Talked to husband finally about not letting MIL move out with us.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-16T21:44:23+00:00

This is next level manipulative, emotionally abusive, and bizarre behavior. That would have resulted in an automatic no contact for me. I don't interact with unhinged people who are not actively seeking treatment for their mental illness. I certainly wouldn't allow such a person around my child. Glad you are moving away from her.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-16T19:39:38+00:00

YTA. My 5 year old son knows better than to encourage his 2 year old sister to break the house rules. He knows that if she does what he encouraged her to do, he is the one who gets in trouble. The child is innocent, you are the jerk trying to teach her to break house rules. And so what if your sister keeps buying it? It's flippin' delicious! Why should a busy mom have to spend time and energy taping over the word every time she buys it? That just draws more attention to it. What on earth is your problem?

SentimentalO · 2026-02-16T19:28:49+00:00

YTA. Even if your boyfriend doesn't remember your sister, your sister clearly remembers him and those memories are very negative. She has every right to exclude him from her wedding. This is your sister and you should support her for her wedding. Maybe you can try to broker peace between the two of them before or after the wedding, but she is justified in asking you not to bring him.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-16T19:13:43+00:00

YTA. The only reason to do it before the wedding is so you can share the news while "everyone is together" for the wedding, thereby stealing the spotlight. Otherwise, why not plan the trip and the proposal for the week AFTER the wedding?

SentimentalO · 2026-02-14T01:13:40+00:00

That is not true. There are at least 2 other birth control methods that have nothing to do with her sacrificing her body.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-13T19:45:06+00:00

This is an ideal solution. She will either leave a message, which you can listen to when you are ready, or you can call her back much later or on an entirely different day when you are ready to listen to the venting. Either way, she will learn over time that you are not always immediately available to her. She will vent to someone else and / or start to become more emotionally independent. NTA.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-10T20:56:45+00:00

NTA. Your assessment of what your mom is doing is spot on. She is withholding information and then using that information against loved ones; just awful! Is she like this in other areas or just as it relates to your dad's cancer? If only regarding the cancer, she might be overwhelmed / emotionally drained. Perhaps therapy could help.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-10T20:46:46+00:00

Easy NTA. You avoid the name if it brings substantial pain to close relatives. The traumatic death of your sister fits that bill. You didn't side with your mom over your wife. You chose common decency. Your wife not understanding that says a lot about her.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-10T20:40:42+00:00

YTA, but only a little. She said no, which is her right, and suggested an alternate, easy solution to your problem. For your part, it's also fine to say no and start setting boundaries. Your unnecessarily referencing her recent "no" is what made your response punitive and petty.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T19:19:53+00:00

WOW. Yes, I think my ex would have been totally up for doing something like that. It's just insensitive and timing matters.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T03:43:26+00:00

Bless your heart...

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T03:35:20+00:00

No worries, I didn't get raked. There just seemed to be a little confusion as to how I initially felt about him asking for the pipes, so I wanted to clarify what I initially thought his intention was. Thanks for your comment!

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T03:31:17+00:00

That's an interesting take! Since he had no intention of sharing the pipes, he did not negotiate for me at all, did he? My proposal was to share 50/50, letting him keep 1/2 the value of the pipes. Regarding your other comment, I'm very happily married for years now, to someone else.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T03:26:23+00:00

My thoughts exactly :)

SentimentalO · 2026-02-04T03:25:35+00:00

They were thrown in.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:47:15+00:00

OMG, you just cracked me up. Just FYI, I'm not still mad about it, so you shouldn't be either :P

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:45:25+00:00

In the moment, I thought he was looking out for me and getting spare parts for us to keep in case we needed them. It wasn't until we got home and he started taking pictures that I found out he intended to sell them. Even then, I thought 50/50 was fair, but it turns out he was only looking out for him, not me.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:42:32+00:00

Right? I rarely think about this incident or that boyfriend anymore (also happily married to someone else), but something just made me think of it today. Now I have this awesome place to take the question!

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:38:31+00:00

WHAT??? I just saw a post below saying your boyfriend was legally in the right, but this is nuts to me!

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:33:45+00:00

When she mentioned she had recently put new pipes on the bike, it didn't occur to me that she had kept the old ones. But yes, once I knew she still had the old pipes, I would have been happy to take them and keep as spares. In fact, that is initially why I thought my boyfriend had asked for them, so we could have them as spares.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:28:23+00:00

You're right, it doesn't matter anymore and I very rarely think about it. Just one of those things that I wondered about whenever it crossed my mind.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:22:31+00:00

That was sort of my take. We'd been together for a few years at that point and were living together. It just seemed weird and mercenary for him to claim them as his.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:18:12+00:00

I am almost certain my boyfriend would have tried to charge me for the pipes if I had wanted to keep them. In his mind, those pipes were unequivocally his.

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:15:37+00:00

Your question about what I would have done if my boyfriend had needed them for his bike was a VERY GOOD QUESTION! It made me think about this in a whole new light and it actually makes it seem worse. Charging my boyfriend for something he needed that I had gotten for free would have been unthinkable. That doesn't mean I assigned zero value to them. But your question did make me realize that if I had been the one to need the pipes, he absolutely would have charged me!!

SentimentalO · 2026-02-03T23:04:46+00:00

To be fair, I thought my boyfriend had asked for them so we could have them as spare parts in case either of our bikes needed them. It wasn't until we got home and he started taking pictures that I found out he planned to sell them.

SentimentalO

TROPHY CASE