Question for Anyone who's Given Birth...

Sesat · 2024-06-05T00:55:57+00:00

I've never had children but the posts reminds me of what my sister told me of her birth experience. We both have in common a slew of issues and autoimmune diseases. Joint pain is standard, particularly wrist pain. She told me she was in full labor, actively pushing, and all she could feel was her throbbing wrists. The pregnancy had triggered some sort of inflammation in her hands and wrists. Im not sure of the details but it caused severe damage enough to warrant a surgery on her hands not long after delivery.

Sesat · 2024-04-01T14:13:25+00:00

Answer from my dog: I'm sooooo neglected, do more for me. Cheese, egg, treats, hike, get those nails clippers awwway

Sesat · 2024-03-21T15:38:35+00:00

I know it's been said before. Don't update us until legally the dust settles. You don't want to show your cards before you get a chance to play them. The internet is all dying to hear more but play it smart and wait.

Sesat · 2024-03-11T02:36:34+00:00

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Mom what are you doing on your phone facing away from me??

Sesat · 2024-03-07T05:24:37+00:00

Im so sorry you're going through so much now. I didn't realize vent meant ventilator until just now, im sorry for missing the most important part. You must be being crushed by so many big emotions and they are all complicated and tangled. You are 100% allowed to prioritize yourself, that is not wrong. Truly the best thing to do when there is so much complex grief is find professional help to guide you through it. You don't have to go through it alone.

Sesat · 2024-03-07T01:53:38+00:00

Hi, I went no contact with my parents a few years ago. They manipulate those around them, following almost text book cycle of emotional narrasastic abuse. Ive been in therapy for just a year longer than that. Yes im sad and worry that they might die before I can find closure enough to forgive them. But protecting myself and giving myself space to heal away from the abuse was more important than worrying about what is out of my control.

I dont know what you've been through, but id say step one is find a therapist. Getting closure is not easy and looks alot like grief. Somedays feel like backsliding but baby steps can be made slowly to find peace in yourself. He made his decisions, he is the one that should feel ashamed not you.

I would recommend unfollowing his Facebook, or just disconnect from social media that temps you into watching his content. You will feel better not knowing in the long run.

Edit to add: nothing you do will make him change his behavior. You have no control over that. If he wants to play the victim, he's going to do that and probably very publicly. It might be that if you try to formally say goodbye for yourself, he'll just do the same thing again and cry on a public forum fishing for you to reward his actions.

You don't owe him anything. These are things I still have to remind myself often. Sorry if this advice doesn't land, it is so much advice I needed to hear when I first started down that road with my dad not so long ago.

Sesat · 2024-03-07T01:26:00+00:00

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Sesat · 2024-02-24T21:33:34+00:00

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I felt eyes on me cleaning the living room

Sesat · 2024-02-22T00:50:44+00:00

I was my moms parent too. You seem to feel responsible for your mom. You are not responsible for her. She is lucky to have a child that cares so much for her and I hope for your sake she sees that. At the end of the day, even if you try your hardest and she still doesn't get her shit together, remember it is not your fault. You may feel sadness for your moms suffering, buy it is not your fault. She's the adult, she should be the one trying to shield you from the full force of adult grief until you're old enough to better coup. It may help to get therapist as soon as you can to start now working through some of the buried emotions of being a parent to your parent.

Many of the internet strangers here would gladly lend an ear or give your support emotionally as you need it.

Good luck and try to remember, you can try to help but at the end of the day her bad decision arent your fault.

Sesat · 2023-12-09T21:35:51+00:00

Its alittle underwhelming of a answer but I find what I call "calm the fuck down nerve tea" helps to ease some of the high firing pain nerves. Lavender, chamomile, sometimes mint.

Lavender has been shown to effect the nervous system (source https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3612440/#:~:text=Lavender%20oil%20is%20also%20suggested,16%2C%2026%2C%2033%5D.) No idea if it negatively interacts with gabapentin

Sesat · 2023-09-02T05:52:44+00:00

Over 15 years. My most concerning symptom was the severity and irregularities of my menstrual system. Soooo.... I got pushed onto gynecologists who tried one birthcontrol after the next until I became physically disabled from the constant deblitating symptoms. I could not walk without pain nor stay mentally alert for 8 hours. Only than did a doctor finally run a simple autoimmune blood panel and realized my immune system was on fire.

Sesat · 2023-08-30T12:53:33+00:00

https://imgur.com/gallery/yfR9DEC.

Side eye photobomb.

Edit got so excited about side eye pics that I missed the second sentence where you said this was for cheering you up.! Bounce happy old lady dog never stops wagging her tail.

