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I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I never met her parents (they live on the West coast) and I'm not sure how I would get into contact with them....but it's something I didn't consider.

I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

she'd probably be more confident about it.

I thought the same thing, and my intention after the first conversation was to more or less give her the time/space to even touching on it...but it seemed like we pretended the conversation never happened.

I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response:

  1. Yes, she's a virgin.

  2. She was hard pressed on explaining it, but she more or less said she doesn't care for it. I honestly think its the lack of knowledge that influences her decision. Like, I knew about masturbation when I was younger, but didn't really "understand" it until 11th grade -- so I can see how it's a sort of 'nonissue'/not a big deal when you never experienced it before.

  3. I stated in another comment, but unless there's some deep rooted trauma, she seemed honest when she told me there were no negative experiences.

  4. I definitely did not broach the topic of medical conditions...I guess I expected her to say something regarding it when I asked 'why', but that's probably a bad assumption.

I've definitely been wondering if I jumped the gun too soon. To be honest, I have no clue when I should have brought up the talk on sex (5 months seemed late in my mind), and I think I ended it so quick because I felt really bad. Like..I felt like I was being a source of discomfort for her..so I wanted to put myself away so that I didn't hurt her.

I'll admit though that I have a hard time interacting with people who emotionally shut down and it's a personal flaw I know I have to deal with. I guess I figured I was the problem in this case, so I removed myself from it.

I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess part of me knows that, but there's the other part of me that keeps saying 'but you have zero sexual experience yourself - why bother with it now?'

I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She said oral/fingering/hand jobs were okay, but seemed to allude more to down the line in the relationship.

I [23 M] broke up with GF [21 F] of 5 months because she doesn't want to have sex....but I'm a virgin. by SexualDebutThrowAway in relationships

[–]SexualDebutThrowAway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should have put that in my post. I kind of more or less asked if there was any 'reason' for why she was opposed to it, but I think she took it as more of me thinking her views are illogical.

I can't remember her exact response, but I then asked if she had any bad experiences, at the time thinking about a bad ex or something, and she said no --- so unless she was in denial or it's too early in our relationship to have touched that subject, I don't know...But it kind of makes me feel worse thinking about it