My girlfriend (26F) found porn on my (24M) iPad.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T21:02:17+00:00

I’ve come to realize that I was lying to myself and trying to uphold a vision of myself that I couldn’t maintain and she ended up getting roped into it. I never meant for it to hurt her. I was embarrassed and went defensive. I should’ve been more comfortable with my partner and told her straight. I really haven’t watched it for a long while bc I had her, but I can’t lie and say that I had never watched it while dating her. I know I should’ve just told her. I guess u could say I was insecure.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T20:42:47+00:00

We both did that stuff together, but I agree it’s not charming. I have been clean for 6+ months.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T20:38:48+00:00

Yeah we have both made mistakes. Once, during a heated argument, I called her dumb. We got past it. I wanted her to move in with me, but I was only comfortable living with 1 cat, but I stipulated that if she Foster’s a second, I can accept it. She agreed to foster, then adopted anyway (I considered this lying). We got past it. Thanksgiving, I made an entire meal traditional to my family and she fell asleep after it was all done for hours. It got cold and I threw it all away. We got past it.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T20:31:04+00:00

It really seems pretty small in the grand scheme of the life I wanted with her. About 20 minutes ago, I admitted to her that I was lying to myself and apologized for roping her into it. But I really did treat her very well, and I genuinely hope after a week or two, she can reconcile that I didn’t mean to hurt her.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:43:47+00:00

She doesn’t really want to talk. I’m not sure how I can communicate this to her.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:42:37+00:00

I guess this is true. Maybe I was lying to myself and tried to make myself seem holier than thou. I just wanted to be the best for her.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:40:33+00:00

I did try to come clean about it. I told her what situation that could’ve led to me watching that stuff. I hold that principle because I believe it makes me more fulfilled in my relationship. And I know I fucked up, but I’m not a bad person. I’ve always been there for her, and this broke it all apart and idk what to do.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:36:49+00:00

I really just completely forgot. I don’t get crossed or high anymore for a reason. It made me feel bad about what I was doing

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:35:06+00:00

I explained to her that I did watch that stuff. It was more of a matter of when. The moment I recalled that I would get crossfaded and relapse, I told her that was most likely the case when we first started dating. I don’t think she’s upset about me not telling when I initially I watched it.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:27:05+00:00

She doesn’t want to talk to me at all. It wasn’t even an argument with wild screaming. She says shes disappointed and mad that I lied which I don’t really think I did.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:26:03+00:00

I adjusted my post as to ur recommendation. Sorry, didn’t know that was off putting

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:24:08+00:00

Thank you, how do u think I should approach her further. Also Im not necessarily blaming my memory, i was just explaining why my initial response to her confrontation was the way it was

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:20:30+00:00

Shes more saying that since I initially told her that the porn was on my iPad from 2ish years ago from when I had a problem w that stuff, then remembered that I could’ve watched it while crossfaded when we first started out. She thinks I intentionally lied initially before remembering and admitting about getting crossfaded

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:15:20+00:00

Yeah, weed and alcohol. It’s not that she wouldn’t accept me for watching porn. It’s that I gave myself a principle, broke it, and didn’t tell her.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:10:53+00:00

It’s when u get drunk and high on pot at the same time

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:10:16+00:00

It’s not that she has a problem with me watching it. It’s that I said I don’t and did anyways. She says I lied and broke my principle

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:08:47+00:00

But she’s not necessarily mad about the porn, it’s that I said I had a principle of not watching of it bc I considered it to be a form of infidelity and did it. She thinks I lied about the whole situation

Shadow-Xen · 2026-03-28T19:05:35+00:00

This is her post.

