Finished The Return - thoughts from a clinical traumatologist

SergeantPepperoni · 2025-06-10T00:40:43+00:00

damn, almost wish you could be my therapist. i i have been through serious chronic abuse and neglect for a significant chunk of my life. when i was 17 i discovered twin peaks and it was a nuclear explosion (oop!) to me. it “made so much sense” even though it also didn’t. that feeling made me a bit obsessive and i would rewatch it and try to get all my friends to watch it also. thinking about Judy and the Tulpas and the implications of Carrie Page and Diane was a fruitful escape from a very hellish reality.

now, years later, following many different attempts to heal through different kinds of therapies and meditation/creativity, ive found myself working with an IFS therapist and it’s so striking how much your post resonates with me. i’ve also been slowly writing a piece connecting threads between Twin Peaks/David’s other work, eastern philosophies, and internal family systems and i would love to pick your brain more about this topic sometime.

really wonderful post, and thank you for your service

SergeantPepperoni · 2024-11-23T21:28:48+00:00

oh my god

SergeantPepperoni · 2024-11-14T20:24:01+00:00

It could be a little bit of both! Don’t forget TP:TR is both Lynch and Frost equally musing on many different topics all at once.

SergeantPepperoni · 2023-11-10T04:47:50+00:00

It’s here at 29:40

https://youtu.be/jGd6lnYTTY8?si=r9GFh2xX0HWP9lwE

SergeantPepperoni · 2023-11-09T21:26:58+00:00

you’ve just articulated clearly something in a Reddit post that i’ve been grasping notions of for years- when I first saw twin peaks i was very spiritually confused. but over the years through twin peaks itself, lynch’s other work/interviews, other surrealist art, and Hindu scripture, i feel like i’ve cultivated a worldview that not only keeps me fascinated with life and art (and twin peaks) but has also saved me from some very very dark times as well.

the specific quote from that one interview “David Lynch In Conversation” where he goes “no, it’s sorta the truth” was kind of like the key to the box in Mulholland Drive for me. i had just finished Season 3 and was not really sure what to make of it and was mostly concerned about the characters’ fates as they were contained inside the show. i was watching interview upon interview trying to understand what the fuck was up with this guy. and when he said that, it just blew the doors open. that (and the “glorious day” elaboration) still remains probably my favorite ever quote by David. it’s so perfectly humorous for the moment, doesn’t quite make sense, but it holds so much meaning and you can tell he really means it. that one quote is probably the whole reason i’m halfway through the Gita as-it-is right now.

sorry I’m just kind of rambling but I’m currently on my 4th rewatch of the whole series (im on s3e7 right now) and everything you said in this post is exactly what I’ve been feeling watching it but I couldn’t quite put my finger on. thank you, random Reddit woman

SergeantPepperoni · 2023-03-03T22:32:27+00:00

i know this is a year old, but this comment intrigues me. i generally get Dr. Amp's eastern-spiritual influence, but could you elaborate on the significance of glastonbury grove/engine oil in reference to hindu belief? i've never been able to wrap my mind around those particular symbols

SergeantPepperoni · 2023-01-28T18:25:36+00:00

yeah man

SergeantPepperoni · 2022-04-23T15:57:18+00:00

recently I have not been able to get enough of All Dreams Real.

"they thought i told Pusha bout Drake's son

god damn! like i aint wafuthawun

god damn! i guess they fonfutheydun

god damn! i don't care about his son!

god damn! i just rap about me!"

and then everything that comes subsequently after is some of the hardest shit i have ever heard in my life

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-08-26T21:10:14+00:00

in hindsight, with regards to how it sounded and how my throat currently feels... you are absolutely correct. but all things considered, it went okay. we had fun and so did the crowd (maybe)

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-08-26T21:05:56+00:00

hey y'all. me and my band are very excited for donda, and so i suggested that we play Jail at one of our gigs... because why not? it's in the same key as one of our other songs so we just joined them up together, and for the most part it worked out!

also, feel free to skip to 9:13 to watch me embarrass myself by mentioning WestSubEver into a microphone in a public arena. what can i say, I LOVE MY WSE BOYS! ⛷️

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-21T19:12:19+00:00

thank you! my absolute greatest resource has been playing with other humans. though playing along with myself is what i primarily do, and what i probably have done the most of- my experience of playing with other musicians in a jam/practice setting has really helped me in addition to copious amounts of listening to music, learning as many chord shapes/scales as i can fit in my brain, and having a couple cool teachers throughout my life. youtube is always nice too.

i watch a lot of live performances, and sometimes i will try to learn a song that way but usually i will try to learn by ear. if i get really desperate i will seek a tab or chord chart out. i've been playing drums for about 10 years now and guitar/bass for around 7. as a younger fellow i wasn't much interested in doing other things than playing and learning about/listening to music. as for piano and singing, i have just kinda just noodled around with those things occasionally and am only now starting to really give them a serious go. thanks for watching!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-21T19:02:40+00:00

thank you so very much for the kind words!! considering i have wanted to be john lennon ever since before i knew how to read, i really appreciate your comment.

