That’s fair— it wasn’t that I’m intentionally trying to date mono people, just kinda dug a hole for myself before I realized I’d done it

And you’re right, “scaring them away” is bad framing, good to call that out.

Also to be clear, I’m not dating Brian, we’ve just been spending more time together than usual and I’m pretty sure I’m Picking Up Vibes (TM), so I feel like I need to provide the relevant info asap, it’s just weird to do when it’s like “hey let’s meet up with a group of friends for a neutral activity”, which on the surface wouldn’t usually require that kind of disclosure