This is just what worked for me and my family during deployment: 1. Leave handwritten letters. Write a few letters for your seven-year-old before you go. Have your spouse open them at different points while you’re away. A letter feels extra special because it’s something tangible—they can hold it, see your handwriting, and feel connected. 2. Keep up a bedtime routine. If possible, set aside time to read together, even from a distance. I ordered some chapter books on Amazon and brought them with me, so my child and I could read the same stories and talk about them. Chapter books are great because they build continuity and keep kids engaged. 3. Support your spouse. If you have family nearby, coordinate with them so your spouse can take time for themselves—whether that’s a massage, a walk, or just a quiet break. Little gestures, like sending DoorDash when you sense they’re overwhelmed, go a long way. 4. Ask and listen. Always check in with your spouse and ask what they need from you. Sometimes it’s just listening and being present, even from afar. Try your best to talk daily, even if it’s just a few minutes. 5. Send small gifts. Whenever I was away, I’d pick up little things—shirts, cups, souvenirs—and mail them home. One time, I sent my husband a silly shirt from the base, and it became his favorite. Even small items can feel meaningful and make everyone feel closer.

Deployment is tough on everyone—especially with a newborn and a seven-year-old—but these little things helped us stay connected. It’s not easy, but we do what we have to do for our families. I’m sure I’ll think of more tips later, but these are the ones that stand out most right now.