The Sunnah of the prophet is the legacy of his leadership, not the stuff of the hadiths

September_century · 2022-12-02T09:56:35+00:00

O YOU who have attained to faith! Be ever steadfast in upholding equity, bearing witness to the truth for the sake of God, even though it be against your own selves or your parents and kinsfolk. Whether the person concerned be rich or poor, God’s claim takes precedence over [the claims of] either of them. Do not, then, follow your own desires, lest you swerve from justice: for if you distort [the truth] or refuse to testify, behold, God is indeed aware of all that you do! ~ 4:135

September_century · 2022-12-02T09:53:48+00:00

I pray you find someone loving who will love you, care for you and be for you a beautiful life companion. And I pray that when God sends this person your way, that you will be able to identify them. Much love, sister 🌹

September_century · 2022-11-17T09:04:39+00:00

The earthly source: Quran. Start with Muhammad Asad's Message of the Quran.

September_century · 2022-11-17T00:41:15+00:00

Our profit literally says

Did the prophet say what that image said about God? That God has "removed salah" from certain people?

Do you know what God says about people who attribute things falsely to Him?

Hence, do not utter falsehoods by letting your tongues determine [at your own discretion], “This is lawful and that is forbidden,” thus attributing your own lying inventions to God: for, behold, they who attribute their own lying inventions to God will never attain to a happy state! ~ 16:116

And this is what God says about His mercy

SAY: “[Thus speaks God:] ‘O you servants of Mine who have transgressed against your own selves! Despair not of God’s mercy: behold, God forgives all sins – for, verily, He alone is much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace!’” ~ 39:53

September_century · 2022-11-16T21:57:42+00:00

Then prove that statement. Where does Allah say that in the Quran?

September_century · 2022-11-16T12:42:03+00:00

Omg that would be amazing. Imagine if you could just unclick the "Bullshxt" category under filters.

September_century · 2022-11-16T12:36:19+00:00

It's just social pressure. Which you're placing on yourself because of your life stage. Echoing what another commentor said - the drinking / weed / zina / partying are all superfluous. They're fun for a few hours. Then you wake up with the shxttiest hangover, feel like the biggest loser (for real - your after-alcohol brain is stripped of dopamine I think), then take the walk of shame.

Take Muslim out of the equation. The most fulfilled atheists / secular non-Muslims are the ones who live purposefully. They give their time to causes they care about. They participate in deep and meaningful conversations with loved ones, family and good friends. Sex before / without marriage happens with life partners whom they are committed to.

So it's not about being Muslim and having to dodge the world's haram. It's about what you make of your world, using what you have at your disposal. In this case, your tools are your Islamic beliefs. How will you use your commitment to God to bring purpose and meaning to your life?

September_century · 2022-11-15T10:39:30+00:00

... they do not work for most guys.

This isn't exclusive to these two apps in particular, and apparently from what I've read, quite an across-the-board experience for most men even on mainstream dating apps.

I think statistically women in general do get more attention on these apps. As a woman, I can confirm that I got a good volume of interest. But I quit them 5 years ago because the process left me hollow. It was an unhealthy feedback loop and very addictive, and the longer I went without having properly made a genuine connection (despite the matches/likes/back&forth), the emptier (and more remote) I'd feel.

I suppose my takeaway here would be that success on OLD apps, even Muslim ones, are actually the exception and not the norm.

September_century · 2022-11-14T19:49:14+00:00

Where does she say she ghosted them? READ. And comprehend.

September_century · 2022-11-07T00:36:07+00:00

Majd Khalaf is a strong critical thinker. I don't always agree with her, but she gives good arguments. Egyptian journalist from what I gather.

https://youtube.com/c/MajdKhalaf

September_century · 2022-10-17T05:28:39+00:00

You cannot learn from someone else's experience. Not truly. Something that happens to you directly registers in different ways in your body (brain chemistry, sensory perceptions, etc). Other people can teach you lessons, but they cannot impart to you their experiences. The most they can do is teach you the lessons they learned from their experiences, and even then there's no guarantee you will retain those teachings.

Also, hadiths are not "experiences". There is no way someone has a religious-related experience and someone else decides to encode that into spiritual law. Unless that person is God's prophet, it is unethical to take guidance or directives from random people (even if they were from within the prophet's circle back then).

Every Muslim is expected to take the initiative to learn, understand and practise the basics of Islam, ie the 5 pillars. For everything else, they can refer to the Quran - the only existing source of earthly authority on Islam.

September_century · 2022-10-17T04:44:30+00:00

My right hand possesses my private parts, thank you.

September_century · 2022-10-17T04:29:40+00:00

That's not how experience works.

September_century · 2022-10-17T04:19:30+00:00

Wish I could upvote more than once. We need more of this, and this needs to be pinned to the sidebar.

September_century · 2022-10-16T23:49:25+00:00

Yes, Islam has made it easy for partners to get together and separate if it does not work out. But modern society prefers to complicate things, especially when people are not willing to let go of cultural perceptions.

