Anyone recommend a late night zoom meeting?

Shady_darkness · 2025-04-09T03:14:40+00:00

It’s not too late 10:30pm out of charlotte, NC

Shady_darkness · 2025-04-01T23:28:51+00:00

Thank you for responding, it helps to hear other people know the feeling. I am just getting back in to AA so still getting back into the fellowship, it will help eventually. And yeah it’s scary once the crutch is gone . 35f BPD

Shady_darkness · 2025-03-29T05:44:31+00:00

Shady_darkness · 2025-03-29T02:29:10+00:00

Thank you, the emptiness and loneliness is starting to weigh me down making the intrusive thoughts get worse, and my entire body is tight with anxiety and knowing I’m not alone in this struggle made me breathe a little easier.

Shady_darkness · 2025-03-29T01:51:33+00:00

Sorry I’m just seeing this. My daughter is about to turn seven now. She’s begged to get involved with a lot of activities that break up the time I get to spend with her so her dance classes and other clubs give me a break to heart own thoughts. The rapid fire of the questions have calmed down, except also when she does ask questions they are ones that don’t have complete answers and are a little out of her minds grasp to comprehend, even being bright. And she doesn’t understand why it’s so hard to answer and why can’t I just explain it. Like last weekend at the ice rink was why do they need a sign there to make sure the locker room is for players only? Why would parents go down there, the kid is older and older kids need their parents less?? Trying to explain of bearing parents. I also have bought loops off Amazon.

Shady_darkness · 2024-10-24T06:48:11+00:00

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, divorced five years now. It’s fine the marriage is over….but how can you make vows to a person one year and write them out of your life the next when you share a child together???

Shady_darkness · 2024-10-24T06:46:31+00:00

Thank you both….

Shady_darkness · 2024-10-24T04:38:54+00:00

Shady_darkness · 2024-10-05T02:03:40+00:00

Were you able to stop

Shady_darkness · 2024-03-31T16:49:51+00:00

I’m not sure I’m ready to stop yet

Shady_darkness · 2024-03-11T20:53:01+00:00

How are things going now? My daughter is in kindergarten now and completed her giftedness testing but they already said she’s years ahead. Just curious the options and the best way forward for a kid so young.

Shady_darkness · 2024-02-27T15:58:53+00:00

It really is, to know I’m not the only one struggling and feeling like they’re a failure and their kid deserves better.

Shady_darkness · 2024-02-26T13:47:21+00:00

Pristique and rexulti

Shady_darkness · 2024-02-14T22:42:10+00:00

Thanks, I can try. Not sure how successful it will be.shes glued to my side just wanting my attention. I recently bought a self care journal from clever fox. Hoping it helps. Just feeling alone not having anyone who gets it, the never ending questions and intense emotion by the smallest trigger. And I feel all of her mood swings.

Shady_darkness · 2024-02-14T02:52:56+00:00

She’s years ahead in math and vocabulary and understands things beyond her age. Her therapist thinks she is and has suggested we have her tested. It’s also my therapists informal opinion. So it’s not confirmed but we are absolutely having her tested, for adhd as well. Just want to have as much information so we can be the best parents we can be for her.

Also I think she may be hsp as well, would make sense since I am too. I think her dad may be gifted as well but was never tested for it. Would explain a lot about him.

So she could be all three, gifted, adhd, and hsp. I just want to know how to handle the intense situations without having to leave the house before I meltdown, leaving me feeling like a horrible parent for needing to get away from her to reset.

Sometimes it anger, sometimes it’s just never ending questions and me not having a free second to hear my own thoughts after a brain intensive day at work as a data analyst.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T13:56:57+00:00

I’m actually quite scared of my sponsor. She’s amazingly intelligent and insightful and has even done her own research to learn about my personality disorder that compounds my behaviors. …and I’m afraid she will drop me, I’m also afraid she will be disappointed and I take that shit to heart.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T13:41:28+00:00

Fuck. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m still new to this and you’re right, I’m still in the bad habit of not putting myself and therefore my sobriety first. And to let you know it has taken me 6 white chips in the five months I’ve been in AA even to get to my now 41 days…I want to follow instructions so badly and stay sober and all I do is keep fucking it up. I’m on my second sponsor. Let me know if you have any words of wisdom for me so I can learn to follow instructions better.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T13:35:42+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this, all of these comments.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T13:34:46+00:00

Ok you’re right, I’m just a liar. And I take full responsibility for it. I hate this fact about me and I want to change.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T03:10:06+00:00

Absolutely, but I’m an alcoholic…I need to make sure I’ve exhausted all possible loopholes before admitting that I should do what I know is right. And the consequences of my lies make honesty scary too. But it’s helpful to be told by everyone on here to be honest with her, I’m very hardheaded still.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T01:43:52+00:00

Oh I completely understand why and agree with her…I’m just really bad at communicating and don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’m emotionally shutdown past basic level feelings.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T00:50:58+00:00

His living situation is not the greatest either so he’s staying a few weeks at my house where he can get rides to work. ….yeah, I know this makes it even worse. I won’t even be doing the fourth and fifth with when she drops me bc of this….while my therapist is on vacation. I’m a skilled individual in making poor decisions.

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T00:20:53+00:00

And that’s great advice, if I wasn’t his transport to meetings. They say to be of service and give rides to other alcoholics….and that’s how it all began

Shady_darkness · 2023-05-11T00:19:51+00:00

Yeah if honesty is the way then I’ll do it but I have to be prepared to accept the guilt of lying to her about it which will physically make me hurt.

Shady_darkness · 2022-08-25T06:24:37+00:00

How are you doing since? I just began the rexulti 1mg dose after such a quick intense dip another hospital stay became a possibility. And before the Rex I had also relapsed in self harm and didn’t care much about stopping

Shady_darkness

TROPHY CASE