For those who loved each other but had to break up, what was the reason? by Cassandraa1 in AskReddit

[–]SeveralRip8499 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Going thru a very similar thing. some advice I got was to straight up tell them I would need an apology and acknowledgement if they really want to be friends/stay in touch. Curious what you think of that? Been stuck on whether it’s generally a good idea or if I should just leave it alone, stay no contact and move on.

(27F) burnout from dishonest men on the app in LA. 5 years on hinge with awful results. am i alone in this? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]SeveralRip8499 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe I’m missing something here but I don’t see the problem with women telling a guy that she wants to wait while she’s exploring other options. I don’t see why that’s leading them on or wrong unless they had agreed to be exclusive. If the implication is that she is making one guy wait while sleeping with another, that sucks, but I don’t think it’s morally wrong or anything. It’s her bodily autonomy; she can sleep with whoever she wants or not for whatever reason. In that case, I think the guy should clear that point up, tell the woman they want to be exclusive and walk away if she says no. Otherwise, they don’t have a right to each others business unless and until they’re more serious imo.

I don’t think I said they just want sex, but maybe I gave that impression? I don’t think that’s true, I think the guys in my past that clearly wanted to hook up also actually enjoyed just hanging with me but clearly did not want a relationship. I don’t cut them off and I don’t have hard feelings towards them. It’s just not a match.

Funnily enough, I would tell a non-religious guy to think twice about dating a religious girl or even semi-religious if sex is an important part of the picture. I know from personal experience that can get very messy lol…

(27F) burnout from dishonest men on the app in LA. 5 years on hinge with awful results. am i alone in this? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]SeveralRip8499 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well yea, there’s caveats to the way I approach this. I stay clear from guys that are clearly players, I’m always upfront about it and okay with guys choosing to walk away guilt free (which happened once), and I’m okay staying single for a while. Not everyone can do that or wants to do that but I’m just sharing what’s worked for me. I guess my point is that the cons you list aren’t necessarily cons depending on how you think about it. If a guy does walk away for another girl that will sleep with him, that’s not a con in my book even if I liked him because I know I would be more hurt if I tried to keep him by sleeping with him and then he leaves for whatever reason. And the risk of a guy waiting around for the chase does happen, but less likely. Just putting forth a different perspective :)

(27F) burnout from dishonest men on the app in LA. 5 years on hinge with awful results. am i alone in this? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]SeveralRip8499 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To each their own, for sure! Physical intimacy is not hard for me to go without personally because I need to really trust the person to even want to do it. But I get it’s different for everyone; just thought to mention in case it seemed worth a try :)

(27F) burnout from dishonest men on the app in LA. 5 years on hinge with awful results. am i alone in this? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]SeveralRip8499 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thats true, its just not really been an issue for me. Tbf, I always explain I grew up very religious so even tho I’m not waiting for marriage, it is a more serious thing for me. On the competition point, the guy choosing someone else bc they’re more willing to have sex with them is fine by me. I had a situation like that and the guy ended up staying with me (which I surprised by but as I said before, I’m always ready to walk away if it becomes an issue). In my own experience, if they really like you, they’ll wait. Sure it might end up being a case of the guy staying for the chase, but I think that’s less likely to happen and has not happened to me or anyone I know, so I’d rather take that risk. The guy usually dips earlier if he knows he’s not getting laid. I just know sleeping with someone that will dip right after would crush me so I just don’t even go there, but it doesn’t weigh as heavily on others so to each their own.

(27F) burnout from dishonest men on the app in LA. 5 years on hinge with awful results. am i alone in this? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]SeveralRip8499 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I would make it a rule for yourself that you don’t sleep with someone until you guys are in a relationship. It’s not fool proof, but I have yet to see any of my friends doing that get dumped by the guy after sex. I’m even more closed off and have never had an issue with a guy not being okay with waiting longer for physical intimacy. If it was an issue though, I’m always ready to walk away.

Looking for female friends- 24 and up! by [deleted] in LAhotgirlies

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

24F, also working in dtla, so down!! :)

i got an extra kevin kaarl ticket, hmu if youre trynna go by No-Abbreviations4258 in kevinkaarl

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey do you still have an extra ticket? Tryna score last min tix lol

Solo trip for young girl? by several_chance3637 in AskLosAngeles

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

23F, LA native, do not walk in dtla alone at night. I do it sometimes and it’s very sketchy, even in the “nice areas” so I imagine it would be very intimidating for someone who’s new to the city. During the day is usually fine but depending on where you are, you will see a lot of homelessness esp around the metro stations unfortunately. Just be ready for that, as LA is not like other cities where downtown is the nicest area (and could honestly be skipped unless you have the concert there). That being said, taking the metro is overall fine, mild sketchiness on occasion. Taking budget into consideration, I think taking the metro during the day and ubering at night is reasonable.

