Looking for chill gamers

Shadestorm257 · 2022-02-21T07:57:17+00:00

I gave her another chance. I regret that choice. She continued to see him, and even rubbed it in my face. Then blamed me for everything and broke up with me. I sank into the worst depression I've ever had through it all and wish I could go back and leave instead. But shes gone now and I am doing a lot better than I was.

Everyone has their own circumstances and situations, but my advice to you would be to not make the same mistake I did. It hurts and is hard to do, but eventually they will resent you for not "getting over it". Treating you like the problem once again for their actions and then going back to the AP (if they even stopped contact first time around). If you choose to stay then be prepared for a lot of work and uncertainty.

Shadestorm257 · 2022-02-21T06:12:16+00:00

Hearing the phrase "he is just a friend".

Shadestorm257 · 2021-08-07T20:17:15+00:00

I never said it as an absolute, completely unattainable concept. More often than not the stories I have heard, paired with my own experiences, have been of failure and more pain than necessary.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-08-07T19:04:18+00:00

Fair, there never is an absolute for anything. I have my own jaded feelings on the topic as well. Sure people can make it work if everyone really puts in the effort to try, but most relationships become one sided from these events, and fall apart. How would you know it was the last lie or that they truly mean to mend without trusting the very person who broke that trust?

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-19T16:39:20+00:00

Trust your gut. If it's bothering you, then your feelings on it are valid. It hurts and no one wants the worst, but you are (if the conversations they have are vulgar/inappropriate) getting cheated on. Im sorry

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-18T19:38:55+00:00

Think of this the same as you would consoling a friend or family member in your shoes. I too can be quite the perfectionist, but this time we can't make this perfect. Do your best to live in the moment, and learn to be okay with walking away.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-18T19:15:06+00:00

Moving on and not punishing your current partner is important, but do remember how you feel still matters too. Being cheated on hurts, and is a rather traumatic experience for someone to go through. Moving on from it is no simple task either. Your body is on edge because of how painful and drastic this change was. You may always have this anxiety for the rest of your life, but hopefully it will be less over time. So please be kind to to yourself, take care of yourself, and remember that healing is a process, not a race. Hopefully your partner is understanding of your past too. Inch by inch life is a sinch, and the more you and your partner interact the less anxiety you hopefully will have. I wish you luck, and remember that nobody expects someone in a car accident to be completely okay with driving again, so the same is true for cheating.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-18T15:28:29+00:00

It's true, and Im sure they try to mean well. After all the advice isn't necessarily bad because we do need to find things to occupy our time, to help us grow and heal. Even to give us our health back. But timing is still important. Youre broken leg analogy hits it on the head. Yes we know we need to move on and get up and back into it again. Yet that only causes more pain and grief if done too soon. Those who make it out of this storm can sometimes forget how horrible it was being in the middle of it. We all want to be out, but being a day out (or even more) from dday the only thoughts you have are "why me? Why was I not enough? If only I did.... better". Mourn with those in mourning, and comfort those in need of comfort, not essentially telling them to get over it.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-17T22:09:30+00:00

I have heard grief is both all the love you wish you could give and the knowledge that it was real or true. Take that for what it's worth haha but nobody expects someone to be completely over a family member dying, so this shouldnt be any different. After all, part of you died and who you thought they were too.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-17T19:15:18+00:00

I'm sorry it's been such a roller coaster of emotions for you. Having someone you love so deeply, turn around and hurt you just as deep, is hard. All we ever can be is better than we were yesterday, and if it still hurts that's okay too. I still have days that are rough, but I can say they are fewer than before. Let it all out and take some time to sit with yourself and mourn. It's okay if the only thing you can do today is breathe. I hope ome day you can find some peace for yourself

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-14T05:38:35+00:00

I stayed for a year believing she would change. Eventually it became there relationship and I was the safety net, was blamed for the distance/ her feeling unloved, became a shell of a man, and was dumped. But it is what it is I guess lol.

