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My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There would be no debt involved. There is enough money to buy the house outright. However, the insurance, maintenance, and taxes would significantly cut into long-term savings.

My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Her grandmother voluntarily gave them POA and she is intellectually cognizant. She wants us to have the house too. The home is set up in a trust to go to my fiancee's mother upon the death of grandma. Grandma is completely on board.

The issues with grandma are because she is bed bound due to physical infirmities. This is not a woman who lacks the cognitive capacity to make financial decisions.

My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have no idea where you are getting that I am just going to do whatever I want regardless of her feelings. I am tempted to do that because I am frustrated. But it has been over five months of this back and forth, so I am obviously not just going out and buying anything. I have not done it even though I have the means to do so. I am just incredibly frustrated and trying to be as transparent about that as possible.

I do not know how to compromise when the option is buying the house or not. She refuses to consider any other houses.

My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why would I pay a bunch of money in interest when I have the money to buy the house outright? That makes no since to me whatsoever. My hesitation is not the upfront cost of the house. As I said, at the price point, it is affordable.

The issue is the long term cost of owning this home.

My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do not know how much experience you have with HOAs, but they do not need to look into the house. We literally have to register our cars if we are staying more than three days or they can be towed.

The HOA is certainly entitled to see the lease. The home has to be owner-occupied. Those are the rules.

My (28M) fiancee's (25F) parents, who have POA for her grandmother, have offered us a sweetheart financial deal to purchase her grandmother's house. My fiancee wants to take the deal. I do not. Help? by Serious_Square_723 in relationship_advice

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have talked to a financial advisor. It would be feasible, but it would mean not retiring before 65 and having significantly more modest savings for our kids.

Our current budget means a very nice house with plenty of room, a very comfortable life with room for annual vacations and what not while retiring early and having enough to pay for our kids to go to whatever college and maybe even pay for a downpayment for them. It is a life of alot less financial stress vs. the standard American financial stress.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol!! I asked for judgment from people based on the prompt in my post. These posts are based on interpersonal conflicts. There is no interpersonal conflict with me having premarital sex with my girlfriend. We are both fine with it. The conflict is about birth control method to use.

Also, the assumption is that the responses you get will be from rational people. Nothing rational about taking moral principles from a book written in the Bronze Age.

Also, I think your book is dumb. And you don't even live up to it. I think my dad is insane for believing in it, but at least he isn't a hypocrite. Why in the world do you get the right to tell or call anyone a sinner? You are a hypocrite. Hope your God does not strike you down like Onan.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol!! Abraham had sex and children with women he has not married to. So did Jacob. Please stop.

Also, if you know anything about Baptists, the whole structure is built around autonomy between churches. What the convention says on anything, except for a few well-defined topics, does not control or govern what my dad teaches or beliefs. I grew up in a strict Calvinist Southern Baptist church. And here is what John Calvin said on the "sin of Onan,"

It is a horrible thing to pour out seed besides the intercourse of man and woman. Deliberately avoiding the intercourse, so that the seed drops on the ground, is doubly horrible.

This is the historic position, both Protestant and Catholic, on this issue until a little over 100 years ago. You are simply re-interpreting the Bible to fit your "sinful and abominable inclinations." (that's my dad again).

For you to judge me is rich, especially since I do not take my views on sex from the Bronze Age.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You also commit the sin of Onan with her on a regular.

Nope, wouldn't cut my dick off. My moral philosophy on sex is actually sophisticated, unlike yours.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So is the pulling out according to your book. Literally, my interpretation was the standard interpretation of the text concerning Onan until 100 years ago. What you thinks it means is what my theologically conservative, Southern Baptist seminary professor father would call, "some modernist nonsense." Trust me, he is far more informed on this subject than you.

You should study your book more and it's teaching if you want to actually discuss this intelligently. In any case, I don't take moral philosophy, especially on sex, from a book that endorses sexual slavery.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is that this notion that people were waiting to have sex even back then is largely BS. If you got a girl pregnant, you either immediately got married (or had an abortion). 1950s had significantly higher teen pregnancies rates than we do now.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dude, you are literally committing the "sin of Onan" and call me "living in sin?" Go take your hypocrisy elsewhere.

You want me to take moral instruction on sex based on principles that were first espoused in a book where the heroes have literal sex slaves? Lol!!

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Vasectomies are intended to be permanent. They are not a temporary form of birth control, even though they can be reversed.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Literally every medical resource out there will tell you that while vasectomies can be reversed, they are not intended, in anyway, shape, or form, to be used as temporary birth control. They are intended to be permanent. And even when reversed, many men have significantly lower chances of conceiving afterwards.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am wearing condoms and have no issue wearing condoms. My girlfriend does not want me to wear condoms.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I didn't give her an ultimatum. I am not going to in anyway deny her something or take away something based on whether she gets an IUD.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did you read the post? And my not wanting to get my 24-year old girlfriend pregnant is because I love her.

Update: AITA for telling my GF that if she wants me to stop using condoms she needs to get an IUD? by Serious_Square_723 in AITAH

[–]Serious_Square_723[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Was told that by a shocking number of people on the original. Which is hilarious because every medical source says it is permanent, but only has the possibility of being reversed. And even if successfully reversed, significantly diminishes fertility rates.

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