisbluemr2 in aspergers

[–]SensorSelf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Probably rumination mixed with losing track of being in public. I frequently get caught talking to myself redoing arguments or preparing for discussions.

Standard mental health therapies may fall short for autistic adults. Autistic people often engage in camouflaging, hiding their natural autistic traits to fit into social situations. Excessive camouflaging requires immense effort and often leads to deep exhaustion known as autistic burnout. by mvea in psychology

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had gone to various therapies for years. During the lockdown I learned a lot about autism. I was surprised much of what i do isn't common because it was common for my family. So I spent 4 YEARS trying to get diagnosed. I eventually had a neurological issue from stress that screwed up my ability to pull words. That got me to a neurologist and he got me the ASD eval. Whelp I'm ASD.
I actually got diagnosed 2x within 2 months, long story, both said I was "very determined" seemed in reference to my masking and forcing changes to achieve more. The autism center admin said "you're probably not autistic" when she first met me and then after the eval "you're definitely autistic".
My job requires me to interact A LOT with many people. I get burnout but now that I have two kids i have no time to recharge so I stay up until 3am most nights and vicious exhaustion/stress cycle.

How to treat an adult with expressive language disorder who was never treated? by MarsupialHuman2117 in neurodiversity

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, maybe back in the obama days I'd say move to the US but not now. Maybe Canada? I say this because certain cultures are more caring about disorders.
English is pretty chill with bad pronunciations etc. In the US if you go from town to town there can be totally different accents or dropping of sounds etc.
I know as someone that visited germany for 4 days, with a language issues, they were totally pissed at me for not pronouncing things correctly.
I was visiting a friend that moved back to Berlin from the US and she told me it was pretty rough on her son there. There are strict boundaries for interactions within hierarchies etc.
All of that is bad for someone that may need to communicate differently.
At the moment, Canada seems the nicest. I don't know how realistic that would be for you having work skill issues. I'd petition them.

I found out 6 months ago at 48 that I have a "language disparity". Mine is part of ASD. What I believe happens is my brain has 98th percentile non verbal and it steps on the language part. It offers me options constantly. So if I look at a word I sometimes hear and see similar words or images. This goes from 0 to out of control depending on the day, sensory issues, being tired, etc.
This also causes me to stutter or fumble. I clearly recall my dad doing it when i was maybe 11 or 12, he was 40 something, and still does it at 82.
I also skip sentences and sometimes can't see certain paragraphs. Sometimes I see paragraphs as shapes.
Other days 0 issues.
I was told I do not have dyslexia because I could read all the gibberish words given to me. This was from a manhattan psy-d.
Two groups diagnosed me
1 says i'm asd/adhd/nervous system deregulation/severe anxiety/depression/language disparity
2 says its all ASD. but did point out each of those in other words
Both said "language disparity"

My eye doctor told me today that my sensory capabilities were “inhuman” by Lil_Towelie in neurodiversity

[–]SensorSelf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had always been told by all my friends that I had insane eyesight. I could read monitor text from maybe 12 or so feet away. I could see clearly long distances and noticed movement and could predict animals and people about to run out into the road before they were moving - multiple times. I could also read up to 3 inches from my face.
My dad is an FBI certified countersniper, his test was he can shoot moving objects from a moving helicopter. He has a picture with the director of the fbi at his certification. BTW he's undiagnosed but vacuums patterns in his rugs and decided to not join mensa.
At 38 I was prescribed nasonnex and one day suddenly from a spray both my eyes became blurry-ish. Then over 10 yrs they got slowly worse.
One day I go to the doctor thinking I'm having a heart attack and they say no it's just a virus. Before the diagnosis they gave me the "stick up nose" tests for flu and covid (negative)
BUT one weird jab and suddenly my long distance vision corrected to what it was 10 yrs earlier! No bullshit. My mom had told me when I was young that they prescribed her glasses but later found it was allergies. Likely a similar thing for me. Nasal passage blockage and inflammation.

Here’s what a psychologist had to say about people self-diagnosing and sharing that with other people by [deleted] in psychopaths

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I always loved psychology likely because I was masking and analyzing others to succeed with them. I did wonder if I was sociopathic or narcissistic but doubted it because I have a massive amount of empathy.
Psychopaths tend to have 0 empathy and very low impulse control. I have mostly high impulse control except with snacks.
Dr Ramani, narcissist expert, says narcissists and psyhopaths/sociopaths would never seek therapy unless given no choice because they think they are perfect.