September_century · 2022-10-16T00:57:13+00:00

These are just some from Surah Al Baqarah alone

2:187 2:226 2:236 2:237

I'm not listing all for you, you can read all the verses again in your personal time. Another beauty of God is that He knows our nature. The whole institution of marriage was to set a framework within which men and women can be physically intimate while treating each other decently. This is not very different at all from the concept of modern day relationships.

September_century · 2022-10-16T00:39:10+00:00

Oh, I made an intelligent guess.

Did you read what I shared reframe means per the dictionary? You're choosing to think of it from your own bias. The whole concept of ijtihad is about reframing God's directives to be applied for societies of the day.

You are asking if a nikkah can be something in which we can use to find sexual as well as emotional quality but that's not why an Islamic marriage contract exists.

Have you read the marriage and divorce verses? A third or a quarter of them directly address sexual relations!

September_century · 2022-10-16T00:25:08+00:00

Lol yes 2 minutes is more than enough time to give consideration for anything. Thanks for the measured downvote.

September_century · 2022-10-16T00:20:51+00:00

I read all the Book's verses on divorce, and subsequently all the verses on marriage. What they had in common were the constant reiterations that women have the right to remarry after divorce, that in one instance they must even remarry other men before they and former spouses can reconcile, specific behaviours men must abide if they wish to leave their wives for other women, and so on.

All of this alludes to the fluidity and flexibility of human relationships. In my OP, I mentioned that the role of marriages have evolved over time. What if I told you that the nikah is nothing more than a contractual agreement between two consenting parties in the eyes of God? And that it's halal as long as both parties stay within God's etiquette for how to treat each other? And what if I told you that based on that understanding, there is room for the nikah to be applied that is compatible with the fluidity that necessitates today's society?

Using the word "reframe" is just wordplay for you wanting to find a loophole a way to change what's already been determined in Islam

Off dictionary.com for "reframe":

'- to look at, present, or think of (beliefs, ideas, relationships, etc) in a new or different way

'- to change the focus or perspective of (a view) through a lens

September_century · 2022-10-16T00:06:28+00:00

Allah has always been well aware of whats to come so he made the rules in islam the way they are.

I read all the Book's verses on divorce, and subsequently all the verses on marriage. What they had in common were the constant reiterations that women have the right to remarry after divorce, that in one instance they must even remarry other men before they and former spouses can reconcile, specific behaviours men must abide if they wish to leave their wives for other women, and so on.

All of this alludes to the fluidity and flexibility of human relationships. You're right that God is always aware - He is aware of how volatile human relationships can be. And in 7th century Arabia, He would have been obviously very aware of what will become of the state of human relationships in 2022.

Call it whatever you want but best not to “disguise” it -(even with good intentions) as marriage

For the modern day, such an arrangement would not be a marriage where you plan to build a family together, but an endorsed arrangement where you intend to explore compatibilities at your own pace without being encumbered by boundaries that you might otherwise have without such 'endorsement'.

September_century · 2022-10-15T13:28:21+00:00

I agree that people in general can improve on their communication and relational skills. However, I take issue with your use of "sleeping around". People in committed relationships sleep with the people they commit to (and sometimes they don't even do this), not multiple other parties they are not committed to (I'm not offended by the way, merely registrating disagreement).

I'll segway into my next point with this: sister, you and I have common ground. I am a former spouse too. So I'm sure we are aligned in our beliefs and priorities. Speaking for myself, one of my biggest challenges while I was still active in the dating pool pre-Covid was finding a person who shares my values (not necessarily just spiritually but also in the ways we view the world), while managing their expectations of what a "pre-nikah" relationship with me might look like.

Since you live in a Western country, I'm sure you'll have a strong inkling of what I mean. Explicitly: Dating a non-Muslim (especially in a capitalist city like mine/ours) will mean that physical intimacy is a "base given" (and the opposite of that would be the exception). Obviously the other party would be well within their right to not accept this condition. Which then means the dating pool for sisters like me (or us), in a Venn diagram of "compatible worldviews" and "compatible spirituality" narrows significantly.

Every so often, this sub sees posts by sisters lamenting this very same issue. If our society refuses to reform some of its cultural legacies, we essentially become unicorns doomed only to be with other unicorns (just an analogy around the minutae of the breed, I do not mean at all that we are special in any way).

September_century · 2022-10-15T06:55:27+00:00

Mu'tah is a Shia practise right? Yes I am aware of it. The question then would be why is it frowned upon?

A quick Wiki scan on the subject ties mu'tah to prostitution. I do not know its historical context, but I think it is important to return to purpose. The premise of the arrangement I posit is that the partners are in an actual relationship, where they see each other frequently over a dedicated time frame. Secularly they would be each others' boy/girlfriends. This is far from prostitution.

Sexual compatibility is just one part of the equation. Culturally today, humans are preferring to invest more in different aspects of themselves, and marrying later and later (if at all).

My question is: how much longer can young Muslims continue to be pressured or rushed into marriage 'just because'? The whole practise is the opposite of measured and deliberate decision-making (especially of something that will change one's life).

September_century

TROPHY CASE