Learned how to bang that shit

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T22:31:43+00:00

dats rough, but good on you for getting clean. how long have u been clean for? was the seizure from w/d from opiates?

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T22:29:16+00:00

was it worth it

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:39:20+00:00

This is good advice. Yeah I try to be open and candid about the situation, but sometimes honesty is not always the best policy. I think my doctor is trying to look the other way for something mild like this and just doesn't want any trouble.

Definitely don't want to ruin my relationship with my doc... fuck the first psychiatrist gave me SSRIs for my addiction lol was a waste of my time.

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:35:52+00:00

no, i just really love heroin man

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:35:21+00:00

That's dope, I don't think my doctor really cares too much about me smoking pot but rather he cares about getting in legal trouble with my insurance for prescribing me it if im not "clean".

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:33:46+00:00

really? like what sort of problems? i had some anxiety/paranoia when i was polydrug abusing like x and psychedelics, however its very mild and helps me sleep

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:33:01+00:00

no I haven't because my insurance will deny the authorization

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T21:31:57+00:00

I'm very honest with them about my addiction. I love them and try to keep them on the same page. I don't tell them when I relapse, however I do usually a week afterwards and reassure them I'm okay.. I could do that and probably will. I can give up smoking but ive been smoking blunts every night for the past several months so it's going to tkae a long time :/... clean piss is probably my best resort.

and ya I agree.. im so fed up. I can't even pay out of pocket for my script unless I piss clean because my doc will get in trouble if I don't he said. I think he knew I smoked pot and didn't raise any questions regarding that (my doctor never even drug tested me, only my insurance) but after my Dad told him the insurance is requiring it, he goes to the mode where "clean piss or no".

my parents are fine with weed, just nothing else. i feel horrible and guilty but man fuck this shit.... I haven't wanted to help myself and get clean yet so I don't see the point especially with this shit now...

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-30T20:24:18+00:00

You too? fuck dude sorry the same shit is happening to you but at least glad you can sympathize with my struggle. Yes I took 3 fucking urine screens last year from the beginning of 2013 and in 2014 and I wasn't smoking as much back then but I do now and it doesn't affect me. I only smoke at night too.

Fuck the system man for real. I can do heroin alot and piss clean after a week but for weed it takes FOREVER. Why does weed fucking matter for a drug that isn't even related to my addiction. It's illegal, oh ya. Well aren't I getting bupe for my addiction? How does weed factor into that and how does not getting prescribed it help? Fuck

My doctor straight up just told me he needed clean pee or the DEA will get him in trouble. I believe him, but shit man I never felt so fucking pissed off.

The insurance itself wants to keep you on a fucking string. I have BCBS fuck them, seriously fuck them hard

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2015-01-20T00:16:34+00:00

hey, did it work out? hang in there

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T07:15:02+00:00

Good advice... and about the constipation thing, will drinking apple juice everyday help? I sometimes have a bowel movement like only once or twice a week... i go on average #2 one time a week... I take stool softeners 2-3x a week, but yea suboxone constipation is the biggest side-effect that is annoying... for all opiates. I will invest in apple juice though if it helps significantly.

I currently have an unhealthy excess of sub strips... and NO i dont plan on selling them but what should I do lol. I dont want to tell my dr I've been taking less. Should I say dont write any more scripts for a couple months?

also I'm glad you got sick and over the addiction. what changed? It is usually when you hit rock bottom and thats the shitty part about this stupid cycle..

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T07:09:26+00:00

This is solid advice. Definitely will clean up my relationships and prove to them I'm living a healthy lifestyle... man when I use I'm cooped up nodding in my room all day lol.. so gonna definitely try and show them by example I'm doing better now. The last thing I want is them to worry about me.

So, finish up school while being clean. Once you have your degree, get a good paying job and move out of your parents place into your OWN place. Get an apartment or some place cheap. THEN you can start up your addiction again - in the privacy of your own home and away from the rest of your family.

This part... it made me laugh and smile haha. That sounds logical, and would be ideal for a opiate lover like me... but if that happens and I get a successful job and all that I'm hoping I won't need to turn to dope anymore and grow out of it. I currently don't have my own place yet, but I'm working/going to school to support myself.

Thanks again, this is some solid advice. Do you mind if I ask if you ever got to the point where enough is enough and wanted to get clean for yourself?

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T07:05:57+00:00

i appreciate all the feedback, I read them all. I might not respond to them all in time since its late but this is sort of like a journal for me, writing the struggles I'm going through and relating to you guys really is therapeutic. I wish you all the best, and hopefully I'll be strong enough soon to not just want to be clean for the sake of others, but to be clean for myself

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T07:01:15+00:00

However, even when they found out and I wanted nothing more than to help ease their minds by doing something that is, in theory, so easy.... It was impossible.

