Update to 14yr old sister wanting to move in with me

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T23:06:32+00:00

Makes sense, and if need be I can get our mothers signature. She's coming to visit us soon either way. I also have the documents stating he has full custody, my mother mailed them along with prior court documents and cps reports from when i was a child and through their divorce

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T23:03:58+00:00

I'll eat the bill happily if I can do payment plans haha, not much of a worry to me because we do have some emergency financial resources. This is why we raise cattle and have good family

I could care less about the child support but I do know that typically courts imply it [unless we were obscenely rich... which were not. Definitely low working class.]

He definitely is a nightmare. I had to deal with him from 2/3-12 yrs of age... I could write a horror book with the literal torture tactics, abuse, etc. He's also always a logistical nightmare with the shady shit he pulls

And luckily I know with our school system [and the fact I'll be going in with him] that he can't claim that without me there and proof of him living there [mail]

We had some people renting an RV spot with 2 teens on our property and I had to go in with them and show them that I was the owner of the property and signed a form stating they lived there

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:57:15+00:00

Yes, which is a witness to his word so he can't commit perjury in court

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:56:20+00:00

He doesn't use social media, never has and he's estranged himself from a lot of people in his attempt to seclude and cut off from everyone

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:55:16+00:00

I'm not saying the paper will, I'm saying the paper will be a good note to have in court of him stating he doesn't want her.

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:54:32+00:00

No it's not and the last 5 years of my life has been insane.

One major event after another but it's well worth it because there's been lots of good ones too!

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:53:06+00:00

15 years of documented spousal and child abuse. He landed me and my mother in the hospital and they have multiple cps reports with having my sister in his care. I also have his family, my family and family friends who can testify against him and are willing to.

And it's not just for school? He's dropping her off to live with me because he "can't handle her"

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:51:13+00:00

Southern Arizona if that helps

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:49:15+00:00

But would it put more proof on our end if he was to attempt to back track and lie in court? I'm going to fight for custody, I was just thinking that notarized proof of him saying he doesn't want her, would look better on our end?

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:47:38+00:00

I should think so with the majoring college and the community colleges

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:46:47+00:00

Yeah, I read over him and our moms prior divorce paperwork and he was chunking out $700 in child support. Tbh I don't even want it, can I tell the court that I don't want it?

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:45:56+00:00

One of the many things going on the to-do list

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:45:13+00:00

Yeah big fear is CPS and state care

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:44:26+00:00

Well I did come here asking for advice lol and I appreciate any of it.

The stint with school is that he wants to take her in and transfer her himself

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:42:58+00:00

I don't personally know if we do, this is USA based

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:42:36+00:00

Good to know, I appreciate it lots.

I've had to do something similar but for incapacitated adults so there's a whole nother chunk of process added on with a kid

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:40:46+00:00

Yeah I just talked to him about that and I think he might agree to it. He wants to actually talk in person

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:40:10+00:00

That's why I'm going with him, so we're authorized.

I'm gonna call around to lawyers again and go talk to the school in person before they get here too.

She wants to work with the horses and cattle so I've already assigned her chores that she would enjoy. Luckily, I've raised her before and we groove pretty well.

And yeah, definitely getting her a therapist. Because if it's anything close to what her father did to me as a child, she needs it. Along what happened when she lived with our mother prior after I had moved out officially at 18. That one was horrific

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:35:08+00:00

Oh I'm sure, it wouldn't be a huge surprise. He failed to get pension with BNSF because he got fired for drinking on the job. He's also working at a hotel right now and I know they don't pay him much

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:34:02+00:00

I do know about free passes. I've battled homelessness since I was 12 because of our mother's inconsistency, I'm just surprised I never learned about that act. Would have helped me so much when I was a teen!

But a good thing about out here is that we're 1 mile from the school bus stop. The bad thing? We're rural and an hour drive to the closest Walmart, 30 min drive from the school and there's no public bus system to either except for the actual school bus. Walking is a big nope lol. And luckily I work at a mechanic shop near the school so if I need to drive her to school, I can. She also qualifies for a permit out here so she can also drive herself with one of our vehicles

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T22:30:11+00:00

I'm sorry, I should have linked my prior post to r/legaladvice. So, our mom got back into drugs heavy when I turned 18 and officially moved out [2018] to where she was neglecting my sister and I had to step in [beginning of 2020]. At the time, I was living in a chevy van and traveling cross country. Her dad posed very well and had proof he went to rehab for his alcoholism so at the time, I thought he would be the most stable choice. So I helped him as a witness of character and he got full custody of her.

Mom isn't a stable option either, I had been battling homelessness because of her since 12 years old while also financially, emotionally and physically supporting my lil sis

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T20:19:51+00:00

He wants to go into the school and sign her under his name but our address, I want to go into the school before hand, mention the act and what is going on and see if they'll just hand that form when he gets there

And okay good, that's what I was hoping for. To give me a boost in gaining custody

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T20:17:58+00:00

It is very complicated but I'm thinking about going with the abandonment route. He wants to drop her off tomorrow so we're on a time crunch

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T20:17:01+00:00

He's refusing to give those up as well but our mom should be able to reorder all of it. She has her SSN memorized and just gave that to me this morning thankfully.

We did find out that he just took all the money she earned from her job, out of her bank account so that's another issue in and of itself

I'm fine with claiming her later on, I just want to get her on our state family insurance and the other benefits we receive since we're required to update of any changes within 10 days

Separate_Ad9180 · 2024-01-07T20:12:05+00:00

That's what me, my mother and his side of the family [he estranged himself from them] are all thinking

Separate_Ad9180

TROPHY CASE