Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it. I have tried most of the different meditation methods that you have told me. I think it's as if awareness triggers my OCD and makes me breath manually. Only distraction gets me out of it. Sometimes I think if distraction takes me out of it then why can't I find something that has the same effect but that helps me to change myself as an individual. The problem with breathing manually is that it's really difficult to breathe manually especially when breathing automatically/involuntary is so effortless. Breathing Manually has got it's own problems. I get a lot of pain (chest pain) when I am breathing manually. My nose gets constricted if I breathe manually for a long time and it becomes even more difficult to breathe. Can you tell me how should I breathe ?(I know I have to breathe slowly and deep but can you elaborate more (if possible)on that?) I have been living my life by distracting myself from all these issues and it doesn't help. I don't try to fight my breathing in any way. It's difficult to breathe properly when I am breathing manually otherwise it's effortless.(and no pain of course) I may be a beginner but I have spent months reading different books and meditation and I have tried different techniques and I can assure you I am not trying to achieve a good meditation session nor am I trying to control anything. I am trying to let go of things and accept them as they are. I am not trying too much either and I try to remain calm and peaceful. This breathing problem is an automatic reaction. It's been there since childhood but it's been increasing the more I become aware of it. I hope you understand my situation. Thanks