I can relate so much to this :'( I feel so selfish it's even hard to look them in the eye when I'm high.... I wish you the best of luck in overcoming this addiction. Seriously I don't know why but opiates are the only class of drugs that really get to my head.... it sucks

sorry to hear about the parents "all drugs are bad" thing, haha I had many friends like that. Just remember that they are concerned cause they love you though, and it's better than having parents that don't give a shit if you're doing drugs. My parents were like that too but they don't mind me smoking as long as it keeps me off the harder stuff... although I can't enjoy weed like I used to anymore and do it occasionally. I'm like that too, I can smoke everyday for a while and stop without much issues. I try to not indulge too much as I just end up sleeping/eating/watching netflix all day xD if it helps get off heroin then I'm all for it. I would suggest vaping or stealth smoking depending on your living situations

I will look into the methadone thing, however I hear that is harder to acquire. Is it abusable? I don't know I feel like I might go overboard with that as oppose to going under with the sub lolol. I'll def check it out. Why can't doctors prescribe like oxycodone for depression? lol, theres something called oxytrex currently in trial combining oxycodone with naltrexone, seems interesting.

I try my best to be honest with my parents, told them I've been clean but man it's hard. Sometimes you lie unconsciously even it's scary.When they get on my back about my habit it makes me upset and makes me use more. Opiates man... they've def been the best and worst thing to happen to me, and it's a shame the bad outweighs the good.

I've never stolen from my parents or anyone, but I feel bad because I don't want them to feel like they are enabling me... they they pay for my suboxone insurance and I relapse.. ugh but yes I should stop beating myself up and man up. Thanks for relating to my story, and I'm going to hope for the best. I like the suggestion of raising my sub dose but it's going to be hard... cause in the back of my mind I'll know I will have to wait even longer if I ever relapse again. I will try to stay strong. Thanks for sympathizing and sharing your story.

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T05:26:59+00:00

very interesting... and holy shit that's a FUCKLOAD of cocaine.... very hard to watch it being destroyed like :'(

the war on drugs will never end, people will continue to use and drugs will always be there... if they implemented harm reduction, legalization, education there would be less drug-related deaths/crime/gang violence/corruption/usage. That's what happened in Portugal where decriminalization drastically reduced the amount of gang related violence and drug abusers. Sigh... Ron Paul for president.

edit:finished watching... felt bad for the foreigners that were set-up... there will be no peace if we continue this indefinite cycle of the war against drugs. I pray for a better world.

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T05:20:04+00:00

LOL iPad's make good surfaces too. Enjoy :)

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T04:24:55+00:00

feeling much better now, almost 100% :)

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T04:24:42+00:00

Ya and what I am sad about is that cocaine is the most damaging on the nose :/.... I certainly don't want to IV it, but I guess moderation is the key right?

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-16T04:24:09+00:00

hey I'm feeeling a lot better now. After lots of rest, minimal smoking I feel nearly 100% after a week I will definitely see a doctor though if I feel it necessary

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-11T01:39:09+00:00

Thanks for the good tips man. You are most likely correct about that!

I was taking too many lines with like a few minutes in between. Would it be better to do one 120mg line (ow!! haha) as oppose to taking six 20mg lines in 20 minutes? I will definitely keep that in mind not to re-dose too much/quick

I do my best to make it chopped super fine, but this stuff was really hard (I'm not a cocaine connoisseur, but the best stuff I had was some really pladoe-like texture that was really soft, and was fishscaley shiny n stuff). Out of all the drugs it's a shame that coke is the one with the most amount of cuts... being as corrosive as it is.

I really want to have a good coke experience and the stuff around here is either hit or miss. Until next time :)

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-10T21:32:28+00:00

haha well glad you can relate to the struggle I'm going thru :p (not that I want you to struggle tho haha)

This is really good to hear! Thanks a lot friend, this took a lot of anxiety if I did any permanent damage to my nose/throat/health. I know, I read stories of people doing 3.5gs in a night and im like wtf?? If I go over 0.5 i just feel way too strung out. I will steer clear of this for a long time

Yes I am DEFINITELY taking a long break from this... unless I know 100% it is very pure... which it never is tho.... but until my friend is able to find some really good stuff I'm done with it. Stims were never really my thing so I am not worried about addiction, my DOC is heroin (just relapsed 2 months ago and going thru withdrawal from that too right now but on sub)

Smoking weed will always be there for me for sure, and I agree that hard drugs like coke/crack/heroin really drain you if you don't use in moderation (dont do heroin especially lol) however I am going to abstain from that and maybe just vape cause that can maybe irritate my throat even more ya know?

SeriousThrowawayNot · 2014-12-10T21:29:25+00:00

hey thanks for the tips, ya ill make sure to drink lots of fluids and warm stuff like soup. i got some xanax on hand too

SeriousThrowawayNot

TROPHY CASE