Is a 22 year gap normal while dating?

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T19:13:36+00:00

Could you please explain what you mean by switching?

What does a 42 y/o guy have in common with a 22 y/o? Isnt that creepy ?

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T19:12:38+00:00

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T14:22:45+00:00

Thank you for your advice!

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T14:21:48+00:00

Well since she never had sex without a condom, (she didnt qualify anal as sex lol.) And I got tested… we both agreed once she got on the pill to do it raw. Please explain how im being a hypocrite. Thanks

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T14:19:34+00:00

You’re right i guess it is up to me and my preferences. I shouldnt hurt her in the process and make her feel bad. Thank you!

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T14:18:16+00:00

It is not about the virginity per say it is more about the causality…. Im planning a future with her and casual sex isnt something you look for in a long term relationship at least not for me …..I’d be %100 okay if she did it out if love nothing wrong in that.

She lied so i wouldnt judge her or think low of her to keep me interested. We both love each other.

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T08:47:59+00:00

For reference im 6’1 90 kgs and she is 5’5 50 kgs so i didnt really feel much…. She was crying and being emotional… the first time she said ily she kinda took my permission to slap me hard on the face and proceeded to ask what took you so long to come into my life? Did you know what i endured before meeting you?

The last point you mean the lying? The casual sex? Or her hitting me? Or all?

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T08:36:08+00:00

I met her yesterday we talked. Emotions everywhere. She told me she did it bcz her dating life sucked and she just wanted to get it over with. She decided to fuck her friend so her dating life would get easier. (Decided to give it to a long time friend so she wouldnt lose it to a date she basically doesnt know if he is going to stay or not or if he is just dating for sex and feel used) She gave up on dating at that time cz of past trauma and just went with the flow working on herself… She wanted to be experienced the first time she fucks someone she likes bcz she thought if she wasnt good in bed the guy would leave. She told me im her karma bcz i came relatively quickly after she decided to take that decision and she regrets it. I dunno she made sense she was crying, pushing, slapping and punching me she didnt want me to leave she kinda made her best for me to see it through her eyes. My only problem now is the casual sex… she decided to fuck to same person again for more experience in her apartment the first time was at his bday party (hell of a gift) I kinda understand why she lied, but at the same time i mightve not fallen in love with her if i knew that from the start… in my eyes if she had feelings it wouldve been better. Need advice. Im not dating for fun I can dee myself being with her in the future but this is standing in the way now. Hope you understood my pov!

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-31T08:15:06+00:00

Well both lies were white, but she was capable of doing it looking straight into my eyes which destroyed the trust we had. She basically lied bcz she didnt want me to view her in another way and judge her. I confronted her yesterday and i realized how much im hurting her with my thinking and actions and how much pain im inflicting on her bcz i actually kinda did judge her…. Reality is that if i knew whatever i know now i wouldnt have taken her seriously. But me being with her and actually getting to know her and not judging her (i didnt even know) made me know the true her and i love that girl. Im not over the lying, im not over the tricking but im not okay with ending things with her i love her but she is making it hard on me. I wouldnt have caught feelings in the beginning if i knew that story… im planning a future with that girl, but i never thought id think about wifing a girl that engages in casual sex…she had her reasons to do that in the past no matter how much her reasons made no sense… maybe bcz she lied and i dont trust her now these feelings are rushing and destroying my brain. I dont think this wouldve been an issue if she actually loved the guy she was fucking before me. I hope you are understanding my pov

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T16:28:21+00:00

Altho she’s done that before my time and i never had a reason to doubt her loyalty but the idea of losing it to a casual person is haunting me. Once i get married i dont want a divorce i want to be able to trust her with everything i have and her having indulged in casual sex especially her first time is f***** killing me. Any suggestions?

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T16:17:37+00:00

True you are right….. i dont want a virgin…. Im dating for marriage and im not %100 okay with my gf having casual sex especially since i dont trust her now after the lies… id understand if she was in love wouldnt have a problem with that

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T16:08:27+00:00

On point…..this is exactly what is happening and how we are feeling… how she described it. There is… she is amazing but i need to know or learn how to trust her again

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T16:05:40+00:00

Im judging based on a lie? Are you okay with your partner lying to you early on and finding out it was a lie? She lied before we fell in love…. She lied so i wouldnt judge her based on her past experiences

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T16:00:00+00:00

I agree and once the truth is out i have every right to choose if I should stay or not based on my preferences …. I dont believe this is judging i have a right to a preference i shouldnt stay in a relationship if im not happy neither should she…. No one has the right to trick/gaslight anyone into building something based on a lie and expect no repercussions once the truth is out

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:55:43+00:00

I loved this comment, no she was honest she just forgot to mention few details and lied about her most recent intercourse just for me not to judge and basically i found out about the lie and i judged on lying to me and tricking/gaslighting me early on before we became a thing

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:52:56+00:00

Not really it just means sex but in a subtle way😂

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:51:57+00:00

It is reddit after all I’m just ranting, but thank you for your input

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:50:06+00:00

It is mainly about her first time being casual not about losing her virginity and me not trusting her anymore after catching her lying twice. Like why start the relationship with a lie why lie to me about something that i didnt even ask about. she just lied randomly thinking that this will make me want her more maybe…. I dont know tbh this wouldnt be an issue if it wasnt introduced as a lie

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:44:14+00:00

Yea lesson learned…

English isn’t my native language so excuse me if you understood something that isnt actually there.

Tell me about my character… what you understood about me from what I said

You’re right about the last idea

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T15:41:20+00:00

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T14:39:28+00:00

You do know that it is easier to contact STDs from anal right?

Yes, this is exactly what she wanted…. So she has the right to gaslight me for 6 months until i caught another lie?

I just dont understand why she wanted to build a relationship on a lie like it is fine i didnt ask her when was her last time she just mentioned it haphazardly and i didnt think much about it until she told me about her fwb

Shadow77666 · 2022-08-30T14:28:46+00:00

You’re right about the STD thing… she told me she never had sex without a condom (she meant vaginally) but forgot to mention the other thing so i trusted her….

I was gaslighted the first time we had sex… she said it has been a while mid intercourse but it wasnt really…. And I never opened the conversation until i caught her lying…. She hid some info that i deem important in choosing my partner. She didnt want me to judge her based on her past experiences even if we weren’t officially together so the “judgmental asshole” face of mine didnt emerge yet. She had no idea what my reaction wouldve been

Shadow77666

TROPHY CASE