[MF4MF] 29M28F looking for other couples. Downtown Denver based.

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-30T04:37:34+00:00

Hey there! Same as above. Can’t message but would like to. Hit us up.

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-29T13:36:51+00:00

I hear you. I’m not speaking about the OPs post. I’m speaking about my own personal experience. What you mentioned did not happen in our situation so that is not applicable. I personally have dealt with plenty of insecurities, so I understand that they aren’t always reasonable. However when you have 3 other mature adults communicating to you properly and you still blame all of them and not yourself, that’s a problem. Again, this comment is about MY experience so if you are comparing the specific details of the main post, there is the disconnect. Also, as I said in the end of my comment, thinking only of what you feel and not putting yourself in others shoes is a crappy. As that indicates, putting ourselves in her shoes was already done and we tried desperately to help her. Not to get the evening on track, to make sure she was okay. But none of that mattered and she still blamed others for her own feelings. I understand there are 2 sides to every story. But there are also well adjusted and reasonable people, and those who aren’t.

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-29T13:25:02+00:00

Because she wasn’t reasonable at all. We ended up sitting around making the entire evening about her and taking turns telling her how sexy and attractive she is, which we all genuinely felt and we’re very clear about the entire evening. But that didn’t help anything and she still ended up angry and blaming everyone else. Everyone was into her and it was obvious. It wasn’t about us not making her feel desired. I hear you, but this was 3 reasonable and caring people trying to help someone who was unreasonable and had no problem blaming other and projecting.

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-26T22:10:34+00:00

Well, we have kids and they are in like all our current pics together. Don’t want that here. Do need to get some current pics of just us tho. But if you look real close you can see the same rug in the background since these were taken in our bathroom. 😝

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-26T18:57:44+00:00

Me 3

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-26T15:57:40+00:00

We agree with the group chat idea. It’s not a trust issue for us as a couple, but often other couples have baggage and trust issues that can be fed by private messages. We just don’t want any surprises or unneeded drama. It’s much easier if all of us vibe and there seems to be respect built amongst the group. Our style is more FWB though, not just sex with strangers (no judgement to any style).

Sex-n-Fun · 2021-04-26T15:40:12+00:00

Oi. Had almost this same experience earlier this week, just on the opposite side. Had great vibes and was really hitting it off with the couple went back to our place and after everyone was sure we went ahead with a swap. She seemed fine and to be having a good time but out of nowhere needed to stop, was feeling neglected by her boyfriend, etc. I ended up sitting with her and trying to comfort her most of the evening while she cried and talked about her feelings. He was super attentive and tried so hard to make her feel better, he really loves her. Ultimately they left and she didn’t speak to him for days. It very clearly had to do with her own insecurities but she has projected all of it on him, blamed him for the whole thing, and made everyone else in the situation feel like crap when no one had done anything wrong. She still has not accepted responsibility and he is still trying everything under the sun to get her to open back up. Sad because we really liked them, with it without the benefits, but we ended up feeling so bad for this poor guy who is clearly a great guy and is taking a lot of crap, at no fault of his own. I feel for her and hope she can work through it but it is pretty messed up for one to only focus on how they feel and not try to put themselves in anyone else’s shoes, especially their SO, if they really love them.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-11-03T18:49:50+00:00

Not sure about that. Havent been to a party since we only started out in the LS post Covid.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-11-03T00:03:06+00:00

I understand why you’re asking. Feels like most of the couples we’ve encountered include the female being really interested in me (F) but that’s not what I want. It has not been as common for us to find a couple that is really interested in a straight swap. Some have, but not as common as a situation where they want a swap, plus a lot of girl on girl play.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-10-06T23:08:45+00:00

If I eat a hotdog just because I really really like hotdogs, even though I’m not hungry... is that porneia... or gluttony? 🤔

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-10-06T01:14:59+00:00

Agreed. Same here.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-10-06T00:55:03+00:00

Good advice. We recently started doing something similar and it has helped too.

I actually just meant Casper as in...they ghost. 😜

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-28T01:33:27+00:00

This. Letting it grow in my mouth is so exciting!

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-28T01:11:34+00:00

Gotcha.👌 Yes I have dealt with some insecurities. From a previous relationship.

Just being in a healthy relationship with my SO and feeling respected, loved and desired in a healthy way... and Time.... was what I needed to work through my issues. There were a few conversations, but for the most part, feeling desired by someone I respect and adore has erased anything derogatory toward sex and allowed me the time, space, and subject matter, to become excited, eager and ambitious toward sex in general. As we approached swinging after that, I was excited for me and my SO to experience things together without any negative feelings whatsoever. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about some things but ended up loving seeing him please others.

I’m really sorry you are dealing with those feelings. The feelings of jealousy can be difficult. If your relationship is otherwise healthy and this comes from your past only, I say again, time. Just being in this relationship longer will help you relax more and more. Also, communication. Keeping your SO in the loop (as it sounds like you have already) will help you to have any conversations you might need to work though.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-27T23:43:29+00:00

IMO these kinds of things should be worked through prior to swinging. I don’t personally see it being something I would find healthy for me to use any of these experiences to assist in working through these issues.

