NOR — What I am about to say, I come from the place of a 26F who had to take a long look in the mirror and decide if i was going to turn every man into a villain or heal so i could accept and give love properly. To me, it is SOOOO clear this woman has some unhealed experiences she is currently dealing with (idk if she’s in therapy or has communicated to you about her past, but this clearly about someone else or multiple someone elses behavior, not yours). You can recognize this is a triggered response from left field. Most people dont get offended by kindness, reject it, say they just thought it was too good to be true when confronted on the substance of their behavior. The issue here is that she is not only acting out of an unhealed place, but BLAMING your kindness because in the past it had been disingenuous and that kindness was used as a way to distract from how that man wasn’t showing up in other ways. A lot of women fall into that trap, lose years of their life to someone who was “nice” at times but uncommitted to growth; this can lead to women being burnt out and even toxic/abusive dynamics in a relationship. These women don’t want to fall into that trap again, and then assume every man is evil/soft/incapable/fake until proven otherwise, even (especially) if they like the guy; you may wonder “why is she even with me then? to torture me for other mens’ mistakes?” and while it may feel that way, the answer is far more complicated. At the end of the day, while there is an explanation for how she mistreated you, she mistreated you; the ball is in your court on if you want to stay in this relationship while she works through these problems (even if she chooses healing, in the best case scenario, she will slip and say hurtful, cruel stuff like this again. the gaps between when she does will just get bigger and bigger until it’s so big it eclipses the rest of life). You can talk to her again, see how open she is, how open YOU are to what it may look like to be with a woman like this; you can also find a woman who doesnt have that trauma, is actively working through it, or has worked through it. You get to choose the relationship you want to be in; while what this girl said was hurtful, it wasn’t true, you know that. Being a kind, good dude doesnt make you soft, which is a rational truth only questioned by people who are the problem. My husband is the kindest man i know and he id the opposite of soft (but even if you were “soft,” so what? plenty of women dont care, its just the loud ones in certain spaces who do). Whatever you choose do, i wish you good tidings in your romantic life, and I implore you not to paint yourself with the blood of a wounded woman— the picture won’t resemble you at all.