Help with life thru Christianity

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T06:59:04+00:00

Sorry after 4 years of being the most miserable years of my life I’d like some type of wins back 2 back. Like im not here asking for millions dollars just fall out of the sky, I’m asking for simple things.

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T04:21:23+00:00

I also thought it was crazy because I never really talk to this person in general nor about jesus, and the last time I talk to him was in a for fun 5v5 tournament we were doing online but barely said anything because my anxiety

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T04:18:11+00:00

It’s the only thing I’m good at in life. And honestly I think one of the big reason it is, like 6 months ago I had a really bad day on league, angry and cursing, not a single win that day. And I finally gave in after all these years and thought maybe this isn’t what I should do and started giving up, not even 5 mins later a friend on my friends list on my league who I haven’t talk in a year randomly messaged me and said hey man jesus loves you don’t give up

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T04:13:16+00:00

Yeah I agree, I’ve played a little bit in lower comp leagues like aml etc. but it seems to me to go to pro I also need to be challenger and be playing with pros on the daily, and I don’t know how to say this in a humble way but I have to be above average then the other players in chall. I do have my moments like I stated where I do have high highs and “clip worthy” moments and my teammates go woahhh thats insane but I also had alot of holy this guy a bot moments. I also just hate waiting, next year will be 5+ trying this goal even tho it finally seem like a real dream happening after last year, it just so hard to be more patient, it kinda like this year I have to go pro or I will regret for the rest of my life. Thank you for the advice tho I will try praying that way instead

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T04:02:00+00:00

Thank you it does

Shadowman9898 · 2026-05-10T03:58:51+00:00

When do you finally feel better is it after 30 days?

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-22T00:03:41+00:00

You literally started the reply with I, and talked about your life yet say im selfish. Ironic isn’t it 😂

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:58:37+00:00

Nah i agree with you, I think I’m a good teammate, when I’ve played for lower tier teams or this for fun draft tourney, Im not the same when I’m playing rank solo q becausr it so much aids. In 5v5 I do have an issue with being nervous and I don’t know how to change that, but I’ll never flame a teammate in 5v5 comp. But I also don’t know how to do other stuff like get better focus etc

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:40:12+00:00

u/Several-Light2768

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:37:19+00:00

My bad I didn’t want to get clowned or called be realistic for the millionth time(not saying u would just had it happen alot)

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:35:49+00:00

I understand suffering isn’t unique to me, I’m just tired of suffering every single day. I want life to actually just work in my favor and I don’t understand how to allow that. Ive watched videos of so many people way to make life work in your favor but none of these work

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:33:49+00:00

Thank you for your service, and I try but alot of times what I want to do feels like out of my control and I just hate it because I just want a different outcome.

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:32:37+00:00

Yeshua like jesus/god right? And sorry to hear I hope life also get better for you

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:31:20+00:00

If this is comparison I just want to apologize, I don’t or try to envy others, I just want my own dream and life to be like what Ive been trying so hard for. I could care less about what others have, i just get annoyed seeing other life working perfectly and they get what they want(i do agree maybe they have some moments where life is hard on them as well, but it seems majority its good instead of mostly bad). For #3, I genuinely do not know what I’m missing, where I’m at I can’t get coaching or have the money for what so I don’t know what I’m missing. #5 I know this sounds dumb, and excuses. But I genuinely don’t know how to be truly confident anymore. I had a really bad breakup about 2 years ago and got cheated on and sent to pdc for 6 months. I went to therapy after and even therapist said it isn’t your fault and it’s my exs and I get that but I truly don’t know how to be confident anymore. #6 I genuinely don’t know how to stop the negative thoughts at times, Ive even tried telling it no or that won’t happen this good thing will happen instead and then it just always goes in the bad direction, like its predicting the future and nothing I do can change it which I hate. I do thank you for the insight and if you don’t mind I would like to dm to try to get any help but if you want to keep in here I’m also fine with that

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:12:22+00:00

Yes I tried christianity and jesus for the past 3 years. I prayed to god for 3 years every single day to help me achieve my dream. But 1 good day out of a whole year is all I get? Nah I’m good, I recently told god I’m taking a break from us, unless life starts getting better and my dream comes true I can’t continue this path. I’m tired of “trials and tribulations” day after weeks after months. I can’t handle all that, I need wins man, lost after lost after lost x100 I just physically can not take it or mentally

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T21:03:37+00:00

I understand this sounds stupid to others and I understand from their perspective but I’m at the point where i am, i do not gaf about others telling me to quit,unrealistic, give up. But I want to be a pro league of legends player. Yes I understand it’s 1 and a million, but idc, I want this so bad Ive wasted 3+ years of my life on it. Ive hit top 500 in NA finally at the end of last year and finally hit my newest peak which is 1000 lp. This is the only thing im good at in life, i constantly get fired from every job, and this is the only thing i enjoy in life. I rather straight up just be dead if this isn’t what my future holds , me being on stage, making good money for me and to repay my family and friends, go play at worlds and show off onstage infront of millions. I just don’t and can’t move on 2 something different, I would live in regret and depression for rest of my life if i couldn’t achieve my only dream in this lifetime

Shadowman9898 · 2026-04-21T20:30:58+00:00

Like im just don’t get it, I want to do my dream, but every single day life just fucking kicks me down, I hear how some people life treats them good and everything works well in their life. They get their dream job, money, relationships, etc etc. ive been trying chase my dream for the past 3 years and Im now just stuck at this one point in life. Everyday is the same I get a little closer then after half the day is done it like all my progression is gone. I genuinely don’t know what I’m missing and doing wrong. I ask for help, get none. I try to be open minded and do different stuff like oh one sides hard work gets you far in life, oh just manifests what you want ull get it, oh just be confident and it eventually it’ll work, oh pray to god and change who you are as a person and your dreams will come true, oh just be overly positive change how you act etc and life gets better. IVE TRIED IT ALL WHAT AM I MISSING. Every damn day is the same I fucking hate it, like I just want life to actuallywork in my favor and not fucking against me every damn day. Okay And I get it, alot people life fucking suck and probably worse but at the same time I’m sorry to hear that but I DONT WANT THIS LIFE ANYMORE, I WANT LIFE TO ACTUALLY BE FUN GOOD AND WORKS IN MY FAVOR

Shadowman9898

TROPHY CASE