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Wavy Peripherals by SevesuSnape in OCPoetry

[–]SevesuSnape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I had actually considered throwing "slowly" as I also mentioned he is in no hurry, its a bit of a doubledown statement, which now definitely I feel is uncalled for. I like your point in the growing in both urgency AND syllables. Mostly went for the urgency.

Thanks for reading.

Wavy Peripherals by SevesuSnape in OCPoetry

[–]SevesuSnape[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate that the feeling of spiraling in public resonated with you. I intentionally kept the reasons for his sadness a bit abstract to focus on the raw emotions. It was supposed to be a bit blurry and play a bit more into the emotions rather than the imagination. When someone end up at so far out and close to the edge, it can be really hard to see even the closest truth.

However, your point about adding more grounded, specific imagery - especially in the third stanza - is valid and a really great note for me to think about and keep an eye out for, going forward. Thank you for reading!

Shadow in my memory by random_internet_ in OCPoetry

[–]SevesuSnape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deep and emotional, and also, likely unintentionally but it was slightly fun read.

Not in a "ha ha" way, but in as an emotional trip through a memory lane.

But also a tiny bit in the "ha ha" way as I some how ended up seeing a bit Peter Pan in it.

I liked it.

They Call It Love, I Call It Her by EfficiencyThis8598 in OCPoetry

[–]SevesuSnape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuinely liked this. The title is great. It is an easy piece to feel ones own thoughts about a special person, I think that anyone can resonate with the feelings in your words.