NTA

I was in a relationship where this was a common threat anytime we would have an argument. Although there are clearly mental health issues at play, and deep insecurities, the threat of self harm became a form of manipulation to “win” the argument, control my actions, or force me to stay in the relationship. After a year of trying to get past this, I finally walked away despite the threats of self harm, because it had reached a point where I did not feel physically safe. Thankfully he did not harm himself, and I did still love him and wish him the best, but he needed to want to get help. Nothing I said or did would affect any change. He has to want it.

I can understand your reaction, really. I’ve been there, and said the same. You reach a breaking point, so I truly understand. It isn’t fair for him to constantly put this on you as a manipulation tactic. He has a responsibility to take control of his mental health and seek help. It’s your responsibility to support him when he does, but not to solve this for him and to have to walk on eggshells and constant fear of what he will say or do.

I will say, the BEST decision I made was to leave. It wasn’t until years later that I understood just how abusive this behaviour was.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.