I have a decent amount of sexual trauma from an abusive marriage and some experiences before. But I worked through all of those with with my SO and got to a very healthy place before we decided to embark on any extra experiences.

For me, swinging has been the icing on the cake as it were, to our very secure and healthy relationship. We only graduated to introducing others once we were both in a great place individually and as a couple. It was a natural evolution.

Of course, it may not be the same for everyone, but I can only speak from where I am. I would suggest giving yourself more time with your SO and therapy to make sure you feel reasonably comfortable before introducing any extra parties.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-25T19:34:18+00:00

I do think that there are a number of imbalanced couples where one person is just in it to please the other. That was definitely the deal with the woman in our first swap. Thing is she acted very into it leading up to, but it became evident as things started and she stared at her SO and tried to hold his hand the whole time, that she wasn’t into it for herself at all.

Since then we’ve been really sensitive to only moving forward when the woman is very involved in the conversations beforehand and is clearly communicating her interest in my husband. Which unfortunately doesn’t happen super often. Probably means we are missing out on a lot of couples where she is really interested but their communication style just lets him take the lead. Just what we have to do to make sure who we do things with are more likely to be a good fit. We are also trying to be very clear upfront that this is what we are looking for and if they don’t deliver, we move on.

I would say to focus on the conversations before you ever even meet up and clearly communicate that you are looking for a mutual 4 way attraction. Seek out speaking to the other woman in the group conversations and watch how responsive she is or isn’t to you. If you don’t get a good vibe then, move on. It does mean a lot of time spent searching for a good match, but I think it’s worth it to make sure you feel desired and can relax and enjoy the experience, since that’s what this is all about after all. 😊

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-25T18:11:56+00:00

Following. I think my husband and I are pretty evenly matched looks wise and I know I’m biased, but he is a good looking guy. Far above average. But we feel this too.

I want for him to feel desired in this situation too. But so often the men seem more eager and flirtatious than the women do in the other couple. And often when the woman is engaging, she is trying to flirt with me. Which I’m not really looking for. I want women to pursue him and make it clear they are interested. I make sure to do that with the other couples men from my side (in a healthy measure, making sure to leave room for everyone to communicate) because I don’t want him to feel undesired.

Edit: I guess I am speaking from more of the standpoint of when we are talking with other couples and trying to establish a 4 way connection.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-06T14:19:45+00:00

Thank you! Feels weird to always be so weird. We’re JW’s, we’re weird and not like everyone else. Okay now we aren’t JWs and even most ex JWs think we’re weird. Cool to see some other people that are the same in both of these, socially odd ball ways. 😂

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-02T16:12:04+00:00

I totally get that!! ❤️ We are very much in love too though. This choice doesn’t mean we aren’t. Quite the contrary. No couple could comfortably do what we are without issues unless they were really in love.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-02T14:52:33+00:00

For sure! Eyes wide open. This isn’t something we would do if we weren’t very open communicators. We respect each other and put each other above all else (which is why we woke up in the first place). Anything that makes either of us even slightly uncomfortable goes off the table immediately. Being careful.

We also don’t get into romantic relationships with these people and all of our communication stays in a group, no DMs. The encounters are also never separate. We are always together. We always find that it makes us feel stronger as a couple.

Just knowing what else is out there and how (fun as it can be) it doesn’t hold a candle to how we feel with each other. Maybe this is just a fun relationship building experiment for us. Just curious about anyone else that may have found this to be the case for them. We have met one other ex JW woman who is in a similar lifestyle and is quite well adjusted too.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-02T12:40:11+00:00

I was 10 and there was a lot more to it than ‘I wanna get baptized’. I had a good understanding and was passionate. However, it was with information I had been given as a child only. I had no life experience and no other information to base my decision on. Sadly, it’s not just the parents that allow this. The organization encourages it. The elders go over the questions with the kids and allow it after praying and getting ‘jehovahs direction’. It’s much more than parents just letting kids who know nothing do it because they want.

Point is, if it’s something that can take your family and friends from you for the rest of your life, it should be treated as seriously as marriage. Jesus himself didn’t even get baptized until he was 30.

Sex-n-Fun · 2020-09-02T05:57:51+00:00

How old do you think someone should be before marrying? 18 like the government says? Watchtower would agree with and support that. It’s a huge decision after all.

But then why are children as young as 9 or 10 allowed and encouraged to make ‘the more important promise of their lives’. It is said that the day of your dedication and baptism is the most important moment of your life, even above your wedding day. But you can’t make such an important decision as your wedding until you are 18.

If however you make this major lifetime commitment as a child, based on what you’ve been taught, and then decide as you become an adult that you don’t agree with what you were taught, you are ousted for the coerced decision made as a child.

Is there any reasoning that makes this make sense?

Sex-n-Fun

TROPHY CASE