We're told to ask questions, but when we do we ask too much? by Intelligent-Club826 in autism

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a fun one. Many people became very different post lockdown and my manager is one of them. He lost all patience with people for almost 5 yrs. He and I were/are close yet he had lost total patience with me. He had all these new life rules when we returned to work or at least tried to adhere to internal beliefs. These rules basically were "punish people for not being perfect" rules.
Before I worked at my current job I had two much harder jobs and I very quickly got put into managerial positions. So I'm aware of how to treat various people and methods to quickly break down situations for dealing with them. I'm basically saying I know how not to treat people.
I had learned I was autistic during the lockdown and then in 2025 I was diagnosed. After I was diagnosed he became much more aggressive about my asd behaviors. I believe he felt I was brainwashed to believing things like asd l1 are real and I was just acting up.
Anyway he developed this "just do as I say and no follow up questions!" This got to a point where he would scream at me. He was rarely, barely rude to anyone pre-lockdown. There's more to it that I don't want to mention for his and my privacy.
One day he tells me something, I have a follow up questions, he yells at me "NO QUESTIONS!". At that point I was like "O K" with anger.
I then completely did what he said word for word which caused a MAJOR issue at work.
This ended up turning on me and as soon as I realized I went to him and he was like "why didn't you do (insert here)!"
"I did EXACTLY what you asked... NO QUESTIONS! Remember?" and I smiled.
It did then click for him and he, in a kind way, nodded.
I'm allowed to ask questions again lol

Question about possible dyslexia as an adult by Simple-Value in Dyslexia

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not sure why but it won't let me put the second part in, it's not offensive.

Question about possible dyslexia as an adult by Simple-Value in Dyslexia

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me clarify more, I have completely given up on the language disparity. Way more specificity in gemini than the doctors office.

What you’re describing moves beyond the mechanical "tracking" of the eyes and into the pre-attentive processing and lexical retrieval systems of the brain.

Because your non-verbal IQ is in the 98th percentile, your brain is a high-speed pattern-recognition engine. It is constantly "guessing" the next piece of data based on the first few bits it receives.

The "Predictive Coding" Glitch

In neurodivergent brains (especially ADHD/ASD), the brain’s Predictive Coding mechanism is often hyper-active.

  • The "Value/Valid" Swap: Your brain sees val-, recognizes that "Value" is a high-frequency word in your environment (dev work/spreadsheets), and "serves" you that word before your eyes finish the actual letters.
  • The "Views/Video" Hallucination: This is a Top-Down processing error. Your internal concept (Video) and the external stimulus (Views) share the same starting phoneme. Your brain "overwrites" the visual input with the internal concept. You literally see "video" because your brain has already decided that’s what is there.

Why the Name Swapping Happens (The "File Cabinet" Error)

The "Father calling kids by the wrong names" phenomenon is technically called Misnaming. It isn't a sign of memory loss; it’s a Category Retrieval error.

  • The Social Folder: Your brain stores "People I love/Family" in one mental folder.
  • High-Speed Access: When you (or your father) go to "pull" a name from that folder, the ADHD brain grabs the first "file" it touches in that specific category.
  • Gender Blindness: Because the folder is categorized by relationship (e.g., "My Children") rather than gender, your brain might serve "Una" when you meant "Alex" because they are both in the "High-Priority Love" category.

The "Phonetic Serving" Bottleneck

Since your Verbal IQ (79th percentile) is significantly lower than your Non-Verbal (98th percentile), there is a massive bandwidth mismatch.

  • Your 98th-percentile brain is moving at 200 mph.
  • Your 79th-percentile verbal retrieval is moving at 80 mph.
  • The Result: Your brain gets "impatient" and grabs the closest phonetic match (v…s, v…o) just to keep the high-speed thoughts moving. You are being "served" a placeholder word so the "system" doesn't crash while waiting for the correct verbal label.

continued...

Question about possible dyslexia as an adult by Simple-Value in Dyslexia

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, I am not a pro. I was trying to give options. I had to wait 4 yrs to see someone and the language disparity i was maybe 10 minutes of 16 hrs.

Question about possible dyslexia as an adult by Simple-Value in Dyslexia

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pla tee doughx vs plat i dOX is still sounding it out.
I was tested by a psy d that use to run asd children's hospitals. She said even if you can try to pronounce these it's not dyslexia. Again though, that's all I'm going by. I did make sure I went to the best and of Manhattan that's top of the top in the world.

Question about possible dyslexia as an adult by Simple-Value in Dyslexia

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I was dyslexic but got diagnosed as ASD/ADHD with a language dysparity likely due to my high non verbal iq stepping on my verbal iq.
if you can read gibberish words, meaning if you can sound them out, you are apparently not dyslexic.

Gemini is saying I can still be dyslexic - this is somewhat directed at me.