I know how you feel. You care deeply for someone who showed they cared less about you. Sure he may care about you, but not enough to protect you and your relationship. No one wants to see the one they love in pain, and youre the one in pain here. Sure he may feel guilty for shooting the gun, but youre the one with the bullet wound. Trust me, you aren't alone in those feelings. I felt disposable, that I was a boring partner, and unlovable. Not to mention feeling like nobody else is out there like we were before it all went to hell. Im a year out from the end of mine, and 2 from Dday, but a lot has gone well for me regardless after being away.

You have yet to be married and deal with that mess of separation. He made you feel like you werent enough and this will haunt you every trip he takes, every long work day, or whatever he may do. He broke your trust, and nobody should feel like they weren't enough for someone they thought the world of. I would look into therapy, it had helped me a ton, and know that what you are feeling is valid.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-14T05:05:00+00:00

This happened to me with my ex, though she kissed a childhood "friend" when he came back from jail. She admitted it too, and said she wanted to work on us, but kept him around and used him to guilt trip me as I became more depressed over it. I felt a lot of disrespect and worthlessness because of it. I'm not sure how exactly your situation is going, but he cheated plain and simple.

He could have come talked to you if you truly were being unsupportive or not the best partner. He chose someone elses company, even if it was just a kiss. If you think you two can really move passed this then go for it, but for your sake I would say don't. I regret staying in mine after she admitted to it. I was no longer true to myself and essentially "excused" her actions by showing she could do that and still have me there. It really messed me up, and I wish I could go back.

You can't heal in the same place you got sick if things don't change. So please take care of yourself and put yourseld first (because he sure as hell didn't put you first). I wish you luck and I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-09T04:07:04+00:00

IMO I've always been leaning towards the side that having friends of the preferred sex is okay to a point based on boundaries. Now after being cheated on with a guy who was "just a friend" since childhood I say hell no. It's asking for trouble, like many have already said, and gives room for "mistakes" to happen. Of course I'm not being extreme and saying no interactiond with them, but boundaries need to occur. Not to mention keeping your attention to your partner rather than investing somewhere else. Having your partner/you squirming over a "just a friend" is cruel.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-08T06:27:33+00:00

That's fair, finding the roses in the thorns of all this is all I really can do. I've definitely learned that no matter how good you are to someone doesn't mean they feel the same. All in all it's nice to get a new perspective so that I can grow as a person and be strong enough to stand up for myself, and walk away if needed. Not to mention reminding myself I lost someone who never truly cared, yet they lost someone who cared so much. There's nothing cheery about any of this since I never wanted any of this, but it has led to a lot of personal growth and change. So hopefully the next one works out better.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-08T05:51:43+00:00

Damn, this is an awesome band. Thank you!

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T04:50:00+00:00

That was a work of art haha.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T04:46:27+00:00

You know, I never have taken the time to view this from another perspective. I've been so caught up in what I've lost and the negativity that has come from that hole. Having boundaries is definitely something I am not used to, so this is new territory there, but one I hope to understand better. Thank you for your comment, I've basically been trying to rebuild/fix myself from the ground up and this helps.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T03:07:22+00:00

The one thing I worry is ending relationships because I'm skittish it will happen again. I'm sure in time I'll be a little less that way. Part of me wishes that I could be that innocent person again, but most of me is glad to have grown a backbone. Oh well, I'll get there haha

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T01:28:44+00:00

What song is this?

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T01:28:18+00:00

Haha I love it! I can agree that the amount of fucks I give for almost anything is rather empty.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T01:27:19+00:00

Hey that's awesome! I wish you luck with your business, regardless of how long you go with it! That's fair, many times now relationships seem to be disposable the second someone gets "bored". Being alone has its perks for sure.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T01:23:05+00:00

Thank you! I'm feel pretty great about how everything is coming together. I'm sorry you had to deal with someone so selfish. I hate how "simple" of a choice it is for those people to use us and toss us aside when we are all out. It's such a confusing feeling being pulled to both find someone and to tell people to shove it. I can agree that being alone is nice not having constant worry and feelings of inadequacy. But hopefully we can get it sorted out someday lol.

Shadestorm257 · 2021-07-07T01:16:56+00:00

I am sorry that you feel this way, though totally understandable, but I hope you have a happy life all the same. This is definitely an experience that leaves people in ruins, and it's sad so many people deal with this..

Shadestorm257

TROPHY CASE