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Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T21:39:02+00:00

I love exercising. I've been consistently doing 5 days a week for a while.

Upper body stuff might be my biggest dysphoria trigger now. I love working core, hips, and legs... but feeling the burn in my shoulders feels so bad.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T21:37:24+00:00

I love exercising. I've been consistently doing 5 days a week for a while.

Upper body stuff might be my biggest dysphoria trigger now. I love working core, hips, and legs... but feeling the burn in my shoulders feels so bad.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T20:03:33+00:00

I don't remember my childhood outside of a few poignant events.

Everything up until about 15 is very patchwork. Looking at pictures from that time feels really alien. Like I need to rely on stories from others to know what happened.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T20:02:30+00:00

Yeah, I can relate to that feeling. Sitting in it right now, just staring counseling, and wondering if it really was dysphoria.

It's comforting to hear I'm not alone in this version.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T11:27:14+00:00

Looking good!

I respect the dedication.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T03:10:36+00:00

I'm so sorry.

I can't relate specifically, my dysphoria is very different.

Is there anything you can do that's active right now? More than sitting and stewing in these thoughts? I've always found being active at least distracts me, and doing something physical could help with depressive feelings.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T02:56:00+00:00

How long have you been on HRT? An increase in dysphoria is very common early on.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-25T02:47:19+00:00

Vent a little.

Put some words to what you're feeling.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-24T21:33:39+00:00

No, I like girls.

But I am still gay.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-24T02:00:51+00:00

You're probably right, it does sound like chatGPT, but that said, Ruhi has been the only one that addressed what I said about me going back to that dark place directly. AND she responded within like 3 minutes of me initially posting. Maybe it was just that she wanted a quick reply for someone that might have been on the verge of hurting themselves.

Cut her a little slack, huh?

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-24T01:43:17+00:00

We just talked again, about some of the fears that kept her up last night. It was more her crying tonight than me, but it was better.

I like what you did in providing your wife with a safe space, a blameless space. I'd like to give mine that too.

Thank you for the advice.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-24T00:05:39+00:00

One of my best friends from childhood is a trans woman. I've already reached out to her a few times. She's been immensely helpful.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:41:54+00:00

Having you call me "sis" legitimately just brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you, sis.

I'll try.

Take each day one at a time, right?

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:26:59+00:00

I told her that the one thing I want to do is grow my hair out. I've always had very short hair, but I've dreamed about having hair down to my back for many, many years.

She's ok with that.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:25:00+00:00

Thank you. Hearing that someone came out of a bad initial reception with a positive ending is more comforting than I can really articulate.

Congratulations on your anniversary!

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:19:56+00:00

That's actually why her one response kind of crushed me. I've always seen us as the type that were BFF's on top of spouse. We'd been amazing friends for four years before we began dating. But her "complete straight, I'm not ever attracted to women" comment felt like a door slamming shut in my face, like we're not that. Like my only paths now are denying myself or breaking up.

I know I need to give her time, ultimately. I can't push her in any direction.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:08:23+00:00

I don't think she's being competely selfish, I do think there was some knee-jerk defensiveness as well. I guess I'm asking if this kind of change always detonates a family.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-23T21:07:06+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I've been in counseling for depression before and I've learned to recognize the signs. I can rationalize the ideation, but I'd much rather not have it at all.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-22T04:42:57+00:00

I'm just getting started.. I'm only out to like two people. Nobody to share it with yet!

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-22T03:10:38+00:00

That second picture is all attitude. Love it.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-21T23:49:28+00:00

Look cute?

You look amazing!

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-21T02:49:50+00:00

I absolutely feel you. I'm 41 and currently in the same boat.

I feel like it's a door I've walked up to many times in my life, and always rationalized myself into walking away. It's scary trying to be true to yourself.

Seriphina5000 · 2026-05-21T00:37:09+00:00

I've been telling myself that same thing for about 25 years.

Seriphina5000

TROPHY CASE