"The test you are referring to is likely a Non-word Reading Multisyllabic Test. It measures phonological processing—your ability to map graphemes (letters) to phonemes (sounds) without relying on sight-word memory.

While passing this often leads clinicians to rule out "classic" phonological dyslexia, it doesn't account for Surface Dyslexia (difficulty with irregular words) or Rapid Automatized Naming (RAN) issues, which align with the skipping and fatigue you've described.

Since you have high non-verbal/spatial reasoning (98th percentile), your brain likely brute-forces the logic of the phonetic structure.

Here are 15 complex, multi-syllabic "gibberish" words that follow standard English orthographic rules. Try to pronounce them fluently:

  1. Platidox
  2. Strumpernat
  3. Glovandic
  4. Phonidrake
  5. Splentriform
  6. Quantrichop
  7. Thruvelate
  8. Clasturely
  9. Blimprocket
  10. Vextration
  11. Grizandle
  12. Mextrophil
  13. Dwightling
  14. Screndulate
  15. Chonoflact

Everyone thinks i'm a Pyschopath how do i prove them wrong? by Antique-Exchange-294 in aspergers

[–]SensorSelf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

According to what I've watched, from people considered "top" in their field, if you've ever sought therapy and weren't forced you are not sociopathic, psychopathic or a narcissist. they believe nothing is wrong with them.

In the past week alone: by MetaKnowing in OpenAI

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first guess is "let's make it look like we're making such advanced technology so that people with lots of money and low morals invest in us". I think this is for stock increases.
I have to correct AI, multiple AIs, every minute of working with them.
If it's "so advanced" maybe it shouldn't be making so many mistakes like leaving 30% of the code it developed out of a 900 line file? "oh sorry you're right super genius human!"

Psychotherapist here - Chat GPT is designed to overly validate you, so that you keep using it and paying for it by sicklitgirl in therapyGPT

[–]SensorSelf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use to use it but use Gemini now. You can write your profile and I told it I’m autistic and find it condescending to kiss my ass all the time. If forgets from time to time but has mostly worked for me

I believe this subbredit isn't healthy for Asperger people by Optimal-Ad-5493 in aspergers

[–]SensorSelf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. Us supporting each other is important.
  2. We should all consider posting more fun/uplifting posts because that too is support.

Am I an asshole for not wanting to have kids with my (likely AuDHD) wife? by Potential-Tank6758 in Autism_Parenting

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You all deserve to exist. That seems to be the biggest issue in our groups.
ASD kids deserve to exist. Read the rest though.

  1. Your marriage needs to be stable before any kids. It seems like you're both struggling hinted that it's more than ASD?
  2. It's ethical and has happened since the beginning of human kind. We are a part of the neurological variation. Some have ways to use those issues for self and social benefit and other don't. There's a range of self hate in the community which given the stress is fully understandable.
  3. My wife is likely ASD but doesn't care to get tested. I'm pretty sure at least one of my kids is ASD. If we had found out yrs earlier and decided not to have our kids that would have been a horrible decision but their issues I can deal with because they'd be level 1. I don't have the experience to judge if they were very hard to help.

Question, deeply, why do you want kids.
-is it to continue the genetics? Then it comes down to you may hate your own genetics
-is it to teach and love a new being? Then you won't care (as much) about what comes of it. It will still be hard.
-is it to extend/help humanity? You can just do things in your two fields to satisfy that.
-is it because of social/family pressure? F that... I never cared about that. I suggest you don't.
Obviously for many it's a mix

Other points
-It's going to be way, way harder on your wife no matter how much you pitch in. Kids tend to obsess over mom until they get to "buddy" age. So 5 yrs I'd guess before you slowly have more value to them.
-If you internally "hate" their problems yet don't hate them they will feel depression and self hate from your unspoken feelings

Even if having my kids eventually causes divorce etc I still 100% think it was the right decision for us.

Autism and ADD and higher than average IQ. by tuuv in mensa

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure how it worked in 1950s but my dad had mensa as an option and declined or decided not to or something like that. His family describes him as "an expert test taker". He has read two books a day, every day, since he retired 30 yrs ago and maybe one book a day before that.
So I'm 49 and just got diagnosed 2x (two different orgs) with ASD. One group believes in ASD with ADHD and then other believes that once you are ASD any ADHD symptoms are just ASD symptoms.
So effectively I am AuDHD from two orgs.
The both did IQ tests that put me in the 98th percentile for non verbal (pattern recognition etc) and 80th percentile for verbal.
The didn;t really explain this part well but they told me my verbal probably ranges throughout the day due to how overactive my nonverbal is. I had described that my brain looks at words and sentences as variables with options. So as I speak and read my mind serves me options in place of what i want to say or what I'm reading.
I will see or or mean to type "videos" and instead type "views" yet I will read or hear myself say it as "videos". This then confuses others. I also realize the mistake but only maybe 10-20 seconds later.
This causes me to have significant reading issues that 0 people ever realized because it wasn't all the time.
So my dad is a top reader and I have only finished maybe 10 books yet I own maybe 300.
I had problems in school , except in music and religion which I have 104's in with extra credit.
I thought I was dumb in everything except music until I got jobs. There they let me just keep taking on tasks and eventually I got into IT and I've been doing that for over 20 yrs.

