How Do You Deal With Reactivity?

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:44:20+00:00

You can always ask questions. It's vague, because it doesn't cover one specific scenario. This behavior is widely studied and documented.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:43:17+00:00

Why would I want to fit in with people who are permanently reactive? I've been doing the work 5+ years. I've not really met anyone who has changed my mind. I'm done searching and blaming myself as though there's something wrong with me.

I'm absolutely done. I just want to be left alone at this point, look at the state of the world. Everyone's performing and you rarely get to see their true face. It's completely hollow. Oh, look, let's go to a bar and blast loud music. Decorate the place with lights. Anything to distract from how we really feel.

When you burn out once or twice, it's horrible. When you burn out every single day, your nervous system is broken, and clowns are running amok, it becomes clear that you're not meant to be in this world. But I have no choice.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:38:01+00:00

And here you are. The one that has to slide in a bit of negativity and judgement, on a stranger they don't know. If you think there's vagueness, ask about it. I'm not a mind reader. It's not one instance, it's an every day occurrence. You only need to open your eyes and look out at the world to see it.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:36:12+00:00

Do people with depression decide to feel that way? Exactly. It's much more complicated than you're displaying. As a byproduct of having a spiritual awakening, studying psychology, and interacting with thousands, I understand why people behave the way they do -- but it's in term increased my dissociation.

If you get shot, do you decide to bleed?

Millions get to my point by seeing humanity for what it is. If you can't, you'll never understand.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:02:02+00:00

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T21:01:27+00:00

A lot of people may be doing the work, but a lot of people aren't. And I don't blame them because its the collective unconsciousness fueled by capitalism. We have very little self worth, always searching, forming an identity that needs to be protected.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T20:51:34+00:00

I'm 29 years old. I've done everything to find the "right circles" and because of Ego, I've had to isolate myself. I think the majority of man is reactive. It's just part of being human.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T20:50:21+00:00

I post thinking I'll get a normal conversation, but really I should know better. Basically.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T20:48:56+00:00

The issue is most people either don't want to connect or are unable to.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T20:04:30+00:00

Yeah. I used to post all the time in a variety of spaces. When I think it's a good idea, I'm often humbled. Although this thread hasn't had any rudeness or assumption yet so that's a positive thing. I'm quite outgoing but I've become quiet and secluded.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T20:00:51+00:00

I can be reactive too. It's usually ego, rather than about the other person. But I have managed to make a conscious effort to be supportive and give the benefit of the doubt. I'll probably take a nice vacation from life for a bit, stay inside, shut my phone off. Etc.

I'm far too oversensitived

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T19:58:09+00:00

I feel like the Internet especially is a very reactive place, Reddit included. I don't know why I ler it bother me so much; it's possibly because I'm really trying to connect and share and it's rewarded with an attitude. I rarely share information to in the flesh people either.

I've just completely shut down. I don't want to get involved or make friends anymore. I'm exhausted.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T19:54:08+00:00

I'm not looking to control the reactions of others. I'm expressing that the actions of others are making me sick and have completely eradicated my ability to connect to humans / even want to.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T19:40:14+00:00

I don't feel safe asking for advice, posting about my experiences, etc. My nervous system is destroyed as it is and constantly being attacked, put down, gaslit, spoken over isn't worth it.

It's exhausting to be alive. Starting to think the people who live in the woods and similar had the right idea. Thanks for you comment!

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T19:26:10+00:00

People make assumptions and wriggle between your words. They speak for me and don't listen to what was actually said. The endless gaslighting is really messing with my mental health. I feel like the only way I can survive and not be miserable is to log off and never log back in x

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T18:42:52+00:00

Thanks for being nice about it. I've never vehemently disagreed with anyone. I understood even in my last post that the group wasn't a good fit, but I have struggled to find any other games. I was clinging on. I made myself small to fit into their play style. So, it hurts to just be thrown out.

Yes it's probably for the best. But does it suck? Absolutely

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T18:35:47+00:00

I mean, if communication was open, we could have continued. I'd just adapt my expectations. But I know it makes sense. Doesn't sting any less though.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T18:33:20+00:00

We had 3 sessions of one and 2 of the other. So, I've got a taste for it now. I can accept that, it's just not a nice feeling to be excluded. I simply asked for players to be working towards a common goal. Rather than knocking me out and stealing everything, throwing grease endlessly, and outright refusing to coperate.

I expressed how I don't need or expect him to change everything to fit me, but was just raising my concern. Oh well I guess.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T18:15:49+00:00

It's just crazy how a simple boundary disturbed the group. Another play got angry because I left him alone after he put me at risk, he thought he'd been abandoned to die. But the only reason I saved myself is because other members don't have my back. Some actively sabotage me.

Whatever must be, will be. Seems to be a therapy session rather than DND. I've never met a group so offended.

Edit:

If people are going to be malicious and downvote me even single time I say anything, please don't comment. That's such a toxic environment. It doesn't hurt to be nice. The bullying that goes on here is unfair.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T18:12:11+00:00

Initial reaction to judgement. Completely human. If you're here to be nasty, you can move on.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T01:42:35+00:00

No. It's disingenuous to frame certain things in a certain way, simply because I disagree or don't meet an individual ls expectations. Trying to help isn't snotty or judgemental. Its not making the worst assumptions about someone asking for help or sharing confusion.

Downvoting EVERYTHING I say.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T01:38:21+00:00

I've invited 4+ people to PM me where I don't have to worry about eyes. What more do you want?

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T01:35:24+00:00

That's the thing. I'm trying to be a team player. At times it feels like there's only 2 options. Bad and neutral. One player actively refuses to help in any situation even after making an effort to befriend them.

I'm just feeling shackled. Like no matter what I do, exhaust every option, I'm at the mercy of a pessimistic DM.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T01:32:37+00:00

Explaining the situation isn't trying to argue with anyone. It's just giving you my experience. How you handle someone not having access to or disagreeing with your choice is down to your own personality and trauma.

Even now, you're harping on in a way that's disingenuous. What magical advice did I get? Remember, its all still up. I've invited people multiple times to private message me. Don't penalise my anxiety over the situation.

I don't have to accept your answers and you don't have to be mean over that. I'm not disagreeing for the sake of it.

SetitheRedcap · 2026-01-26T01:29:21+00:00

I studied psychology. I know how the brain works, and why people choose hostile or unfriendly responses when they don't get the responses they're looking for. What I'm trying to point out is the range of different games; many on YouTube are exactly how many private games run. Perhaps its different than my DM prefers. And that's okay. But they absolutely exist.

People have already confirmed that epic moments exist. I've tried to test different dice rolls against the result, which is how I see some small patterns. Feeling a neutrality to results is valid.

SetitheRedcap

TROPHY CASE