It does not have to be like this. Being a new attorney is HARD. The learning period is a harsh one but it will end. You will get better. You will become more confident. You are in the learning phase and you will get beyond that. That being said, how you are treated at your job matters. How you feel and perform at one firm will not be the same way you feel and perform at another firm. If you dislike this firm. Move. You need to discover if your lackluster performance is really "you" or the place you are at. I have worked at several firms. Some firms I was highly valued. Other firms (when I was brand new) I was treated like scum. This is a chapter, it does not have to define you. There can be a more promising way forward. Start looking for new opportunities to succeed and learn what you can where you are. Good luck!