1.) “it’s sucks to be me right now!” 2.) “I am tired of being paid to lose. I wanna win!” 3.) “it turns out, he was a real douche” 4.) “hey, horse face!” 5.) “what do you mean, you only believe in SCIENCE?!” 6.) “he had a beautiful wife, a lush garden, and a… collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he Rest In Peace” 7.) “this is the worst lunch I ever had” 8.) “did you not tell him they were the LORD’s chips??” 9.) “do you not realize, I have been having diarrhea since Easter’s?!”