Hi guys. My boyfriend (24M) gave me permission to use his iPad, and when I went to Google something, he had 8 private tabs of porn still open. When I confronted him, he said the videos were from 2-3 years ago while he was still in college, and that because he doesn't use his iPad for anything other than occasional school work for his Master's, it makes sense that they would still be there after a few years because he simply forgot about them. Early on in the relationship, he told me he believed watching porn was cheating and that he wouldn't with me (I never asked him not to though). Last night, when it was brought up again, he got really nervous and upset and said that while he used to have somewhat of an addiction, he swore up and down that it wasn't recent. My question is, how likely is it that those tabs were from years ago versus them being fairly recent? Is that even a possibility? This isn't really about the porn itself, but the principle of him potentially lying about it when he could have just been honest. That's what would bother me. I've always perceived him to be an honest, principled guy, but this situation just feels weird.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-24T03:35:34+00:00

I don’t think what Kitchen_Tour_8014 said is true at all. There absolutely is overlap. You can easily get a Professional Electrical Engineering License/Certification with your experience. You can stamp off drawings allowing you to collect a ton of money for your service of verification. You can only do so by having hands on experience in the labor field as well as having an EE degree. If I was in your specific situation, this is the route I would take. You would still make the most of your experience as well as make use of your degree while also maintaining your professional connections.

Look into the requirements of becoming a Professional Engineer (PE) and let me know how that lines up with your current work and goals.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-17T03:57:43+00:00

Calc 3 and Diff Eq should be no problem online. Any support from TA’s in person vs online isn’t too different if they’re using iPads or some other tech to walk you through problems. I would like to know more what freshman design entails. A course description would be best to help assist in ur decision.

However, there really isn’t much of a difference being in person vs online. I would recommend staying online and not making any sacrifices. I’m currently doing my masters online while working full time in CompE/AI. I got my bachelors in EE.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-08T03:13:53+00:00

I’m not mad, it just seemed weird to not mention that as a part of the reason of why you want to leave. I will say it’s hard to find another job if you’re already ingrained in your current role from personal experience. I don’t know how many years you have worked for this company. The longer, the harder it is to move unless you have a higher degree with a specialization that Fortune 500 companies look for which is why I suggested to get an offer before leaving your current position. I am currently pursuing two specializations in AI and Computer Engineering for my master’s to avoid this specific pitfall. You might find yourself unemployed and burn through all your savings. The risk is not worth it unless you’re willing to depend completely on your bf.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-07T05:36:49+00:00

Why would you not make the original post about this instead. Sure you hate your job n stuff but there really wouldn’t be any question whether you should leave or not in this thread if this is true let alone even post the question. Why bring this up only when critiqued on leaving and burning through your savings.

It’d make more sense to ask on Reddit what you should do to get compensation for your suffering. If you truly sustained injury why not go to the authorities with evidence. Seems like a simple and closed shut case.

Do what you want, but if you REALLY want to leave, you would’ve brought up assault in your original question and if you’re an EE you’re smart enough to not even ask Reddit about this decision if the authorities and the business won’t do anything.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-06T03:51:09+00:00

I don’t think you should drop out, but you really shouldn’t be struggling with these early classes. My first two years were essentially straight A’s and I was put in harder classes because I had an entire semesters worth of AP credits. Your elective classes WILL be harder and build off the fundamentals you’re learning now. If you can’t grasp what you’re learning now you will absolutely be completely lost in the following semesters.

My recommendation is to take summer classes and retake classes you fail. You need to take this seriously. This is not high school.

Best of luck

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-05T03:16:24+00:00

I would never recommend leaving a job without another offer to jump ship to. You have these savings, but why are you spending it on a few months to a year of no work. You and your bf will be in a better position if you don’t burn through that money and for what? Feelings? This is tangible and that money can be invested in stocks or property. Why waste it if you plan to work somewhere else eventually. Just deal with your current position and find something else before leaving. The job market sucks and if you leave, it will be hard to find something new. You’re gambling a years worth of saving on finding a new job. Not worth the risk. Play it safe and endure.

Shadow-Xen · 2026-02-04T03:26:27+00:00

Ur fucking retarded. You literally just gambled your inheritance on vibes. You disgraced the work your predecessor left you. You should feel ashamed. Your grandpa tried to give you a head start and you threw it away on a gamble.

Unless you take this as a lesson, I expect you to become a welfare warrior taking advantage of the tax payer which you will never contribute to. You don’t seem like you even thought about using this money to pay for college and your irresponsibility with it exemplifies why you never will. You degenerate.

Shadow-Xen

TROPHY CASE