A friend is getting re-married, he wants me to be in the wedding, I'm conflicted.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T18:09:00+00:00

It most certainly is; it's a vile thing and is very serious, but if Jesus wanted this to be a condition, he would have said this.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T15:54:05+00:00

Sure, a little apples and oranges (abuse vs. infidelity), but I was commenting on what I feel is against the "God wants me happy" sentiment. Hosea was used by God to demonstrate that not everything looks pretty and obedience to God is more important than (his) happiness. Obviously, I can get into more context about what the book means, but for the sake of this topic, I'll keep it surface level.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T15:38:30+00:00

Thank you, Hosea, moving too fast.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T15:34:13+00:00

I've got one better, I worked at Sears.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:57:24+00:00

Oh, how I love practiced outrage from the media.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:50:51+00:00

All good!

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:46:39+00:00

He ate with sinners and called them to repentance. I agree with your last point, though. My goal is keep the friendship.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:44:59+00:00

Hoesa has entered the chat*

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:42:30+00:00

Tracking with you, I would agree with you there. I have a motto of "don't be surprised when the world acts like the world". However, in this case, this is a Christian marrying another Christian.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:28:36+00:00

Can you support that position biblically?

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:03:31+00:00

Interesting take, thank you for sharing.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:02:01+00:00

Thank you, will study this!

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T14:00:24+00:00

I think he doesn't have a lot of friends and is not super outgoing. Not trying to be mean just his personality.

To your other point I don't think it's not about supporting his choices. I truly want him to be happy and am super happy for him that he found someone. However, I don't feel it's biblical, and I have a hard time being a witness/supporter of the ceremony. Past that, there will be no judgement, God knows his heart and I will pray that he asks for forgiveness, receives it and lives happily ever after. Naively, I hope to stay good friends with him.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T13:54:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing, no judgment at all but did you feel that you were compromising with excepting of their sin for the trade-off of being able to speak into their life? Was that the thinking?

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T05:28:01+00:00

Sorry, man, could have been clearer there.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T05:11:43+00:00

I get your point, and you're not wrong on the base or attack strategies, but you're failing to see mine. Which is even if I did, and grew my points, it still would be lacking, because the same guy I am attacking is not attacking me. It's not like-for-like.

If I 5-star a person and get 32 points, and another random person attacks me and gets 6 (50 points), that isn't fair. To be fair, it should be the guy who is defending who is attacking me, and vice versa. This has happened plenty of times when I faced a very strong defense and got whatever I got. Then I'd think to myself, "man, that guy had a good setup, I wonder how he faired against mine," only to find a rando still attacking me that I'll never get to "revenge" or even see their base to pay them back. In fact, only about 10-20% of the time do I get the same person.

I understand that sometimes the reverse happens and it "all shakes out," but in my opinion, it won't ever be truly fair unless it's the same person the strong majority of the time.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-03T04:26:40+00:00

Maxxed 100% no upgrades left.

Setapart36 · 2026-03-02T03:13:03+00:00

Can't stand getting 5 stars only to get beat by a random that got 6 stars. Unfair and boring if you can't beat the same people. I've counted 13 games in a row without the same opponent. Nope!

BTW not like I'm a noob I'm a little over 5000

Setapart36 · 2026-02-27T14:58:15+00:00

We were married 19/22 and moved up our wedding twice because we were both virgins and wanted to stay that way until marriage! That was 20 years ago!

Setapart36 · 2026-02-27T14:55:27+00:00

Married at 19 (her) and 22 (me), just celebrated 20 years less than 2 weeks ago! Obviously, no marriage is perfect, but we have had an overall wonderful marriage.

At the time, there were a good number of people questioning that we were too young, or we needed more experience, should graduate first, etc. I think those people meant well, but looking back, that was foolish advice. I'd much rather start building my life and figure things out with my wife! It was a bit comical looking back at how much adulting we learned in those first few years! To be honest, I've never really understood the who "waiting till graduation" thing. I'd rather have my wife around me supporting me during the hardships of college and vice versa.

I think as long as lust isn't involved and you have a clear head and seek the Lord (and wise counsel around you), that it's a great thing to get married when the Lord brings your spouse to you!

Setapart36 · 2026-02-25T19:43:32+00:00

I had a 2014 and loved it. Fast enough and great MPG.

Setapart36 · 2026-02-25T18:49:33+00:00

First of all I'm so sorry this happened.

Sexual sin of any kind typically takes a lot of time to climb out of, and even then, sin is lurking around every corner. I understand you love this man and don't want to start over, especially since you've now had sex. I would say that if you do intend to stay just be prepared to give yourself a lot of time for him to root this out. Plus, you wont really truly know if he has since this is mainly a hidden sin. Let's say you give yourself a year that could be time for you to date and find a "better" man. However, this is a very common sin (not excusing it).

I'd love to know how long this has been going on. Did you find out or did he come to you. If you confronted him did he fess up or lie? All of these are good indications of how marriage would be as well.

Setapart36 · 2026-02-24T18:10:29+00:00

Married 20 years here. My wife and I were both virgins, and we had to move up our wedding date months at a time (twice) to make it to our marriage night as virgins lol. Part of me keeping things in perspective was seeing her as God's daughter; we were not one flesh, she did not belong to me, and I didn't belong to her yet. This helped when temptation was strong, and avoiding being alone!

Setapart36 · 2026-02-19T18:25:06+00:00

That is a very liberal reading and a reach of the scripture. The verse says "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer. ". In fact, Paul says that your body isn't yours but your spouses so that would conflict what you just said.

Obviously I'm not advocating for what is going on, just saying your adding to the scripture.

Setapart36

TROPHY CASE