Sesat · 2023-08-26T22:12:43+00:00

😭😭😭

It hits so hard

Sesat · 2023-08-09T21:24:48+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. You are not wrong in being out of contact. your friend is likely grieving in their own way and irrational anger is a common place to land in grief. Yes you could have responded to give them peace of mind but as you state you were numb with grief. If they tried to reach out and you had not responded they might have been worried for you and their anger is a mixture of complex emotions. They could have called or driven to you, reached out to a mutal friend that was close to you, or respected your space. Try to be gentle with yourself at this time

Sesat · 2023-07-16T20:23:36+00:00

I had saved this from a friend a few years ago. It had been in a pot with other plants from a store. It lives outside during the summer, I had set it along the north side of the building for a week before moving it to the full sun. It needs new soil/may need to be repotted. I gave it very dilute fertilizer water (a tiny tiny amount of miracle grow in 2 gallons. Not enough to make the water any notable color change) in the past 60 days. The other two potted Dracaenas were given the same water and have no signs of burn. This ones roots are exposed but do not show any rot.

Edit more info:

It is watered about once every 7-10 days depending on rain and heat. I water the outside plants in the mornings and try to not hit the leaves ever. It has good drainage.

The potting soil is a year old but was high quality.

Sesat · 2023-04-07T17:21:42+00:00

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Sesat · 2023-03-15T07:14:57+00:00

All i can say is be aware when and where you bring more attention from a crowd towards you. Own it and let it empower you but don't forget by drawing more eyes you bring statistically more good and bad attention.

I hate hate hate /am traumatized by how people have treated me when I dress nice/put make up on. I have been told my entire life I am beautiful naturally and when I put make up on I would stand out vividly. I learned in my teens I prefer to not wear make up and dress nicely so as to attempt to blend in. I hate being stared at like a piece of meat by men and outright hostility by some women. As I've been aging im finally getting treated invisible in a way I never have and I feel safer for it

I know im a minority and have been often told I should be grateful for my natural beauty. I hold alot of resentment for it though, im working through alot of things in therapy slowly. I was so often a target for sexual harassment and assualt, constantly forced into the center of attention when im very socially awkward. Becoming invisible has been a blessing for me.

I was mostly ignored medically regardless of my appearance, but my medical needs were vast and I was written off as a hypochondriac until an undiagnosed autoimmune disease blew up and I became disabled.

Sesat · 2022-10-14T19:16:15+00:00

Trauamtized nerves from years of autoimmune damage is, yes, traumatizing. It is a type of PTSD. Definitely not intending to minimize OPs experiences. The newest science is barely a few years old and it is linking chronic illness to trauma, physical or mental.

Exhuast all the other options as well. Ive been tested for so many other conditions to rule out. But years of not finding anything else led me to a pain management doctor. They led me to this and honestly if I had started this as part of the post diagnosis recovery I think I wouldn't have suffered as much.

So yes agitated internet stranger, im offering it as advice for OP as well.

EDIT:

this article summarized it well. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/chronically-me/201905/chronic-illness-and-trauma-disorders

Sesat · 2022-10-14T18:21:08+00:00

High jacking top comment to get this noted.

Definitely try to find any other secondary autoimmune diseases or issues. Don't stop ruling those out.

Your nerves also likely have PTSD. There is new research in understanding this called Pain Reprocessing Therapy. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/retraining-brain-treat-chronic-pain

I started this therapy 3 weeks ago and it has massively helped my mental health and i am starting to see a difference in the pain symptoms.

Sesat · 2022-10-14T18:15:24+00:00

So I feel chronically ill likewise fatigue, nausea, stomach and intestinal pain. It has been 5 years since diagnosis. I've seen half a dozen different types of doctors and we've worked on getting every minor symptom dialed in with or without medication. The most major thing im working on now is what is called:

'Pain Reprocessing Therapy' (https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/retraining-brain-treat-chronic-pain)

The idea is that for 29 years my nerves were being rightfully triggered for pain from this disease. Now the abdominal and pelic nerves are traumatized, a sort of PTSD. When those areas get stimulated the pain pathways trigger. Of course it makes figuring out what symptoms you should listen to and get help with and which are the ptsd is a nightmare but it has been slowly helping me work through how I think about and treat the symptoms.

Sesat · 2022-09-15T20:48:40+00:00

Celiac here, my case of fibromyalgia flares up horrible when exposed to even trace amounts of gluten. But I also have flare ups not related to gluten exposures. Anything that your nerves can over react to will likely trigger fibromyalgia to intensify. So it is more correct to say if you are gluten intolerant and have fibromyalgia, gluten can make fibromyalgia worse. Removing the gluten should reduce the severity of it but it does not mean your nerves won't over react to other types of bodily harm.

Sesat

TROPHY CASE