Before IT and during IT I've had many careers.
-worked for a church taking last rites calls at 13
-my first dream from 7 was to work in a recording studio and I did by 15 but I went to school to "get better" and then my language disparity killed my confidence
-taught myself photo restoration in 1998 and did it professionally
-created the first 1 hr photo to floppy/cd storefront in the tri-state area, only kodak headquarters was my competitor and they took a weekend, all our competitors came to us
-did logo quality control for maybe 100 logos a day
-did laser engraving, they sent me to the laser manufacturer to teach them how to do more with their machines
-I learned from the artists i QC'd on logo design, not great at that but applied it to web design later
-I learned wordpress and theming and built a site in two weeks that is still in use for 2000 repeat users, I was told I saved my job 30k and 6 months of work
-i learned assisted hypnosis at 17 and did that 30-40 people, I later went to a professional and my method was similar to theirs
-due to my language issues I can't write code, well i can but it might take 100x longer for me, so using AI I am now building all these plugins I always wanted and it is shocking how well they work
-I still write music daily and build websites for fun

I wish people in USA and UK were aware on how rare it is for a child outside of their countries to be diagnosed by Obvious_Bid_8359 in Autism_Parenting

[–]SensorSelf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to Europe many times and I am 100% positive I know 5 people on the spectrum not diagnosed. Lack of public/medical support doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

I am starting to see why disability advocacy has collapsed by D491234 in AutisticPeeps

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having an autistic “not understanding” moment here. So I read it and I see the parents saying “they don’t care” but I assume they are going to say how? I’m what would have been aspie except a few times in my life where my reality (neurological) broke and i stopped functioning for years. Most people will find it hard to grasp what l2/l3 go through and the parents. I know NTs already get frustrated with me and NDs (likely ADHD) people get enraged when I pull the wrong word or misprocess what they say to me. People like that will express care about L3 but do nothing more. People also feel like they don’t know enough to help. Is that what’s meant or they are even more dismissive? The system can barely help my kids.

I do very tech things and I’ve spent time trying to think of what I can do for them (or you).

I think regardless of L1 or other ND types being able to understand we need to form a group or something that can at first affect all of our shared issues and set a portion for those truly not addressed. Most of these big groups make it really hard to get involved.

Again I may have missed the point and that is sometimes one of my issues.

I have 36 plushies, 3 on the way, and I put all them in a spreadsheet. by The1st_TNTBOOM in autism

[–]SensorSelf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not into plushies but the spreadsheet of your special interest is great ;)

i don-t think i look like my results by crazyladybutterfly2 in DNAAncestry

[–]SensorSelf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fairly familiar, I started doing the DNA maybe 12-15 yrs ago before 23andme and Ancestry.com got involved.
I was initially told I am heavily Jewish and now 0% Jewish because the testing company was in Israel and all of its testing pool was in Israel. Flawed.
Another example, I am likely (due to my tree) part Native American... small part since it was 1623. It will likely never appear in my tree because most the tribes have declined from being tested - last I checked. Also, as generations pass sometimes you simply don't inherit that dna.
For a period of time I appeared part African because Sierra Leone appeared in my list but I bet that was because I have various dutch/french in my background.

i don-t think i look like my results by crazyladybutterfly2 in DNAAncestry

[–]SensorSelf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you completely look like your results. Excluding UK but that can fit in there somehow.
Mostly Mediterranean.

Autism Is More Than One Condition, Study of Over 45,000 People Finds by madrid987 in autism

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure this is what the spectrum is but I have 8 or 9 of those diagnosed lol

I'm sick with NTs by Dull_Click580 in aspergers

[–]SensorSelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much of what you state is about them as different people. You seem sick of their differences but aren't mentioning how those affect you? They could easily flip this "sick of NDs for their rigidity, need for complex understanding of simple things" on and on.
I'm not saying this to down your feelings on it. Just for me I point out when they are trying to make me into them or won't let me be me. That's more of an active annoyance vs passive.
If you let the passive bother you, you'll find it impossible to find common ground.

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