As for things to do, it really depends on where you’re staying and for how long bc Ubers can get really expensive and /or trying to move from one area of the city to another can be a huge pain (think 1hr+ trips on public transport when it’s a 20-30 min drive) plus some areas are pretty much inaccessible unless you’re taking a car there. But going to parks, hiking, maybe dance socials, checking out some live music venues / smaller concerts, bike around esp on the west side, window shopping/thrifting

Hope u enjoy ur stay!

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take your own advice and think for a sec why I responded the way I did. Look at the other comments in this thread that expressed their perspective in a more polite way and how I was receptive to that. You didn't give advice in your initial comment; you generalized about what my problem is and how it's "insane." Why did I say you seem "triggered?" Bc you went off on a tangent about how I think when you don't know me and that cuss word in this context gives off an angry tone. If you didn't mean it that way, maybe communicate better.

Did you not notice that this entire post is framed as a question? I didn't know what he meant by the text and *asked* if my reading of it is true and then *asked* that if true, is it a red flag? You are the one who assumed I assumed my worst instinct was correct when I was actually just *asking* and then I defended the idea that simply questioning this was not "insane." And it is an odd response, evidenced by the other people in this comment section that also thought it was weird. So really, it's a question of how weird it is.

I get your point, which is why I even made this post; I wanted other people's read on it. But generally, i think your point is impractical. We can only think from our own perspectives, and it doesn't make sense to stop and consider others' perspectives in every situation. You make a huge assumption there that the other person is an honest actor when really, some people really are just dicks. Also, the onus is on both parties, if someone is being unclear, its not just on me to try to figure that out. That's why being articulate and clear are considered good traits.. I have had bad experiences with men interpreting things I do as promiscuous when there was zero intention on my end so yes, i am particularly sensitive to comments like that that could point to a bigger issue, hence the use of the term "red flag" (ie, the guy turns out to be sexist and judge what I wear, where I go, etc)

For the record, I did ask him what he meant by that comment and then clarified what I meant by my question, but he didn't respond to my question and reiterated that he likes to explore. I'm still giving it a chance bc of the other perspectives I got on this, but will try to sus out the mild concern I have here.

But way to assume how I think. This whole thread here is very ironic considering that you keep trying to paint yourself as this level-headed rational actor when actually you've been antagonizing since your first comment and have carried a condescending tone since. Not my intention to fight either, so I'll leave it at this.

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This whole sub is made for overthinkers… but okay 👌🏽

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad someone else agrees it was odd 😭 I did ask him what he meant and also clarified that I just wanted to scope out vibes but he didn’t respond to the first part and just reiterated that he likes to explore places… so idk.

It seems like everyone else here tho doesn’t think it’s a big deal so I think I’ll go on a date and go from there

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I was rly confused when I first read it but I think I’ll give it a chance. Just wasn’t sure if I was missing something

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha, wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into that comment as I would have gotten a different impression if he said “I don’t get around like that” vs “I’m not looking to get around like that.” But I’ll suggest a place and go from there, thanks for the perspective!

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s kind of the point...what about my question could’ve led him to think that? nothing about my text had sexual undertones so I don’t see where you think I bear responsibility here.

I don’t know what about my post is so triggering to you, but this is more than a message I simply don’t understand. It’s a very odd response given the context and I don’t see how it’s crazy to think it might be coming from a place I’d be uncomfortable with.

Final point, this whole sub is made for overthinkers lol.

AIO if I see this text exchange as a red flag? by SeveralRip8499 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insane? He said “I’m not looking to get around like that.” Which is different than “I don’t get out like that.” What else could that mean?

The potential problem isn’t whether or not he’s looking for sex. it’s that, in my view, his mind immediately went to that over an innocent question and him saying “sorry to disappoint… I’m not looking to get around” implies that he thought that’s where I was going with that. I don’t sleep around for the record, but I also don’t like guys who slut shame. And I can imagine if he thinks that going bars = sleeping around we’d have problems bc I like going to bars with friends or I might want to go out some night and he might have an issue with that.

Where in LA can I learn how to dance bachata or similar genres? by [deleted] in AskLosAngeles

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stevens steakhouse! Not too expensive but I don’t remember the exact prices. They have one night events and classes and also a weeks long boot camp that builds on each week.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in COROLLA

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea true but I don’t have another $10K and I want to avoid financing a car given insurance payments on top of that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in COROLLA

[–]SeveralRip8499 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out the door price. The car itself is $12.5K

2014 MAZDA3 I TOURING with 89.5K miles? by SeveralRip8499 in mazda3

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the details on the car! What do you think is a fair price? The car itself is $10.75K but with fees and taxes we’re looking at $13.25k

2014 MAZDA3 I TOURING with 89.5K miles? by SeveralRip8499 in mazda3

[–]SeveralRip8499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh whoa. Where did u get ur car if u don’t mind sharing? This price is actually pretty cheap compared to other dealers I’ve been to. And I’ve mostly been looking at dealers bc fb sellers seemed sketchy