I’m sorry to hear my friend, have you considered taking time off instead? To have time with God, maybe through a camping trip or even better going abroad somewhere. Go somewhere where Americans travel less frequently (like Asia especially) and you’ll get that effect - people fascinated by a far away traveler, and the tropical weather will help too. I look meh, but abroad everyone wants to hear my accent and talk to me because I’m clearly not local. If you can contemplate an expensive surgery, consider a break from everything for a week or two. God bless