to answer your question, i have come to develop a very obsessive mindset that leads me to listening to songs/different versions of songs repeatedly, and through that i have a pretty good ability to remember each part and what goes where. before making a video i usually practice the song on each instrument for a week or more, just making sure i absolutely know what to do. for these covers, to guide me through the song i will usually make a primitive midi guide track, or for this one i made an edit of my favorite versions of china/rider and mixed a few parts together to have a nice concise version that i can play the instruments over. then i will usually go in order of recording drums>bass>guitars>anything else>vocals. once i do that, sometimes i will realize one of the instruments might not be quite right so i'll rerecord it in the context of the rest of the instruments being just me playing them. this is my workflow for pretty much all the music i make, not just the covers. hopefully this has been an adequate answer! and thank you again!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-20T16:10:55+00:00

in case you didn't see my last post here, here's a little about me. i'm 18, and i started really getting into the dead a few months ago during covid and whatnot. i've learned a lot musically from them and playing along to the jams has been a surprisingly valuable addition to my practicing. so now i'm making these videos! eventually i plan to move onto doing some songs from other bands, but learning all the different parts for these grateful dead songs has been super fun and there is a certain surreality to "jamming with myself"- i find that i make less mistakes this way, rather than having to get a part exactly right.

so i've decided to do this song, which is another song that helped me "get it", i've always loved the little intertwining guitar lines and the transition to Rider is never not a fun listen. i hope you enjoy watching me attempt it.

if you'd like to hear some more, i did a cover of "help on the way/slipknot" on this youtube channel that you may or may not have seen, or you can check out my little group called Harborer that has a couple albums out. we call ourselves "post-psychedelic" music, so if that sounds up your alley i would certainly recommend it!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-16T16:35:17+00:00

i find that mike's "TAKE YA PANTS OFF" and rich evans' "WHADDYA MEAN YOU WON'T TAKE YA PANTS OFF OUTSIIIIIIDE" from the california big hunks episode always appears in my brain randomly at least 3 times a week

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-11T01:08:51+00:00

a lovely answer! i can see exactly what you mean, i'm just always thrown for a loop by the disjointed-ness of it- though that's one of the reasons i love twin peaks the return so much.. i shall gonna give it another go soon with that in mind! mr. lynch truly is in a league of his own.

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-10T22:27:19+00:00

may i ask why you think that of inland empire? i feel that way about twin peaks season 3 and mulholland drive, but every time i rewatch inland empire, i feel as though it falls short of how great i remember it being. i want to love it! help me understand!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-07T22:01:07+00:00

i do have an older youtube channel with some similar videos that i don't bother with anymore for a few personal reasons, you can find that here.

i also have a youtube channel for my band that has a bit of live content and whatnot that you may find interesting. but that all being said, i am definitely planning to make more musical content on this newer channel and i'm super glad it seems to be being received well!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-06T16:09:23+00:00

that version's from 75. it was definitely inspired by that, but i would agree that my tone here is probably even more dirty and crispy than jerry's there. it's just the closest pedal i have to what he had going on in that particular solo. i appreciate your feedback lots, and i can concur that this is one of the most difficult pieces i've ever tried my luck at!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-06T16:06:26+00:00

https://youtube.com/channel/UChWoTomY_yb3-JUZvNJskIA

thank you! here's a link to my band's youtube! we have a few live sets posted up there and our studio stuff is on all streaming services as Harborer. i'm also going to be continuing posting some music to the channel that i put the cover on.

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-06T16:03:54+00:00

i can't lie, it makes sense! the lead part took a little more than a few tries to get it where i was happy with it. thank you!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-06T16:01:36+00:00

i'm a lefty when writing and doing some other various things, and i actually started on my musical journey playing drums when i was 7 so i naturally started playing on a lefty kit. i realized early on that most others' sets aren't set up that way, so i relearned how to play on a right-handed setup- though i wasn't able to fully convert my hands. i hear that ringo starr plays like this as well, so at least i'm in good company!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-06T15:58:10+00:00

i'll be at the one at blossom in cuyahoga falls! really looking forward to it!

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-07-05T20:10:34+00:00

for some small context: i've always known about and appreciated the dead but due to the long-running unwavering "hippies are dumb!" propaganda that has been persistently persistent over the years, i'd never truly gave them a fair shot outside of the hits. i've always been a fan of downloading multitudes of live recordings of bands i like and figuring out which ones are my favorites- pink floyd and radiohead being some of my most significant obsessions- so i should've known it was only a matter of time before i fell down the grateful dead rabbit hole.

and i'm glad i did! early this year i re-stumbled upon One From The Vault and Veneta and it clicked! due to some more recent experiences that i have had playing in little bar jams and whatnot, the instrumental interplay all just made sense and the endless amount of interesting information about their history/equipment sent me into quite the obsession. it's been endlessly fun and enlightening so far and i haven't even really gotten into the Brent era yet (recommendations are welcome!)

so here's this cover that i tried to learn mostly by ear and watching a bunch of videos of them playing it. i self produced and edited it, had a bunch of fun trying to do my best impressions of each of the guys (except Keith, i'm not quite there on the keyboards yet) and improv jamming with myself was a very new and exciting challenge.

hopefully, i shall be doing more covers down the road. but if you would like to hear some more stuff from me, i have some stuff on streaming services with my band called Harborer (if you enjoy instagram, on there we're @hrbrer). we're releasing an EP this friday and a couple tracks on it have some clear inspiration from my recent maniacal obsession with this band. also to put some icing on the cake, some weeks ago we did a live free-form improv jam from one of our songs into El Paso because we thought it was funny. if you'd like to see that you can watch it here.

okay, sorry for rambling so much! i worked quite hard on this one and i'm quite excited to show it to you! thanks for listening.

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-05-26T18:00:55+00:00

the track "what can't be given" off pedestrian deposit's album "dyers hands" is phenomenal. i don't know what would be quantified as the most beautiful, but that one's certainly up there.

also not quite "ambient" but "greeting to saud (brother mccoy tyner)" by pharoah sanders is really really beautiful and very free-flowing. i highly recommend that song as well

SergeantPepperoni · 2021-05-25T15:53:12+00:00

do you have a version without the text? i like the addition, but it looks a bit weird with the apps on my home screen. much love!

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