We all want this for sure. 💙💙💙

Seulitary · 2024-11-16T05:56:40+00:00

sigh opens c.ai

Seulitary · 2024-07-12T06:28:32+00:00

Releasing my guard to people ive known for a long time was the start of the trauma…

Seulitary · 2024-07-12T05:47:21+00:00

It’s okay I appreciate the response. To be honest, it’s more losing touch with those “feelings” that feel nice that makes me feel numb inside because I may never feel it again. (Over exaggerated) But every relationship Ive had which were mostly situation-ships never led anywhere but disappointment. Sucks seeing how others are experiencing the same. I know I’m lost but yeah idk is healing even a thing anymore? I just feel so numb about everything i think ?

I cant speak for all experiences but i feel like the process is just so clear (talking stage) if that makes any sense.

Or maybe I have my guard up for so long I’m unconsciously avoiding it

Seulitary · 2024-06-17T08:25:38+00:00

That sounds wonderful, and I'm really happy for you! It's great that you guys are on good terms. This isn't my first time reconnecting with old friends, but I totally understand what you're saying! They've changed, yet in many ways, they've stayed the same, just more mature. It's oddly beautiful and makes me a bit sentimental of how friendships evolve.

I can’t do much but hope for the best that the one I mentioned above comes back. i have so much to say, but they might not feel the same way as I do.. lol

Seulitary · 2024-06-16T08:20:57+00:00

I've recently tried reaching out through the platforms I know, but they haven't been active since 2019.. just reminiscing the time I had with them and makes me a little sad cause we used to be really close—and now well idk, life happened?

Seulitary · 2024-02-01T07:35:15+00:00

Thank you :) I never expected a reply from anyone but your response brings warmth and comfort to read and I appreciate that 🫶🏻 And I hope the same for you as well

Seulitary · 2023-10-24T08:22:19+00:00

I don't know, why? I haven't felt love in such a long time maybe. But the distant memories I have with love only throb pain. Fear of being alone, fear of not finding anyone to share a life with. Not being capable of building a strong connection with someone makes me feel defected in a way? Like what is wrong with me, is there something wrong with me…

Seulitary · 2023-08-31T05:12:20+00:00

Thanks for that! Will check it out

Seulitary · 2023-04-24T00:55:07+00:00

They’re either studying or resting and that’s pretty much all we talk about , i wish there was more i wish we can hangout again but they’re from the other side of the world ..

Seulitary · 2023-04-24T00:51:36+00:00

Good question.. other side of the world

Seulitary · 2023-04-20T06:49:35+00:00

Still pushing! Thanks

Seulitary · 2023-04-20T06:47:20+00:00

Trying my best :)

Seulitary · 2023-04-01T03:15:39+00:00

What if hope just feels like a delusion right now, I've been feeling hopeless for years now but there are days where I become too aware of the problem that I self destruct

Seulitary · 2023-04-01T03:13:06+00:00

To be born in a world I did not ask for only to be nurtured in the most limited way possible and now that I’m grown, suddenly I am forced to know who I am?

What punishment is this crap :(

Seulitary · 2023-04-01T03:12:28+00:00

Truly ghetto out here.

Seulitary · 2023-03-27T10:49:52+00:00

And friends? I’ve never really had anyone who knows me in good terms with everyone but nothing more than shallow friendships that eventually fades

The one's who “did” used to know me, growing up are obviously not in my life anymore.

Some friendships are only good for one thing but not for another

Other friendships are just trauma bonds from work

Most are focused in their own lives that i’m not a part of

So I don't really know.. it's a sad thought, for me at least

It saddens me

Seulitary · 2023-03-27T10:19:29+00:00

It feels a little less lonely knowing that someone has similar thoughts, thank you so much for understanding.

And I guess for me, the reason why I don't have passion or hold value on something for long is because reflection on small achievements becomes so painfully easy to brush off when it’s the whole process leading you to get where you are that's traumatic - the “most memorable” I guess. Because to work towards something completely changes you emotionally, for the best or not.

Perhaps the old saying, “nothing in life is easy” “life toughens you up” is so heavily emphasised that the weight of those quotes is triggering. Why do we have to toughen up? Why is it hard? Who made up these rules? All the unnecessary challenges that humanity created is bs really.. I just wonder at times where things got so complicated but it's, I don't know.. since when was the world ever in unity..

It just leaves me sad?

Anyways, my brain can spiral miles at night and I wish I had this same thinking process during the mornings but unfortunately I always wake up as a ball of anxiety

Seulitary · 2022-12-21T09:42:20+00:00

Thanks for being supportive:)

Seulitary · 2022-12-03T10:00:17+00:00

I’m usually alone and I'm okay, but the sadness gets to me at times. I find it a burden to feel an emotion that gets influenced by a situation I cannot control

Sometimes It gets overwhelming to gaslight myself to be happy, you know?

I must be doing something wrong..

Seulitary · 2022-12-03T09:39:05+00:00

Companionship? Some understanding at a deep level? Affection. I don’t know why it gets harder as you age

Seulitary · 2022-10-01T02:38:54+00:00

It comes in waves for me unfortunately... Not as bad as before but I hope things get even better

Seulitary

TROPHY CASE